Shit program synopses on Netflix and Amazon

[Spymaster]

How infuriating are these?

I pretty much always have to google the film and get the description from IMDB or Wikipedia. Why don't they give a meaningful summary?

These are on Netflix now:

"Good soldiers don't ask questions, but he's seen too much. They aren't on the same side anymore".

"The deeper he digs the more twisted the mystery. It's not a question of who did it but why"

"He's seen it all, every dark corner of London - but he's never encountered anything like this"

Does anyone have a clue what they're going to be about?

Also, why don't they seperate the foreign language stuff from the films in English? I'm not always in the mood for subtitles. How many times have you spent ages choosing and starting a film only to find it's foreign and subtitled?

Really bloody annoying.

 

[Pickman's model]

tbh what's really bad is the quality of subtitles on netflix, you don't need to understand the language being spoken to see the translation's often pisspoor

 

[Yossarian]

"The deeper he digs the more twisted the mystery. It's not a question of who did it but why"

 

[Fez909]

How infuriating are these?

I pretty much always have to google the film and get the description from IMDB or Wikipedia. Why don't they give a meaningful summary?

These are on Netflix now:

"Good soldiers don't ask questions, but he's seen too much. They aren't on the same side anymore".

"The deeper he digs the more twisted the mystery. It's not a question of who did it but why"

"He's seen it all, every dark corner of London - but he's never encountered anything like this"

Does anyone have a clue what they're going to be about?

Also, why don't they seperate the foreign language stuff from the films in English? I'm not always in the mood for subtitles. How many times have you spent ages choosing and starting a film only to find it's foreign and subtitled?

Really bloody annoying.

I have to write synopses ocassionally, and so I'm going to defend Netflix here: It's the programme makers who are the problem.

There are thousands of hours of content on Netflix, and no one has time to watch them all. So you rely on the programme maker to provide you with something to work with. If they supply a shit one-liner, that's what you go with.

Where I work, we often get no synopsis. Or we get the shit ones you describe above. Or sometimes we just get a transcript of the show and have to scan through to pull out some facts to put in the synopsis. I dont have time to watch all these shows to write a decent synopsis.

Sometimes we get a huge synopsis which we have to edit down into something that will fit into the space you have on the EPG or the menu. That's fine, not a lot of work.

Very ocassionally, we get a perfect synopsis that can just be copy pasted into the correct field and it Just Works. That happens so rarely that it still feels like I've won something even after two and a bit years of doing this job

 

[Spymaster]

I have to write synopses ocassionally, and so I'm going to defend Netflix here: It's the programme makers who are the problem.

There are thousands of hours of content on Netflix, and no one has time to watch them all. So you rely on the programme maker to provide you with something to work with. If they supply a shit one-liner, that's what you go with.

Where I work, we often get no synopsis. Or we get the shit ones you describe above. Or sometimes we just get a transcript of the show and have to scan through to pull out some facts to put in the synopsis. I dont have time to watch all these shows to write a decent synopsis.

Sometimes we get a huge synopsis which we have to edit down into something that will fit into the space you have on the EPG or the menu. That's fine, not a lot of work.

Very ocassionally, we get a perfect synopsis that can just be copy pasted into the correct field and it Just Works. That happens so rarely that it still feels like I've won something even after two and a bit years of doing this job

Ok, but why not use and condense the ones elsewhere on the net like IMDB. A tiny bit more work but at least you'd be producing something that's vaguely fit for purpose.

 

[Fez909]

Ok, but why not use and condense the ones elsewhere on the net like IMDB. A tiny bit more work but at least you'd be producing something that's vaguely fit for purpose.

Well, that's technically copyright theft and not something I would ever condone or have ever done, I promise

 

[Spymaster]

Well, that's technically copyright theft and not something I would ever condone or have ever done, I promise

Only if you reproduce it practically word for word. There's nothing to stop a reviewer reading a summation elsewhere and effectively reviewing that. Loads of them do it. It just seems to me that Netflix, and to a lesser extent Amazon, seem to have some kind of policy of writing synopses that are supposed to be teasers rather than actually informative.

 

[Yossarian]

They should just get this writer to do them all.

