Mystical rules of your household

[harpo]

Expensive things like boilers or washing machines never break in ones. Two or three will go at the same time.

 

[StoneRoad]

Not to mention the black hole that swallows single socks......and screwdrivers. The latter get turned into wire coat hangers and them emerge from a while hole in the wardrobe........

Sorry, I meant "White" hole, the productive opposite of the all-consuming monster of a black hole.

 

[8115]

There's always a knack to something.

 

[starfish]

A bird will always shite on the kitchen window just after youve washed them.

 

[mentalchik]

when settling down to watch a film/prog you've looked forwards to, you will wake up just as it finishes.

 

[cesare]

Disappearing teaspoons

 

[DotCommunist]

Disappearing teaspoons

frogwoman nicks them all

 

[cesare]

frogwoman nicks them all

Does she play them? Or practice Uri Geller tricks with them

 

[TruXta]

Fed up waiting for a delivery, a phone call, a minicab or something else? Just start doing something which is time critical or difficult to stop in a hurry, be it deep conditioning, real custard, dyeing etc. At the most incovenient moment possible, you'll be interrupted by what you were waiting for.

I use that when I wait for the bus - as soon as I light a ciggie the fucker arrives.

 

[Poot]

Disappearing teaspoons

I've got your teaspoons. Do you have my socks? One of each?

 

[Manter]

if there is somewhere you really don't want the cat, that is the first place he will go.

 

[cesare]

I've got your teaspoons. Do you have my socks? One of each?

No spare socks Are you missing anything else?

 

[Poot]

No spare socks Are you missing anything else?

Hairbrushes, hair bands and knives. They appear to have turned into scissors.

 

[DotCommunist]

Does she play them? Or practice Uri Geller tricks with them

she puts them in cups then hides them round my room

 

[frogwoman]

if there is somewhere you really don't want the cat, that is the first place he will go.

i know

 

[cesare]

she puts them in cups then hides them round my room

Mouldy cups and teaspoons

 

[stuff_it]

Used to get loads of broken cups and dishes and spilt ashtrays in the night on Maples St, Nottingham unless you nailed up a potato in the corner.

 

[cesare]

Hairbrushes, hair bands and knives. They appear to have turned into scissors.

Loads of elastic bands if those are any good?

 

[silverfish]

no matter how much storage you have the best place to organse clothes is spread out on the back on a chair

 

[KeeperofDragons]

As soon as one hairbrush is located, the one you were using previously returns to the lost hairbrush dimension until such a time as the next hairbrush enters the dimension, thus forcing out another one in its place.

That's because only one hairbrush at a time can exist in this dimension...

...they also change places, it's a game they play - stops them getting bored

 

[jakethesnake]

if there is somewhere you really don't want the cat, that is the first place he will go.

Cats are mystically attracted to patches of wet concrete. Cats also love shitting in piles of builder's sand.

 

[emanymton]

A bird will always shite on the kitchen window just after youve washed them.

We cunningly avoid this one by never washing the windows.

 

[Cloo]

Disappearing teaspoons

Yes, this one especially puzzles me, as neither of us are tea drinkers, and gsv has his coffee without anything else in it, so it's not as though they go out of the kitchen.

 

[Plumdaff]

The plate/mug/wine glass that smashes on the floor is always the favourite/best one.

No matter how often you buy it, you have always just run out of tomato puree.

 

[clicker]

Disappearing teaspoons

I blame yoghurt eaters....I think it's written on the side of the pot...

1. lift lid.
2. lick lid.
3. eat yoghurt.
4. fold up lid and shove back in empty pot.
5. stand teaspoon inside pot as too mucky to lay on table yet....
6. dump whole lot in canteen bin.

 

[cesare]

I blame yoghurt eaters....I think it's written on the side of the pot...

1. lift lid.
2. lick lid.
3. eat yoghurt.
4. fold up lid and shove back in empty pot.
5. stand teaspoon inside pot as too mucky to lay on table yet....
6. dump whole lot in canteen bin.

I think you've just solved the riddle!

 

[Firky]

The cat will shit in a corner which is as inaccessible as it is ideally suited to maximum exposure to the smell.

It is quite likely said cat will crawl into the same corner and die, or find somewhere even more inaccessible to die such as behind the plumbed-in-under-the-counter-fitted-washing-machine. The bastard.

 

[Voley]

A dustbin is like a Tardis. A binliner can be filled to twice its capacity when out of sight and mind. You'll need a crowbar to get the fucking thing out and it'll burst all over your kitchen floor but this won't affect its magical properties next time you ought to empty it.

 

[Firky]

I do this every week:

I have one of those plastic boxes you throw or your recycling stuff in and I always give tins, food containers etc a rinse and let them dry before I put them out for recycling. And every week when I go to empy the plastic box into the big wheely recycling bin I'll drip something noxious all over the floor that has leaked from the box.

When bringing logs in you will always grab the one with a massive slug on it too

 

[Firky]

Go to put a wallplug into the wall and it just falls down into the cavity. So you end up hanging a bathroom mirror with two tubes of no more nails where it shall never ever come off without taking half the wall with it.


Only to find that doesn't actually happen and when having a shower, it falls off the wall, smashes all over the fucking floor and you then stand on every sliver of glass in barefeet