danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
The captain of the first ship through the canal missed a golden opportunity to do the funniest thing ever.
Ship porn
- Thread starter bi0boy
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Indeliblelink
\......👁&👁......./
I'm sure they've done this deliberately for the attention. Not quite of the same stature as the Suez Canal.
www.theargus.co.uk
Cargo ship gets stuck after drifting across river in early hours
AN 80-metre ship is currently stuck diagonally in a harbour after drifting out into a river early this morning.
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hitmouse
entreprenulsoip critical thinking
The Last Time the Suez Canal Was Blocked a Utopian Communist Micronation Was Formed at Sea
The last time ships got stuck in the Suez Canal, they were there for eight years and developed a separate society with its own Olympic Games.
www.vice.com
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
I worked on this fuckpig once. What a shit job. Don't be tempted to work on one of these things unless you're the helicopter pilot. Everyone else is a fucking slave. 70% of the crew's workload is cleaning.
There's usually a Mini next to the helicopter.
The captain is a piece of work. His management technique is to creep up behind you and stare at you for ten minutes...eventually you sense his presence, turn around and freeze...he carries on staring for another couple of minutes...not a word is said. Then he fucks off to stare at someone else. Zero social skills. Doesn't even introduce himself to new crew. Doesn't even eat with the crew, which is unheard of. Morale is so bad that there may be 30% new crew before a voyage, and some will quit without ever having a conversation with him.
I probably shouldn't mention the owner. A family man in an Arab state doesn't like to be outed as a pederast. His porn collection is stored on rack upon rack of servers. You can watch it in any cabin if someone shows you how to bypass the parental lock. Which is pretty much the first thing explained to you when you're shown to your accommodation.
Please nobody mention the tub's name, or the lawyers might have me killed.
There's usually a Mini next to the helicopter.
The captain is a piece of work. His management technique is to creep up behind you and stare at you for ten minutes...eventually you sense his presence, turn around and freeze...he carries on staring for another couple of minutes...not a word is said. Then he fucks off to stare at someone else. Zero social skills. Doesn't even introduce himself to new crew. Doesn't even eat with the crew, which is unheard of. Morale is so bad that there may be 30% new crew before a voyage, and some will quit without ever having a conversation with him.
I probably shouldn't mention the owner. A family man in an Arab state doesn't like to be outed as a pederast. His porn collection is stored on rack upon rack of servers. You can watch it in any cabin if someone shows you how to bypass the parental lock. Which is pretty much the first thing explained to you when you're shown to your accommodation.
Please nobody mention the tub's name, or the lawyers might have me killed.
High Voltage
In the top 97% of Urban's most interesting posters
farmerbarleymow
I'm Petee's spirit animal
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
David Clapson said:
It's written on the side of the thing in your first picture.
There's a series on tele at the moment, Below Deck Mediterranean, it looks thoroughly shit working on these boats, ludicrously long hours pandering to every whim of entitled wankers. Everyone involved seems like a massive arsehole, the agents are the worst people in the history if humanity.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
It’s obscured though
bellaozzydog
rolling turds in glitter
black baggers
They get off the vessels with bin baggers of duty free fags and expensive joints of meat/anything else they ask for
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
I read it fine and now know who it belongs to. Also know the hull used to be white.
planetgeli
There's no future in England's dreaming
Never heard of him. Car salesman. I expect he worked his way up from the bottom. (He didn't).
Hope it sinks.
Hope it sinks.
bellaozzydog
rolling turds in glitter
My suez transits always consisted of “up pirating” the the vessels so they were less easy to get on when we got to the naughty end and trying to stop these mad little boats coming alongside and embarking mini bazaars/vendors up through the pilot door and into the vessel corridors
up pirating consisted of a couple of security guys joining the vessel doing some lectures, hanging razor wire everywhere locking shit up and dressing manikins up in overalls with hard hats, plywood AK47s and tying them to prominent railings
Panama is a much more interesting canal, I’ve done it twice east to west,slept through it once. It’s got trains !!
up pirating consisted of a couple of security guys joining the vessel doing some lectures, hanging razor wire everywhere locking shit up and dressing manikins up in overalls with hard hats, plywood AK47s and tying them to prominent railings
Panama is a much more interesting canal, I’ve done it twice east to west,slept through it once. It’s got trains !!
