These narratives were my parents legacy - a history of resisting injustice, speaking out, and fighting back. But of all their memories that had become my own, one stood out beyond all others. On a summer day in 1944, my mother was herded from a cattle car along with the rest of its human cargo, which had been transported from Belgrade to the concentration camp at Bergen-Belsen. She saw a group of German women, some on foot, some on bicycles, slow down as the strange procession went by and watch with indifferent curiosity on their faces. For me, these women became a loathsome symbol of watching from the sidelines, and at an early age I decided that my place was not with the bystanders.
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All during my childhood my parents continued pursuing their socialist visions of justice, whether through their involvement in workers' strikes and demonstrations, or their outspoken protest against the military rule over Palestinians in Israel, or their fierce opposition to David Ben-Gurion's dealings with West Germany. The police showed up on our doorstep several times, once to question my mother about distributing political leaflets, later to arrest my father for organizing illegal rallies.
I was five when I asked them why they had come to Israel; after all, they had never been Zionists. I found my answer years later, during the eighties, while studying in Amsterdam. Living there, I felt the true force of the void left after 1945, of how Europe, home to millions of Jews for hundreds of years, had simply spewed them out; how most people had collaborated with Nazi Germany's antipluralistic psychosis and accepted the gradual and final removal of the Jews with indifference.
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I do not yearn for the landscapes of their childhood. I was born to the saffron of Jerusalem, the squills of the seashore, and the dry desert wind. But in my memory there will always be my parents' backward glance, their last look at the beloved homes from which they were banished. Because of their loss, though, my parents, unlike many other Jewish newcomers, would not move into a home just vacated by other refugees - Palestinians - when they arrived in Israel in 1949.