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Just found out a guy who works for me is being a git

Going to break this up into paragraphs before I read it and reply as it's like a magic eye picture:


firky, I am slightly taken aback by what is basically a personal attack. I thought this was a place where people came to discuss things, I didn't realise there was a prescribed set of views for entry. I think polluting' and 'sewage' is unhelpful, but you clearly feel very strongly. Some of what you have said is fair-I apologised to nipsla because she was right to call me on it- I learn stuff on here about things that are said as a matter of course in my workplace and in lots of the clients I go into, and about things where people come from different perspectives.

It has opened my eyes to a number of things, and I value it for that. I think a number of people would disagree with you that there is a right or acceptable way to be left wing- and I don't think it's acceptable to demand someone thinks hard and potentially leaves the boards because their views don't accord with yours. Some of what you are callings me up on, I think, says more about you than me; some have been take out of context, and some really aren't remotely relevant, such as my joking about a cliche of the nice middle class girl (the only time I remember using it was when someone said I should know my rights when I'm dealing with the police, so it was a pretty obvious joke about why I didn't) is really not anything I can see an issue with, and I imagine I was 'given an easy time' because it is no big deal, rather than because everyone had been at the festive sherry.

Similarly I can't see the issue with the phrase the Indian- he was the person being discussed in the sentence, it was simply a descriptor- the indian as opposed to the client, or the manager. If you had provided a clear rationale for why that is racist, i would be prepared to listen, but accusing me of being racist just because you dislike me and its an unpleasant insult is pretty unpleasant i. Its turn. if someone wants to engage constructively on my opinions or assumptions, I am happy to do that, but being accused of ruining the boards and driving people away just by being here, then being told it isn't an attempt to drive me away, seems pretty odd to me.

I don't think it is helpful or constructive or in the spirit of urban, certainly not the urban that has welcomed me. If there is a set of criteria for engagement and I don't meet those criteria, then feel free to tell the mods and they can tell me I am 'polluting' the boards, but I like and value some of the people I have met on here- they have an interesting pov, even if I don't always agree with it. Certainly I have no intention of losing what I do value about these boards boards be wise a couple of people want to give me a rough ride for being here, and I will continue to listen and learn, and share.
Click to expand...
 
Firstly,

Take it as a personal attack if you wish, I don't care. Is this not a discussion? You could say it is one of the things that you could learn from, or you could take it as a personal attack. Up to you.

At no point but did I say or suggest these forums offer only a prescribed POV, that's a load of rubbish. Sas' is a rampant tory and has been here many a year so try another tact. I don't really want to go into your older posts but... I only chose those ones because they stuck in my head as a bit questionable and off key. Although when you used the middle-class nice girl thing you were using it to distance yourself from the brain dead house wives, to demonstrate that somehow you are better than them, a lot of people thought the same. Go and look, it is in the Christmas forum - you will see I am not alone. You're right it is not a big deal but it is symptomatic of your attitude to a lot of things. Such as your attitude towards the 'overheads', sorry the staff, in your office. There's something to be said about people who look down on their staff as overheads as oppose to team members. Again it is the choice of words.

Also I never said you were racist, it was more of a demonstration that if you throw words around with such powerful connotations then I'll show you an example likewise. A parody if you will. If you don't see why the phrase 'the Indian' is objectionable then perhaps ask MrsDarlingsKiss why she found it uncomfortable or you could choose to ignore that and see it as a personal attack.

And finally, yes you are example of how differently this board is from yesteryear. Boards change, people come and go - as I said Facebook is responsible for a lot of people disapearing but also so is the changing attitudes of the boards by new posters. Calling sectaries 'overheads' is dehumanisation of a worker. It reduces them to a commodity, a nuisance, an unfortunate cog that needs oiled to work.

No. I won't unquote. I got what I wanted and that is for you to check your usage of the phrase "the indian" take that as bullying if you like.

But I am glad that you said you will continue to listen and learn. There is hope.
 