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
Either I'm very very blind or you have some sort of Blade Runner zoom software
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
Get down to Spec Savers.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
are we looking at the obsured writing beneath the plimsoll line or the weird art deco sign further up near the bridge?
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
Up near the bridge, it's just five letters...
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
You can charter it if you like, starts at €650,000 a week.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
i can only read the first - the rest is indiscernible lines
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
The point is that googling the name won't lead anyone to Urban or the thread.
I must watch that series, never heard of it!
There are a few owners who are enlightened and civilised. If you get on their boat and do well, after a while they offer you a rotation - 3 months on the ship, 3 months ashore, etc, doing a sort of job share with someone else but without a drop in pay. That's how to keep good people and have efficient working relationships and decent morale. If you don't get a deal like that you're a prisoner all year round, often going for looong periods without a full night's sleep because of night watches. (People have to patrol the whole ship all through the night, as if it's a warship being hunted by submarines FFS. Open every door and hatch, check every porthole for leaks and pirates and sea snakes.) So if you want a holiday you have to quit, have your holiday, then look for a job on a different ship. It's no wonder so many of the crew are moody depressives. Mostly nice people, banking the cash and putting it in buy to lets, dreaming of a settled life ashore. A few are freaks and weirdos. But only a few.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
Are you the guy who runs Cornucopia, David Clapson ?
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
On the episode I watched it was a charter operation, perhaps dealing with an owner may be nicer, but the sort of people who shell out €250k a week to hire a boat expect a lot for their money. One had a hissy fit that there was a force 8 blowing and they wouldn't be leaving port that morning, pretty sure I heard her say "It's not fair" at some point, like the fucking weather should behave itself for her.
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
No! I don't do nuffink. Done lots of things but never had a shop. I usually tell people I'm a former journo, now with ME/CFS.
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
Charter people are welcomed because they pretty much have to give massive tips, which go to the crew. The £650k per week is just the start... doesn't include a tip of at least 10%, or fuel, or helicopter rides or the sat phone. And of course all the cunts have to turn up with a new wardrobe in new Louis Vuitton sea chests, and have hairdos and manicures every day.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
beesonthewhatnow
going deaf for a living
A friend of mine spent 2 months on what was at the time one of the top ten largest superyachts in the world. His job each evening was to turn one of its 2 helipads into a dancefloor and setup a huge PA system. Then various superstar DJ’s and A list Hollywood actors/celebrities would be guests on board while the ever rotating assortment of Chinese businessmen who’d hired it enjoyed bowls of cocaine and the attentions of Europe’s finest prostitutes.
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
It's a fucked up world. There shouldn't even be boats like this...nobody should be able to afford one. Used to be that only Onassis and the Queen had one. Now they're everywhere. The yards have full order books. The one-upmanship at the top of the market is just mad. You need two helicopters, a moon pool, a diving instructor, a submarine, a hull rated for icrebreaking. EVERYONE's got a submarine these days. The boat I was on was pretty piss poor...it could only boast high ceilings and two lifts and a gym and the porn, and a cruising speed of 17 knots, which is pretty good. £100,000 for fuel to cross the Atlantic. Takes all day to fill up.nice
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
A friend of mine does restoration of wall art as well as installing friezes and various other things. This career has led them into some bizarre encounters with the super rich. One Russian oligarch had a freshwater fountain on their yacht that was moored in Hamburg. They also installed a frieze in the English pub that a client had built on their estate, despite the fact that he was a Muslim who abstained. He just wanted to pull pints for his guests, and even had a raised bar installed so the diminutive host could serve his guests at eye height.
