Has the Queen died?

[Argonia]

Pay 4 quid to weed someone else's 20'000 acres

Oh dear. Poor old samurai sword cake cutting Eva Braun doesn't realise she's having her extensive lands nationalised and redistributed to civilised, kind and decent people, some of whom will be terribly busy growing hemp and cannabis and reading every word Gerrard Winstanley wrote. In the good old American Revolution against poor old Lord North and the madness of King George it was made mandatory for those who grew hemp to stay in the industry. Poor old bat. She must be soiling her Union Jack boxer shorts over there in the Berghof in the Berchtesgarden holed up in her Fuhrerbunker gazing longingly at those cyanide pills while the Red Army under Zhukova surge and storm into Berlin looking at dear old Adolf's terribly average little doodles and paintings of provincial street scenes -his degenerate Entartete Kuinst.

Did she get round to watching all those Downfall memes? Her trusted lieutenant Goebbels and his six sprogs has just slipped away from his one day post as Emperor and Eva is wondering why on earth Adolf had to put a Russian roulette bullet into his skull like wonderful old Kurt Cobain? Suddenly those glorious victories in the Falklands and Iraq and Afghanistan are drfitning away from her incredible memory and everything is becoming as blurry and confusing as a really weird acid trip under the supervision of David Nutt, Robin Carhartt-Harris and Rosalind Watts.

The walls are starting to melt and she is talking in tongues to the ghosts of Hunter S Thompson and John Lennon and seeing glimpses of the Ferryman Charon at the gates of Hades wondering if she will make it to the Elysian Fields as the police and the Red Army finally close in. Any minute now those cuffs will be on and poor old Julian Assange will be bundled out of the Ecudaroian embassy into the van. At the trial will she be so busy trying to work out Adolf and her's total carbon footprint from all those jolly little jaunts to see Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson's racist 'picannines' in her Imperium that she has not a single further word to say for herself?

And what is that cult of worshippers of Adolf who think he was God in Vanuatu going to make of seeing their glorious Empress defrocked and naked while the barristers cross-examine her and the poor old judges have to listen to the silence that comes out of her mouth - as silent as Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring" or John Cage's music. Not a single little murmur or a single little rancid fart.

 

[Chilli.s]

That's a bit sharp, getting people to weed the richest persons garden for a small fee. Another world.

 

[Argonia]

Time to brew up my samovar and have cup of tea two and hot cross bun two of the day. I get a Daily Fail pop up on the computer which tells me daily updates about the drunken Cavaliers and what fun they are having and I am smiling with amuseument as they slide away into the history books at an exponential pace never to darken the doors of this country again. Little do they realise what on earth is about to hit them all. If only any of them had read a word of a book in their little lives but they were too busy gazing in their looking glasses like Alice and failing to read the myth of Narcissus and Echo and or Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse masturbating at the sight of all their military uniforms and little medals and laughing as soldier after soldier did their bidding and lost their lives. The one I feel most sorry is poor old Prince George who must have bullied and stolen all the other kids' train sets in the nursery or the poor old sprog Lillibet being born just on the cusp of Eva Braun's trial or suicide. That's like saddling your child with the name Cunt and then expecting them to get on with their life. What a Fellini Satyricon farce. Thanks Emperor Nero.

 

[Argonia]

Just got offered sex in a hotel room at Facebook but fobbed her offf by telling her I only have sex with my wife. Are we in the Republic suddenly rather intriguing to our many frends around the world? As popular with the ladies as Prince Andrew used to be with his 1000 notches in his bedpost?

 

[Argonia]

Wondering if poor old Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson will be bunking with a terrorist in Belmarsh if found guilty in his trial by an independent judiciary. I am sure he can explain at great length what he meant by calling burqas 'letterboxes' in his Churchillian rhetoric and why he said "nanny is taking away our toys" after Dunblane. Hope he's busy right now watching good old Ronnie Barker in "Porridge" to get himself ready. What fun. Or maybe he will be bunking with a paedophile or a bank robber or a hit and run driver or a murderer or Prince Andrew or George W Bush or Anthony Charles Lynton Blair? What delicious fun. He'll look such a pretty picture in his little fascist flag United Jack boxer shorts farting away like Churchill after yet anohter massive meal of quails, duck eggs, camembert, oysters, lobsters, fruit, cheese and crackers all washed down with 145,002,183 cans of refreshing Tennent's Super. Poor old Alexander the Great.

Alexander the Great - Google Search

 

[Argonia]

That's a bit sharp, getting people to weed the richest persons garden for a small fee. Another world.

A wonderful 3.21 units per hour of Tyrant Coin to clean up her excrement and piss with a little bogbrush in a commode made of King Midas gold while obese and crack cocaine smoking servants peer through the glass and roar with laugher. What fun. I'm sure Eva Braun will have the volunteers rushing to her banner in their billions.

