Has the Queen died?
- Thread starter brogdale
- Start date
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
Harry cannot by definition be a dominatrix
Raheem
Well-Known Member
"That's the last time I agree to hire an external trainer..."
Combustible
Well-Known Member
Plus I don't think Elon Musk's offspring are even eligible to play for England.
Raheem
Well-Known Member
Presumably, they'll be in defence for Mars.
Argonia
Happy go licky
Why on earth did Empress Caligula Rose West have two birthdays? Was she busy cutting cakes with her samurai swords again? And why isn't she wearing black robes in mourning for dear old Fred like Queen Victoria for Albert? And why was it that her incredibly long reign was a kind of new Elizabethan Age where all the Shakespeares and Ben Johnsons and Christopher Marlowes were forced into menial work cleaning toilets in a car park in Leicestershire on £2.17 an hour instead of getting their quills out and writing their plays? And why pn earth do the Royal family have 4.6 million followers at Twitter? What on earth do those 4.6 million de facto slaves think they are following?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
I am sure that Empress Caligula Rose West, who is a committed Christian and head of the good old state Church of England and has done a thorough study of the Bible in both Latin and Aramaic and the Vulgate and read every word Martin Luther ever wrote - particularly the 95 theses - has made a thorough study of the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah. I bet she is dutifully reading her King James Bible right now as she sips from her King Midas golden cup of camomile tea whilst red faced Charles urinates all over Camilla whilst dreaming of Diana and Dodi and poor old Al Fayed in the corner of the room and reflecting on its role in the development of Christian Socialism. I wonder -did Rose ever fuck her horses like Catherine the Great while good old Fred filmed her with his smartphone with one hand and wanked himself off with the other?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
I wonder - did good old Fred West bump off Diana and Dodi in Paris? Or was he entirely innocent? And how did good old Fred feel as he slipped off into the trapdoor and karked it for all the wonderful work he had done in his lifetime raping and pillaging the planet?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
We're all still in mourning aren't we. Crying hot streaks of tears for dear old Fred West. We in North Korea feel so sad our Kim Johg Un disappeared into the Einsteinian wormhole never to be seen again. Well done state broadcaster BBC for removing all the other interesting programmes and showing us endless and relentless footage of good old Kim Jong Un and his charming wife Dorothea McPartington Belkinghron with her lovely array of ghastly hats and her Imelda Marcos shoe collection and her truly gargantuan homemade DIY pornography collection. Bet she's very busy watching that great golden shower she had with Prince Andrew last night and the pair of them are roaring with laughter and looking down on all us minions and dogsbodies and proletarians and precariats and underclasses and working classes. What fun they're having over there in the truly glorious 'United Kingdom'. Isn't she happy and glorious? Long to reign over us? Sending herself victorious? Precisely how much crack cocaine has she smoked today? Or has Kate Middleton slipped her some crystal meth and amphetamine sulphate again?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
Was dear old Fred West worse than Hitler or just as bad? An interesting debate for the historians. I'm off to have another cup of tea and hot cross bun and brush up my Latin and Ancient Greek and German and French and Japanese and Russian and have some fun at last. Long live the REPUBLIC!
Argonia
Happy go licky
Prince Harry and Charles are trending at Twitter. Oh dear. Is the Heat finallly closing in? Are Holmes and Watson and Marple and Poirot and Maigret and Vicky McClure on the case? Can I hear the urgent sound of sirens and the cuffs going on? And how scrambled will their minds be when they are all sitting in their lttle tortoiseshell Y fronts and Union Jack boxer shorts farting away in custody being read their rights and awaiting their turn before the beak? How sweaty will Prince Andrew be?
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The 30 greatest literary detectives of all time: best literary detectives revealed
The best literary detectives revealed. 30 of the greatest literary detectives of all time - vote for your favourite.
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PR1Berske
Alligator in chains by the park gates.
Prince Harry and Charles are trending at Twitter. Oh dear. Is the Heat finallly closing in? Are Holmes and Watson and Marple and Poirot and Maigret and Vicky McClure on the case? Can I hear the urgent sound of sirens and the cuffs going on? And how scrambled will their minds be when they are all sitting in custody?
The 30 greatest literary detectives of all time: best literary detectives revealed
The best literary detectives revealed. 30 of the greatest literary detectives of all time - vote for your favourite.
No. Charles is reportedly finalising his plans for a slimmed down Family, excluding Archie from becoming a Prince.
brogdale
Coming to terms with late onset Anarchism
tbf "slimming down" the RF is something we can all get behind.
Argonia
Happy go licky
Poor old Charles. Did he actually read the Qur'an when he thoiught about converting or was he too busy saying "cuckoo cuckoo hello lovey little jubbies" to his chrsyanthemums and hydragenas and roses and lilacs and irises and sunflowers and calla lilies and gardenias? And what did they say back to him? Fuck off and die you absolute cunt?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
If we get them to that Jeremy Bentham Panopticon prison with 24 hour CCTV surveillance they can have the most abject rations going while they slop out in their little darkened cells. Microwaveable lasagna every niight made out of processed cheese and wet cardboard garnished with vomit and urine and detritus and garbage and rot and junk and muck and filth. So they know just how we all had to live.They can ask for salt and pepper or parmesan but the cold hearted guards on the door won't listen to a syllable they say. Time will meander on and on, hour after hour, as they have fascinating little conversations with themselves in solitary. Poor Charles will think he is still talking to flowers even though in his dark cell there won't be a single flower to look at. Then it'll be time for sleepy byes in the bed bunks and lights out for another Sisyphean night. Will they become annorexics and die? And who will mourn them? Who will visit their lonely and sad little unmarked graves and put flowers on them? And what happens now all the fascist flag worshippers like 'Sir' Keir Starmaggedon and 'Sir' Edward Davey are rushing off at a rapid velocity to the ports to try to emigrate to a shithole of a country in Latin America to try to evade their criminal trials?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
Poor little Queenie isn't keeping up. If she is she'll slip away like Josef Mengele to Argentina and evade justice. But the old fruit just isn't keeping up. Has she ever read a book in her life? Is she illitetrate like 1 in 5 people in Emperor Caligula Fred West's 'United Kingdom'? Poor old dear. The old bat. So busy worshipping the entirely evil Union Flag that she isn't following. What a John Nash beautiful mind the old bat has.