 

[Reno]

I just checked a few Netflix synopses and most of them aren't that bad. I usually do a quick google when I come across a film or series I've never heard of, to see whether it's worth watching.

 

[Orang Utan]

I just checked a few Netflix synopses and most of them aren't that bad. I usually do a quick google when I come across a film or series I've never heard of, to see whether it's worth watching.

Definitely worth doing. I started watching a film called Escape Room last night and looked it up on IMDb only to find out it's a different, much more poorly received movie released a couple of years before the more recent one. So I watched Parks & Rec instead.

 

[muscovyduck]

Only if you reproduce it practically word for word.

It is not that simple. Not really interested in talking about it but just thought I'd flag it up because it's a common misconception that gets people caught up in a lot of shit

 

[keybored]

"Good soldiers don't ask questions, but he's seen too much. They aren't on the same side anymore".

Private Smith is addicted to television in his spare time. He gets confused when a couple of his favourite programmes move from BBC2 to C4.

"The deeper he digs the more twisted the mystery. It's not a question of who did it but why"

Civil engineer is excavating a blocked sewer and just keeps finding potatoes in the pipes. WTF?

"He's seen it all, every dark corner of London - but he's never encountered anything like this"

Well he hasn't fucking "seen it all" then has he?

 

[Spymaster]

 

[T & P]

Spymaster makes a good point, I too despair at the synopsis on offer. It’s annoying as we’ve probably dismissed a few decent things over time because the description was so
awful and misleading.

it’s not so much of a problem for me with certain genres, such as sci fi or horror, as all I want to know is whether the film in question is shit or watchable, and for that you check online reviews on various sites to make your call. But for more ambiguous themes or cross genre films, Netflix’s synopsis offers little help in determining what kind of flick you’re looking at.

 

[Spymaster]

Spymaster makes a good point, I too despair at the synopsis on offer. It’s annoying as we’ve probably dismissed a few decent things over time because the description was so
awful and misleading.

it’s not so much of a problem for me with certain genres, such as sci fi or horror, as all I want to know is whether the film in question is shit or watchable, and for that you check online reviews on various sites to make your call. But for more ambiguous themes or cross genre films, Netflix’s synopsis offers little help in determining what kind of flick you’re looking at.

Spot on. You decide from the Netflix synopsis whether or not to look it up on IMDB. Much of the time the Netflix blurb is so shit and random you just move on.

The synopses in the OP are from Green Zone, The Sinner, and The Frankenstein Chronicles. All worth watching but totally skippable if you're led by the the Netflix description.

 

[T & P]

As an aside thought, in this age of technology and increasingly accurate personality profiling, I’m surprised no one has come up with a website that analyses your taste in films in depth and then recommends films that you are most likely to enjoy. A bit like e-Harmony for film & TV series I guess.

Netflix tries to do this to a degree but their recommendations are still quite hit-and-miss. For me they get the sub-genres I’m likely to be interested in broadly right, but as well as the watchable stuff they still recommend some films that are utterly shit.

Perhaps I’ll go to Dragons Den with this...

 

[Nanker Phelge]

 

[Reno]

If you aren’t sure you can always play the trailer. I don’t know how much more convenient things can be made. I doubt I’ve ever watched anything on Netflix or Amazon because of the synopsis and I also doubt that an algorithm could ever predict what I like.

 

[Orang Utan]

Just look it up on imdb first. There's usually a Metacritic link to click on

 

[Reno]

Just look it up on imdb first. There's usually a Metacritic link to click on

I think we already recommended that but it got ignored in favour of more complaining.

 

[Spymaster]

Just look it up on imdb first. There's usually a Metacritic link to click on

But it has to initially arouse your interest to make you look it up!

That type of schpiel just annoys me and makes me skip it.

 

[Reno]

If something is worth watching on Netflix/Amazon there usually is some sort of conversation about it in the culture. If you read the culture section of papers or listen to its equivalents on radio programmes, podcasts, then films and tv shows on streaming services get discussed and reviewed like films and programmes at the cinema and regular tv. It’s basically the same as deciding what to see at a cinema. I usually know what I want to watch before I get on Netflix/Amazon. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s probably crap. Like with anything, 90% of what is on those services is not worth watching. But the good stuff is really good.