 

[Argonia]

Did Emperor Philip Caligula Hitler ever try to make his horse his consul or declare war on the god Neptune? Or have sex with his sisters at lavish banquets? And why on earth didn't he only rule for only four years? What were the Praetorian Guard up to? Or did he make senators fight as gladiators and prostitute their wives like Nero?

Caligula: murderous and depraved, or a victim of history? Plus four big questions about his reign answered

The story of Caligula has long been about the corruption of absolute power, murderous madness and sexual perversion, but historian and author Dr Philip Matyszak reveals how the Roman emperor’s reputation is far more seductive than the mundane reality

www.historyextra.com

Emperor Caligula - Google Search

 

[Pickman's model]

Oh dear. Poor old samurai sword cake cutting Eva Braun doesn't realise she's having her extensive lands nationalised and redistributed to civilised, kind and decent people, some of whom will be terribly busy growing hemp and cannabis and reading every word Gerrard Winstanley wrote. In the good old American Revolution against poor old Lord North and the madness of King George it was made mandatory for those who grew hemp to stay in the industry. Poor old bat. She must be soiling her Union Jack boxer shorts over there in the Berghof in the Berchtesgarden holed up in her Fuhrerbunker gazing longingly at those cyanide pills while the Red Army under Zhukova surge and storm into Berlin looking at dear old Adolf's terribly average little doodles and paintings of provincial street scenes -his degenerate Entartete Kuinst. Did she get round to watching all those Downfall memes? Her trusted lieutenant Goebbels and his six sprogs has just slipped away from his one day post as Emperor and Eva is wondering why on earth Adolf had to put a Russian roulette bullet into his skull like wonderful old Kurt Cobain? Suddenly those glorious victories in the Falklands and Iraq and Afghanistan are drfitning away from her incredible memory and everything is becoming as blurry and confusing as a really weird acid trip under the supervision of David Nutt, Robin Carhartt-Harris and Rosalind Watts. The walls are starting to melt and she is talking in tongues to the ghosts of Hunter S Thompson and John Lennon and seeing glimpses of the Ferryman Charon at the gates of Hades wondering if she will make it to the Elysian Fields as the police and the Red Army finally close in. Any minute now those cuffs will be on and poor old Julian Assange will be bundled out of the Ecudaroian embassy into the van. At the trial will she be so busy trying to work out Adolf and her's total carbon footprint from all those jolly little jaunts to see Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson's racist 'picannines' in her Imperium that she has not a single further word to say for herself? And what is that cult of worshippers of Adolf who think he was God in Vanuatu going to make of seeing their glorious Empress defrocked and naked while the barristers cross-examine her and the poor old judges have to listen to the silence that comes out of her mouth - as silent as Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring" or John Cage's music. Not a single little murmur or a single little rancid fart.

Pls could you divide your posts into paragraphs for ease of reading?

 

[Argonia]

Pls could you divide your posts into paragraphs for ease of reading?

I'll do my best.

 

[Argonia]

Now the Emperor is toast I took the trouble last night to download a free sample on my Kindle of a biography of him. One of his brilliant observations that stood out for me - as truly brillaint as describing the Chinese as 'slitty eyed' was that "young people are as ignorant as ever".What an incredible observation from a John Nash beautiful mind. What did poor old Fiona Bruce do to cleanse her soul after she encountered his racism and misogyny and homophobia? How do the poor old 800 charities he was head of feel now that Hitler has gone down the trapdoor? How did poor old Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala cope with coming across Hitler?

Prince Philip's gaffes from decades on royal duty

After the Duke of Edinburgh steps down from duties, we take a look back at some of the infamous remarks he has made while in the public eye.

www.bbc.co.uk

I did his 'Duke of Edinburgh Award' scheme (instead of dreadfuil military Combined Cadet Force where people were being prepared to be the next cannon fodder in the Emperor's latest crusade) at school at hated every nano-second of it with a violent, raging, seething surging, burning passion. We were packed off to camp in the woods. It rained and there was a leak in the tent. We were packed in like sardines or like Ernest Shackleton.

My mate Pixie Malone was there making me laugh as usual and a guy called Rod Sandys a relation of Churchill who had a massive box in the tent filled with drugs, pills, poppers, potions and tinctures. Poor old Sandys wrote a book about a Utopia based on Thomas More but got into gambling and snorted more coke than Daniella Westbrook and Angus Deayton and died in a hotel room in China of a heart attack if I remember rightly. I remember some fuckwit ar school said to me "are you an intellectual?" when I had my copy of Utopia to take the piss.