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Argonia
Happy go licky
What you having? I had three hot cross buns a two cups of tea. Bet Queen Rose West Sodom and Gomorrah looks down on me because she is such a committed Christian and spends all her life praying earnestly like Oliver Cromwell and the New Model Army and you should only eat hot cross buns at Easter. Might have another one in a minute for a laugh.
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not-bono-ever
meh
Rant
Argonia
Happy go licky
The world has jolly well been turned upside down. At last.
Ranters - Wikipedia
Roundhead - Wikipedia
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Argonia
Happy go licky
Come on Plod. Come on murderer of Jean Charles de Menezes Cressida Dick. Get on with it. Cuff her up. First copper to nab her gets a special little gold star, a certificate, a Timmy Mallett lunchbox, a VHS of Blockbusters with Bob Holness, a Peter the Rabbit toothbrush, a 1986 Mexico World Cup Pannini sticker book and a magnum of champagne and a place in the history books. First man or woman on the job will be the like the guy who nabbed Jeffrey Dahmer and peered into his fridge full of skulls. Or the poor old rozzer who first slapped the cuffs on wonderful old Peter Sutcliffe. Or has Plod fucked up yet again that they will let Jack the Ripper go again and the wonderful old 95 year old will kark it before she gets to that courtroom?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
Some listerning material for her whilst she waits in line for hour after hour to be called up for the judge like someone waiting intermiably in the queue at Argos for a small treadmill. How's her Latin doing? I got an A* at GCSE. Did a year of Greek was a mystery to me, had a textbook called Athenadze and a teacher called Mr.Oliver at the Grammar School - not the Royal Grammar School - in Guildford. Me and my mate Pixie Malone used to sit at the back of Greek lessons and just take the piss out of everything and have a right old laugh. Then we went on a nice school trip to Naples on Monarch Airlines which later folded to see Pompeii and Herculaneum and I spent my whole time taking photos of attractive women in the city rather than looking at that very curous city of Pompeii with all that pornography all over the walls. We looked at Vesuvius but luckily it wasn't active. Unlike my good friend from St.Anne's, Oxford Univeristy Rebecca Morelle who did Chemistry (I did Modern History with Peter Ghosh, Jean Dunbabin and Jill Lewis) the BBC Science Correspondent who got caught up in Mount Etna expldoing her lava all over the shop. We can have Ciceronian rhetoric in our new Parliament building in our new Republic.
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Argonia
Happy go licky
Nope. Eurovision null points for the police. They are sending their ghastly 'Forward Intelligence Team' with their awful little cameras and terrible fluorecent jackets and CCTV footage and Ivan the terrible bendy little telescopes and oscilloscopes and their ghastly old riot piolice bullies with truncheons out to the wrong place and are busy arresting youth climate activists at the Shell Museum in the anti-Shell demo rather than Her Majesty. Zero points for the dullards. Maybe they are all so busy being proud of the way they failed to police Sir James Saville, darling boy of the Windsors, that they are taking their eye off the ball again. How Emperor Phlip Fred West must have roared with laughter when he gave Saville the keys to Broadmoor and heard about all the riotous fun cigar smoking Saville got up to in his evil sweaty tracksuits, perspring away like Prince Andrew as he clambered over the bodies of children and raped them mercilessly. And what precisely was yacht enthusiast Sir Edward Heath up to in lifetime? Did he get inspired when he bowed down to Queen Rose West?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
If there is a sudden Weimar Republic hyperinflation of Tyrant Coin from too much silly fiddling by the Central Bank and too much drunken quantiative easing it'll finally be game over. Or will the United Nations finally step in and impose sanctions until Imelda Marcos has finally been cuffed by the filth and her three hundred trillion pairs of shoes are burnt in front of Buck House, Windsor, Sandringham and Balmoral by a baying and riotous crowd of cheering citizens? It will be a party like the Brixton and Toxteth riots of the 1980s and the good old Miner's Strike where poor old confused Margaret Hilda Thatcher only got 2 hours sleep a night and sent the cops to crush Scargill's miners rather than arrest Imelda? And was poor old confused Latin reading Enoch Powell concentrating when he blamed the poor old black immigrants for the crimes of Emperor Philip Adolf Hitler and his rivers of blood? And in his crepuscular last years did Emperor Hitler the very average painter and draughtsman and his charming dog-loving wife Eva spend their days reading the Marquis de Sade and Mein Kampf and masturbating each other while Prince Andrew peered through a gloryhole in the wall fiddling away with his terribly little John Thomas?
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Argonia
Happy go licky
Finally now that Hilter is dead (and any minute now Eva Braun will be slipping of he to trial or taking her cyanide meds) and the infant Republic is dozing merrily in her little cot with her Fisher Price toys dangling above her head and her first children's book by her side and a nice bottle of pasteurised milk in her belly I can crack on and read John Milton in peace. Starting on Paradise but looking forward to Areopagitica with alacrity.
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Chillax mate. That’s the sort of emotion which causes hospital visits.
Artaxerxes
Look out, he's got a gnu!
Pay 4 quid to weed someone else's 20'000 acres
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