Filth by name; thick by nature. A thread for banal police stupidity

[tim]

Inspector gets demoted to sergeant for selling his police issue trousers on-line for £4.00 because he needed to clear out his wardrobe. The USP was a that they were police issue. I can't imagine Morse doing this, although Frost might have been tempted.

Hertfordshire policeman demoted for selling his trousers

The officer is guilty of gross misconduct and his rank has been reduced following a police hearing.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[SpookyFrank]

Something something take down his particulars something something.

 

[Orang Utan]

When Did You Last See Your Trousers?

 

[Spymaster]

It's a gloriously unique event though.

The man got busted .......... for selling his trousers.

 

[xenon]

I know it’s in the manuals or whatever they learn at cop school. But when I used to write up interviews, it always annoyed me they would talk about people alighting from vehicles. on the offhand side or the nearside. Cue minutes of tedious discussion with a suspect didn’t know what they were on about. did you get out the driver side or the passenger side. Fucksake. also premise is not the singular of premises.

 

[xenon]

mind you, most of the suspects were thick as mince as well.

 

[SpookyFrank]

mind you, most of the suspects were thick as mince as well.

You were dealing with a biased sample though, namely the ones who got caught.

 

[a_chap]

I know it’s in the manuals or whatever they learn at cop school. But when I used to write up interviews, it always annoyed me they would talk about people alighting from vehicles. on the offhand side or the nearside. Cue minutes of tedious discussion with a suspect didn’t know what they were on about. did you get out the driver side or the passenger side. Fucksake. also premise is not the singular of premises.

The filth have got their own fucking language, haven't they. English, but a warped version of it.

When I started going out with the girl who I later married (34th wedding anniversary next week!) I remember first meeting her sister's boyfriend. I didn't know he was a copper until he opened his gob and instead of talking to me like a normal human being he started questioning me like a fucking copper

I took an instant dislike to him. I haven't had any reason to change that opinion since.

 

[ouirdeaux]

on the offhand side or the nearside.

I don't think I'm thick as mince. But I'm never sure which is which. And I'm sure that if I were told, I'd remember it for a while, and then forget again.

Hmm. Maybe I am thick as mince.

 

[comrade spurski]

Inspector gets demoted to sergeant for selling his police issue trousers on-line for £4.00 because he needed to clear out his wardrobe. The USP was a that they were police issue. I can't imagine Morse doing this, although Frost might have been tempted.

Hertfordshire policeman demoted for selling his trousers

The officer is guilty of gross misconduct and his rank has been reduced following a police hearing.

www.bbc.co.uk

Bizarre that he's got more punishment than any of those who failed in the Stephen Lawrence case ffs

 

[danski]

I don't think I'm thick as mince. But I'm never sure which is which. And I'm sure that if I were told, I'd remember it for a while, and then forget again.

Hmm. Maybe I am thick as mince.

They way I remember it is it’s in relation to the kerb. I suppose the idea, maybe, is to be clear what side of the vehicle they are referring to, regardless of ‘what-hand-drive’ it is.

 

[SpookyFrank]

They way I remember it is it’s in relation to the kerb. I suppose the idea, maybe, is to be clear what side of the vehicle they are referring to, regardless of ‘what-hand-drive’ it is.

I feel like 'left' and 'right' serves the exact same purpose without the need for ambiguous specialist terminology.

 

[quiet guy]

I feel like 'left' and 'right' serves the exact same purpose without the need for ambiguous specialist terminology.

Doesn't account for whether you are facing towards or away from the vehicle.

 

[Spymaster]

They way I remember it is it’s in relation to the kerb.

That’ll be because it IS in relation to the kerb.

 

[two sheds]

Bizarre that he's got more punishment than any of those who failed in the Stephen Lawrence case ffs

 

[Kevbad the Bad]

I expect someone at the cop shop noticed when he went to work in his undies.

 

[Spymaster]

Yes ... for selling trousers? You have to wonder whether it was actually for another reason, like not beating up a black person one time.

/comes out from under conspiracy theory rock

 

[danny la rouge]

I don't think I'm thick as mince. But I'm never sure which is which. And I'm sure that if I were told, I'd remember it for a while, and then forget again.

This. I have been told, but I can’t remember. I always say “driver’s side” or “passenger’s side”.

I had to get a tyre changed recently and I said “driver’s side, rear”. The guy said “so it’s rear ___side”, (using the bizarre terminology), but I didn’t want to agree in case he was taking about a different side to the one I was, so I just repeated myself.

 

[Gromit]

Wigan woman 'disgusted' by police caught watching Netflix at her home

Officers were seen on CCTV watching TV and lifting weights at Abbygail Lawton's home in Wigan.

www.bbc.co.uk

I don't actually have a problem with this if they did it in my home.

They were there for her safety. It's boring as fuck hanging around ages with nothing to do.
If they traveled with laptops to catch up on paperwork maybe but that would cost money.

I think she is just pissed they charged her.

 

[Silas Loom]

This. I have been told, but I can’t remember. I always say “driver’s side” or “passenger’s side”.

I had to get a tyre changed recently and I said “driver’s side, rear”. The guy said “so it’s rear ___side”, (using the bizarre terminology), but I didn’t want to agree in case he was taking about a different side to the one I was, so I just repeated myself.

I would be incapable of having a conversation about which of my tyres was offside without asking if the nearside tyre was interfering with play, and suggesting that VAR resolve the issue, irritating the poor sod at KwikFit to no good purpose, which is another good reason for them to talk like humans rather than cops.

 

[Sweet FA]

Nearside Is near the kerb.
Offside is the other one.

 

[danny la rouge]

Nearside Is near the kerb.
Offside is the other one.

Not near the driver?

 

[Serge Forward]

Did no one read the fucking Highway Code when learning to drive?

 

[Silas Loom]

 

[Silas Loom]

Only one reference. And it explains what nearside means in parentheses.

 

[Serge Forward]

Yeah, I meant the 1980 paper edition.

 

[xenon]

I don't think I'm thick as mince. But I'm never sure which is which. And I'm sure that if I were told, I'd remember it for a while, and then forget again.

Hmm. Maybe I am thick as mince.

Not knowing doesn't make you thick. Using needlessly obscure conversation in a rigid manner, then having to explain what you mean to your audience / interlocutors / interverwees when there are perfectly useable every day phrases is a bit dense though. Where else do you even hear alighting from a vehicle. Everyone just gets out of the car.

 

[belboid]

Yeah, I meant the 1980 paper edition.

paper??!! Not even a PDF, shocking.

 

[Silas Loom]

Yeah, I meant the 1980 paper edition.

I don’t know what edition I had in 1989 but if it used that terminology it didn’t do so in a context that needed to be learned.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Offside is the other one.

What if the goalie is behind you though? Huh?