Bet that fuckbrained moron is busy counting his Tyrant Coin and gambling it and wanking offf about having sex with Camilla our Queen of Hearts and not realising that his Antichrist United Kingdom is collapsing into Trotsky's hungry and ravenous dustbin of history. On my briefcase at school I had a sticker of Nelson Mandela and that drew scorn from my racist opponents who were all probably terribly busy preparing to be members of the Apartheid supporting Tory Monday Club. And as a young Communist I made posters for the Communist candidate Marc Blanco in the school election and he told me off for stamping on his campaign. The poor bloke was recently slung out of a window and quite possibly murdered by Pete Doherty's mates but I don't think hopeless old Plod got on the case. I phoned his poor mother and spoke to her when I lived for a brief period in Cambridge.

 

[BillRiver]

Argonia

if you don't mind me asking how well are you sleeping at the moment?

Normal (for you) amounts or ... ?

And are you eating and drinking as is usual for you?

 

[Argonia]

Argonia

if you don't mind me asking how well are you sleeping at the moment?

Normal (for you) amounts or ... ?

And are you eating and drinking as is usual for you?

Thanks for asking. Bit all over the shop. Bit like Margaret Hilda Thatcher in the dreadful 1980s getttng two hours sleep a night. Mum tells me to do my sleep hygiene and slow down in the evenings. Night times are hard work because like libertarian American comedian Doug Stanhope the carnival starts and thoughts and ideas bubble up and songs are sung. Used to have David Baddilel levels of insomina and be up all night thinking. Poor old Stanhope can't get a night's sleep without being as drunk as Churchill and his wife Clementine. just felt suddenly exhausted and had a nice afternoon nap before reading my study of the pure evil of "Mein Kampf" and finally engaging with Churchill.

The ghastly old drunken imperialist who ate fine dinners and was drunk all the time isn't on my side of the fence - I'm with Attlee and Bevan - but he had one of the most extraoridnary minds in human history and if we hadn't been an island we would probbaly have gone the way of poor old France with their hopeless Maginot Line outflanked bye eviil Corporal Hitler's brutal Blitzkreig war machine in the Ardennes forest (building on the Sclieffen Plan in the First World War) and Harry Hewitt's swastika flag would have flown over London and Winston would have been interned in an Aushwitz or Bergen Belsen and Treblinka and gassed with Zyklon B.

So finally good just to potter around and do my thing and read and write and study in peace and quiet. My grandfather Ian Cuffe who recently died aged 102 fought in the Navy against Nazism and I am so glad he survived and went into the new technology of radar. He commanded me to get political and "get the flags and banners out" so I got very political. And my grandmother Olive 'Pat' enjoyed her war driving around Italian POWs from ghastly old Benito Mussolini's crap war machine where morale was low and nobdoy wanted to do any fighting.

As for food I am fine. Get my daily supplies in Tyrant Coin from Sainsburys and have stocked up with plenty of pasta and rice in case of a sudden Weimar Republic hyperinflation and it starts to get hard to get supplies in the shops with a collapsing Tyrant Coin. My mum hasn't listened to my commandment to stock up and so I might have to try to barter my way on a train from Woking to Petersifled and give her some pasta as I would be most displeased to have her starve to death. So sitting pretty over here in my council flat and enjoying watching the Titanic go down after 43 years of blood, sweat, toil and tears as Churchill might have put it.

hyperinflations - Google Search

 

[BillRiver]

Glad to hear that you had a nap Argonia, hope you get some more sleep soon.

I don't need to tell you, Margaret Thatcher is not a good role model!

You sound like a super interesting person. I hope you continue to take care of your good self

 

[Argonia]

Glad to hear that you had a nap Argonia, hope you get some more sleep soon.

I don't need to tell you, Margaret Thatcher is not a good role model!

You sound like a super interesting person. I hope you continue to take care of your good self

I certainly don't admire Margaret. Don't want to be sexist - admire the fact she made it in a man's world but if she had stayed as a provincial housewife in Grantham cooking meals for poor old golf playing drunken Dennis and mowing the lawn and looking after her sprogs and getting eight hours of proper sleep a night we wouldn't be in quite such a mess as we are now. And all those poor soldiers might not have died in Goose Green once she locked horns with Galtieri in Argentina. What passes for Conservatism these days is a terribly useless little joke and poor old drunken Winston would be raging and screaming at them in private rooms like he did with poor old muddled up Stanley Baldwin and confused but generally kind Neville Chamberlain who couldn't cope with evil Corporal Hitler at Muncih and his brutal annexation of the Sudetenland and his early sketches for his Blitzkrieg destruction using the evil but brillaint Enigma Machine that wonderful (and utterly abused) Alan Turng and Harry Golombek at the other chess and maths geniuses cracked at Bletchley. of the poor old ill prepared Polish cavalry.