Sorry, I cross-posted with you firky. Can't help myself. :oops:

Manter said:
firky. Please unquote- you've got what you wanted, there is no need to bully.
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He's not fucking bullying you, ffs. He clearly wrote that post before he'd seen that you decided to edit and flounce or he wouldn't have been able to quote it. He's also said nothing unreasonable AFAICS. The dehumanising effect of "the blacks", "the gays", "the Jews" has been discussed on plenty of recent threads. It's hardly a controversial point. People are nouns, not adjectives.
 
Manter said:
Scrap what I said, that personal attack has reduced me to tears, I am horrified at being accused, absolutely without foundation, of racism, (i suspect you don't even believe it, i suspect you are deliberately being hurtful). While i know hormones doesn't leave me in the most calm and robust state, I should be focussing on more important things right now than defending myself against personal attacks. I liked and appreciated what I found on here-support, friendship, information-, but I can't deal with being called racist, a fucking sick fuck, sewage,and the other stuff that has been thrown at me for having the temerity to be on here and occasionally disagree with others. Some of what you call me up on is fair- I apologised to nipsla because she was quite right to call me on what I said. Most of the rest of it, I disagree with, but I am not robust enough right now to deal with a lunch mob who hate me just for who I am.
Click to expand...

Oh shut up. You are not the victim here and no one has accused you of racism. Read the thread.

If I was doing any of the things above I'd have been dragged over hot coals by people on here not getting likes and agreements from them.
 
Any road, back to Pingu's trials and tribulations with office male chauvinism.


Thought I was being gentle too. :hmm:
 
I'm honestly not sure Manter means to come across as she does, I've always thought she was ok really if a bit removed from the real world . . . although I have to confess I'm still a bit bemused that she called me boring :oops:
 
Can't see why 'the Indian' bothers people? I'm stunned actually.

Haven't seen the other stuff that's supposed to have been said but nice one for challenging it.
 
baldrick said:
Can't see why 'the Indian' bothers people? I'm stunned actually.

Haven't seen the other stuff that's supposed to have been said but nice one for challenging it.
Click to expand...
'The Indian' doesn't sound great, though if you wanted to be charitable there's always a difficulty when you have to refer to someone, don't know their name, only know one thing about them. 'Overheads' however.... :(
 
Wilf said:
'The Indian' doesn't sound great, though if you wanted to be charitable there's always a difficulty when you have to refer to someone, don't know their name, only know one thing about them. 'Overheads' however.... :(
Click to expand...
You wouldn't refer to a person as "the disabled" or "the gay" or "the Jew" etc, but yeah it's eye-brow raising terminology rather than racist (and firky explained that he used that as a vehicle to demonstrate how strong descriptors can be devalued when applied inappropriately) and I suppose "the secondee" or similar would have been preferable.

Manter I know you're tired and abroad I think at the moment? Possibly better to mull it over and come back to it later if you want to discuss it. He's not bullying you, you know. Just calling it as he sees it.
 
It's never helpful to list someone's errors from a series of posts (which we can't actually see without searching for them and finding their context) and make it into a big judgment of their character. A big PUBLIC judgment. The only people who'd be able to withstand that sort of personal attack would be arrogant bastards who are probably, even then, would be pretending not to be hurt.

Disagree with the term "the Indian" if you like, but do you really think that means Manter is a secret racist? Based on that alone? Nothing else she's said hints at that at all. She refers to her BF as The Northerner all the time so is probably used to that phrasing, not realising can the Indian can sound a bit dehumanising.
 
Can't be arsed to read this thread, but as a half-Indian and being olive-skinned, I'm more often thought of as Indian (and also "Paki") whilst people conveniently forget that I'm also half British. If I was around when Manter had referred to "the Indian", I would have pointed out to her that I didn't think it was acceptable. However, I do not think Manter is racist. She's just had a little fuck-up with using (or rather not using) the correct terminology. She's been pulled on it, hopefully she understands it and will learn from it, and hopefully that will be the end of the matter.

Don't think you should let this put you off posting on here Manter. Stick around :)

Just my POV (as half Asian). Don't give a shit whether people agree with it or not
 
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