 

[Orang Utan]

Here's a good place to find out what's well regarded - there are dedicated threads after all

 

[Spymaster]

If something is worth watching on Netflix/Amazon there usually is some sort of conversation about it in the culture. If you read the culture section of papers or listen to its equivalents on radio programmes, podcasts, then films and tv shows on streaming services get discussed and reviewed like films and programmes at the cinema and regular tv. It’s basically the same as deciding what to see at a cinema. I usually know what I want to watch before I get on Netflix/Amazon. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s probably crap. Like with anything, 90% of what is on those services is not worth watching. But the good stuff is really good.

That's all good and well for serious film buffs like you, but most of us just browse through the streamers looking for something that takes our fancy.

As OU says up there^, these threads are as far as research goes for your average, half-arsed, film watcher. Over the years you get to know whose recs are up your street and whose aren't. For example, I know Mr.Bishie will like Undercover so I've tagged him up. My issue is that there's some really fucking good stuff hidden behind shit synopses that don't get a chance unless someone hits them by accident. Like Undercover.

 

[T & P]

If you aren’t sure you can always play the trailer. I don’t know how much more convenient things can be made. I doubt I’ve ever watched anything on Netflix or Amazon because of the synopsis and I also doubt that an algorithm could ever predict what I like.

Oh that doesn’t work at all ime. I’ve seen plenty of very promising trailers for films that turned out to be shit.

That is a bit of an art form in itself imo, and perhaps even worth a thread about contrasting expectations vs reality between trailers and their films.

The final trailer for The Force Awakens was imo one of the all time-greats. I’m a big SW fan but still that trailer still gives me goosebumps, even after having watched the film and actually finding it fairly disappointing. And you don’t need high profile accomplished directors and the London Philharmonic Orchestra to pull off an deceiving trailer either. Plenty of low budget films on pay per view have compelling trailers that make the film look far more interesting than it turns out to be.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Or worse, trailers that are packed with spoilers

 

[Reno]

Oh that doesn’t work at all ime. I’ve seen plenty of very promising trailers for films that turned out to be shit.

That is a bit of an art form in itself imo, and perhaps even worth a thread about contrasting expectations vs reality between trailers and their films.

The final trailer for The Force Awakens was imo one of the all time-greats. I’m a big SW fan but still that trailer still gives me goosebumps, even after having watched the film and actually finding it fairly disappointing. And you don’t need high profile accomplished directors and the London Philharmonic Orchestra to pull off an deceiving trailer either. Plenty of low budget films on pay per view have compelling trailers that make the film look far more interesting than it turns out to be.

What you find shit may be a masterpiece for someone else. I don’t like a lot of the films I watch which I think should have been great. Why would this experience be any different on Netflix ? Personally I don’t go by trailers but by reviews of publications, websites and critics I respect. Just like with movies at the cinema I read reviews for anything I’m interested in on Netflix. And then I still don’t care for a considerable amount of it. That’s just how it goes when it comes to art and entertainment, there is no guarantee that you’ll enjoy something,

 

[imposs1904]

How infuriating are these?

I pretty much always have to google the film and get the description from IMDB or Wikipedia. Why don't they give a meaningful summary?

These are on Netflix now:

"Good soldiers don't ask questions, but he's seen too much. They aren't on the same side anymore".

"The deeper he digs the more twisted the mystery. It's not a question of who did it but why"

"He's seen it all, every dark corner of London - but he's never encountered anything like this"

Does anyone have a clue what they're going to be about?

Also, why don't they seperate the foreign language stuff from the films in English? I'm not always in the mood for subtitles. How many times have you spent ages choosing and starting a film only to find it's foreign and subtitled?

Really bloody annoying.

Trust me, Hulu's worse . . . a thousand times worse. They tell you nothing.

 

[imposs1904]

tbh what's really bad is the quality of subtitles on netflix, you don't need to understand the language being spoken to see the translation's often pisspoor

It's Americans who do the subtitles for Netflix. Always transcribe 'arse' as 'ass' when doing sub-titles for British and Australian shows. It kills me every time.

 

[Steel Icarus]

When captions get stuck