 

[Pickman's model]

Glad to hear that you had a nap Argonia, hope you get some more sleep soon.

I don't need to tell you, Margaret Thatcher is not a good role model!

You sound like a super interesting person. I hope you continue to take care of your good self

She is an excellent role model if you want to know what not to do

 

[Argonia]

Trying desperately to slow down for the night but the brain is surging like a Japanese Shinkansen. It's like trying to tame a wild horse racing away in all directions. When I studied in Japan I got a 'seishinjuhachikippu' which was a ticket for slow trains from Fukuoka to Tokyo. Never actually got to ride a Shinkansen. Then I went on another trip with my lovely gilfiriend Noriko Kimoto and listened to her talk to the guys in the cars who picked us up - none of whom turned out to be Fred West the predator picking up poor old Martin Amis's cousin Lucy Partington and all the rest.

My magic mushroom trip in Tokyo in New Year's Eve on 1999/2000 was awesome. I ended up in a dive bar in Shinjuku and talked to a Russian woman in Japanese who was initially fascinated by me but then suddenly hated me. Then I went for a walk round the city like a flaneur and looked at everything in amazement and ended up at a Zen Buddhist shrine where people were wearing kimonos. Heaven knows how I made it back to my hotel.

Even better than my trips in Amsterdam and at Oxford Univeristy. Worst one was when my girlfriend at Oxford Carol had gone to Manchester and I tripped alone and thought I had died but I got back to college and my friend Jane who was the best English Lit student but who they gave a 2:1 to) and Hadley Freeman of the Guardian helped me calm down and relax and come back from the brink. Hadley gave me a gig at the Cherwell student newspaper writing film and book reviewsand editing the May Anthologies of verse and poetry with a nice guy called Chris Tryhorn who went into journalism but the bloody Grauniad didn't pick me up and give me a job which drove me mental.

They have fucked around with poor old Hadley and given her a crap gig writing boring articles about fashion and 1980s American films instead of making her editor. We're legalising here in the Republic. Churchill couldn'at have done a job on Adolf without cannabis and I couldn't have given birth to the Republic without melting my depressed mind with mushies and without a single MDMA jaunt in the club the End where I suddenly felt great empathy towards my fellow citizens instead of fear and an urgent need to dance to the music. I don't need drugs to keep sane now - I keep sane my doing my job of reading and writing and thinking but I needed them then and we need to legalise and above all educate that you don't need them but they can be useful.

We have a powerhose Republic to enjoy - can be a powerhouse of the Green Industrial Revoltuion to sort out climate change and peak oil. The Windosrs are simply in the way and need to be taken to their prison cells immeidately so the Shinkansen and French TGV of the Republic can rage and surge at a quadrillion miles an hour. All the geniuses of the Republic can't be held back and kept in chains in Plato's cave for a single nano-second longer. When on earth will it finally all be over?

 

[Yossarian]

Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.

You what?

 

[Pickman's model]

Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.

Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?

 

[BillRiver]

Trying desperately to slow down for the night but the brain is surging like a Japanese Shinkansen. It's like trying to tame a wild horse racing away in all directions.

Do you have access to any medications that might help you rest your mind a bit? Just for the night maybe?

I'm enjoying reading your posts, you are a very interesting person! So I don't want to silence you, but I am a bit concerned you might be in need of a rest to recharge somewhat.

 

[AmateurAgitator]

Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.

And that's the sort of comment posted by an utter prick.

 

[brogdale]

Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?

Wouldn’t it have been reasonable to expect the quality of trolling on here to improve over the last 15 months what with other activities curtailed/more time to spend perfecting their art etc.

Seems the opposite has occurred, if anything.

 

[Spanner]

Wouldn’t it have been reasonable to expect the quality of trolling on here to improve over the last 15 months what with other activities curtailed/more time to spend perfecting their art etc.

Seems the opposite has occurred, if anything.

And that's the sort of comment posted by an utter prick.

Does anyone except David Cameron groupies say chillax?

You all need to take a chill pill

 

[brogdale]

QED

 

[William of Walworth]

@All posts by Argonia :

I want some of what he's having!!

Maybe ....

 

[Pickman's model]

You all need to take a chill pill

You need to take an hcn pill

 

[Spanner]

You need to take an hcn pill

, Mr Bond.

 

[Spanner]

You need to take an hcn pill

are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?

 

[brogdale]

@All posts by Argonia :

I want some of what he's having!!

Maybe ....

A version of the old public bar quip I’ll have an half of what he’s on for the bloke who’d ended up supping in 2 ‘schools’.

 

[Pickman's model]

are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?

It'd improve your contributions here no end

 

[Raheem]

are you suggesting I should commit suicide, Pickman's model ?

I think it was stronger than a suggestion.