Excuses for being late

[Orang Utan]

If you drive there's often no need to make up excuses.

Real excuses I've used:

There was a bus blocking the road which caused a tailback
There was a herd of cows on the A23 which caused a tailback
My starter motor jammed
There was an accident - used multiple times
The M25!

Oh, and sorry I'm late someone had wrapped my car in toilet paper.

I have a bike so traffic is less of an excuse. But I have been late often cos i was tired and it took me longer to get started and up those hills like an old banger in winter

 

[Orang Utan]

Mirtazapine.

Not going back on that!

 

[killer b]

I’ve already been through that process twice - two work capability assessments and waiting for a third.

They don’t buy it as we are open to the public so have to be there on time to open.
They won’t even let me stay later to make up the late minutes even though they have a system they call Flexi (far from it - they just want us to come in earlier than our contracted hours to open up - their fault for making contracted staff shifts start at the same time we open). I don’t mind staying late when I’m late as there is time to do some work while no one is there to interrupt you, so it gets taken out of my leave, which I’m not happy about.

If you come in early, can't you also finish early?

 

[Numbers]

I’ve already been through that process twice - two work capability assessments and waiting for a third.

They don’t buy it as we are open to the public so have to be there on time to open.
They won’t even let me stay later to make up the late minutes even though they have a system they call Flexi (far from it - they just want us to come in earlier than our contracted hours to open up - their fault for making contracted staff shifts start at the same time we open). I don’t mind staying late when I’m late as there is time to do some work while no one is there to interrupt you, so it gets taken out of my leave, which I’m not happy about.

That’s fuckin shite, take it out of your leave, wankers.

Work wise I don’t have an official start time so can never be late.

I’m always on time socially.

 

[Orang Utan]

There are only occasional genuine excuses for lateness. I find it's always the same people who are late for stuff, and that's usually because they are either disorganised, incompetent, self-centered, or some combination of those.

ADHD is a good reason for lateness, though I’d be in trouble for using it as an excuse, rightly or wrongly.


I’m often late but usually only for work. Was never late when I worked in schools as I had a good reason to be on time as no one else was going to be there to cover for me and I didn’t want to disappoint children who otherwise would have had to risk bullying in the playground if I didn’t open the library at 8am sharp.

 

[Orang Utan]

If you come in early, can't you also finish early?

LOL no, you just get it in lieu and have to book that time in advance. Not very flexi at all.

 

[Orang Utan]

Shit my pants on the way in, had to go home and change.... nobody will question it

They would. You’d get called into an attendance management meeting and asked about why you shit yersent so often

 

[killer b]

Just pretend your contracted hours start half an hour earlier than they actually do, then you'll arrive on time. That's more or less how I manage mrs B's lateness (but in reverse)

 

[Orang Utan]

Lateness is an interesting concept. I personally hate being late and get in a bit of a state if I'm late for anything work related.

The last time I was late for work was down to an out of control horse on a country lane. The horse dismounted it's rider and I had no phone signal to let the people know I wasn't going to arrive on time or get help. I had to stop and help the poor lass as she was in a bit of a mess and the horse wasn't having any of my horse whispering technique "Good horse, be a good boy now". Thankfully she got him under control but when I turned up 45 minutes late to the meeting covered in mud an smelling of horse everyone just thought it was funny.

I work with a couple of people who are always late and to be fair I just accept that they are going to be late but one scouser I work with was terrible for making up excuses that weren't plausible. The thing that pissed everyone off about her was we'd spend ages talking about her flooded kitchen or her sick dog episodes in a meeting that was already running late.

Culturally I think in this country we're quite accepting of lateness whereas in other cultures it's not as acceptable. Notably serious about this are the Swedes where the only thing more terrible than turning up late is actually turning up early.

I'd just apologise for being late and let that be it. People will decide individually how they feel about it no matter what drama you invent for your lateness.

If it's a constant work issue though Orang Utan I'd explain to them the difficulties you have and be up front about it which would be better than them nailing you down for your punctuality and ending up in performance management proceedings. .

I was once late cos I had to help herd some donkeys and ponies off an A road in SE London!

I’ve already spoken to them about ADHD and the traits of timeblindness and inveterate optimism about how long it takes me to get ready in the morning.
They’re not giving an inch on punctuality, and my union is curiously wimpish on this matter.

 

[Orang Utan]

Just pretend your contracted hours start half an hour earlier than they actually do, then you'll arrive on time. That's more or less how I manage mrs B's lateness (but in reverse)

You can’t pretend to yourself though

 

[killer b]

If your contracted hours started half an hour earlier, would you arrive on time? Maybe that's the adjustment you should ask for

 

[Orang Utan]

This. If you say stuff like this:


you'll just end up pissing people off. (I mean while these ^ things may be true, saying you're late because you didn't want to get out of bed, for example, will go down like a cup of cold sick.)

Why? I’d rather hear that than some nonsense about buses.

 

[Orang Utan]

If your contracted hours started half an hour earlier, would you arrive on time? Maybe that's the adjustment you should ask for

Probably not!! But also it would mean I would have to finish early, before closing

 

[killer b]

I think it's reasonable if you're responsible for opening a building that has advertised opening hours for your employer to expect you to open on time tbh, but I also think it's wild that your hours don't start half an hour before the building opens if you're expected to open up too.

 

[Orang Utan]

I can't stand lateness. It's just rude; like saying to someone their time isn't valuable. I've been known to lock habitual latecomers out of meetings at one minute past the due start time, and, in my private life, leave on time notwithstanding that means others e.g. miss a lift (though that's only to regular offenders, and usually with a warning). People soon get the message.

No exceptions made for people who just can’t help it?

 

[Orang Utan]

That's just weakness of character.

Fucking hell, did you go to boarding school or something? You sound like Rhodes Boyson

 

[bellaozzydog]

There are only occasional genuine excuses for lateness. I find it's always the same people who are late for stuff, and that's usually because they are either disorganised, incompetent, self-centered, or some combination of those.

 

[Athos]

No exceptions made for people who just can’t help it?

No. Because nobody really can't help it. ETA: Not being glib, and I know 'time blindness' can be a symptom of ADHD, but if you're making the same journey every day, yet always late, there's things you can do. And you've already said that you can be punctual; as you did it other jobs.

 

[Orang Utan]

Just pretend your contracted hours start half an hour earlier than they actually do, then you'll arrive on time. That's more or less how I manage mrs B's lateness (but in reverse)

That would been getting up half an hour earlier than I need to though

 

[Sue]

Why? I’d rather hear that than some nonsense about buses.

Cos half your colleagues probably didn’t want to get out of bed either but did and got to work on time to boot. So yes, they'd probably feel less like you were taking the piss if you did go on about late buses or whatever.

 

[killer b]

That would been getting up half an hour earlier than I need to though

it sounds like you're getting up half an hour later than you need to at the moment

 

[Orang Utan]

Cos half your colleagues probably didn’t want to get out of bed either but did and got to work on time to boot. So yes, they'd probably feel less like you were taking the piss if you did go on about late buses or whatever.

I don’t agree. But I know my colleagues.
They know I have ADHD and ride a bike in, so are more forgiving of my lateness as I pitch in and work hard.

 

[Orang Utan]

it sounds like you're getting up half an hour later than you need to at the moment

Not really. I need to try and not get distracted in the two hours I already have to get out of bed and into work.
One thing I am stubborn about is getting up at the same time every day, and if weather or traffic makes me late, then so be it. Management think I should make allowances for adverse conditions and for me to get public transport on bad weather days that might slow me down, but fuck that.

 

[ElizabethofYork]

They won’t even let me stay later to make up the late minutes even though they have a system they call Flexi (far from it - they just want us to come in earlier than our contracted hours to open up - their fault for making contracted staff shifts start at the same time we open). I don’t mind staying late when I’m late as there is time to do some work while no one is there to interrupt you, so it gets taken out of my leave, which I’m not happy about.

That's really stupid. Your official start time should be 15 or 30 minutes before opening time.

 

[killer b]

I guess they want the building you're responsible for opening open at the advertised time is all. Asking for necessary adjustments for your medical conditions and the like is fine, but it doesn't seem likely that any such adjustments would allow flexibility in the opening hours of a public-facing council service. In the long run, I don't think regular lateness like that is really going to fly.

 

[OneStrike]

The flat is full of empty bottles, I suspect I am drunk.

 

[Athos]

I guess they want the building you're responsible for opening open at the advertised time is all. Asking for necessary adjustments for your medical conditions and the like is fine, but it doesn't seem likely that any such adjustments would allow flexibility in the opening hours of a public-facing council service. In the long run, I don't think regular lateness like that is really going to fly.

There's two issues really.

The first is expecting someone to start working before their official start time; that's not on - I'd be pushing to leave early, or that it's reflected in pay. A fixed and regular thing like that isn't what a flexi hours scheme is for.

Secondly, when a start time is set in a public-facing role like that, then you're right that an employer won't tolerate persistent lateness.

 

[bluescreen]

I'm sorry that this is a real problem for you. Useless for me to offer advice.
But I couldn't help being reminded of the running gag in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, collected here:

LeonardRossiter.com: Reggie Online - Reginald Perrin's train excuses

 

[friedaweed]

I was once late cos I had to help herd some donkeys and ponies off an A road in SE London!

I’ve already spoken to them about ADHD and the traits of timeblindness and inveterate optimism about how long it takes me to get ready in the morning.
They’re not giving an inch on punctuality, and my union is curiously wimpish on this matter.

I'm sorry to hear that mate and that you've been through process twice already. The stress of that can make you even more manic and stressed. Worrying about being late wont help your mind set.

On a more practical note is there anything you could do to shorten your journey time like seeing if you can get an electric bike through the LA's Cycle to work scheme?

They would. You’d get called into an attendance management meeting and asked about why you shit yersent so often

IBS. Got someone at work who suffers from it and they get a lot of grace.

 

[friedaweed]

It's quite literally horse shit. I love the detail.

Covid is of course a go-to.

It wasn't horse shit it was horse sweat I stank of. Once the beast had calmed down I was treated to a head rub and a snot kiss at the riders request so I could see he was usually "A good horsey".

It was when one of my colleagues told me I smelt like Trigger I realised it wasn't Pecksniffs I had on.