Change a movie title by one letter to create an entirely different film

[hitmouse]

Hen: Spike Jonze film exploring technological alienation through the story of Joaquin Phoenix developing an increasingly close emotional bond with a chicken. Features the voice of Scarlett Johansen making a variety of squawking and clucking sounds.

 

[hitmouse]

Ket Carter - Michael Caine goes to Newcastle and takes a lot of tranquilizers.

The Byrds - Hitchcock's classic adaptation of du Maurier's tale of a small town terrorised by a sinister jangly folk-rock band.

Pear and Loathing in Las Vegas - a thinly-fictionalised version of Hunter S Thompson sets out to cover the Mint 500 motorcycle race, but then he drinks too much Kopparberg and has to go for a lie down.
or alternatively:
Bear and Loathing in Las Vegas - a large ursine mammal performs tricks in a circus on the Strip, and doesn't like it very much.

Mime Bandits - another Terry Gilliam classic, telling the story of a group of pickpockets who distract their victims by pretending to be trapped in an invisible box or something and then very quietly nick their wallets.

 

[hitmouse]

The Straight Tory - a Conservative MP drives around in a tractor looking for people to engage in heterosexual intercourse with.

 

[JimW]

How To Train Your Drag One - RuPaul offers parenting tips on the best way to bring up your most fabulous offspring.

 

[stdP]

The Grand Budapest Hovel - Heartwarmingly mawkish makeover drama. Waking up after a two-month binge on meths, an impoverished Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen vows to bring dignity and leopardskin ruffles to the Hungarian homeless.

 

[deeyo]

Local Heron: The tranquility of the local pond is shattered when a new heron appears and cultures clash.

lo cal heron - 'the nutrition will not be televised' -documentary bout gil scotts slighly less well known cousin. and his lifelong struggle to keep the perfect weight to height ratio.

 

[porp]

Five Etsy Pieces

Jack Nicholson showcases a mixture of inspired craft and derivative tat

 

[DaveCinzano]

Five Etsy Pieces

Jack Nicholson showcases a mixture of inspired craft and derivative tat

His $10 ‘lucky dip’ parcels are particularly popular: “You gotta BIG surprise comin' to you, pls leave feedback”

 

[UrbaneFox]

The Missouri Breads

Montana badlands baker, Pride Warburton, is a self-made millionaire. He has transformed his vast and rugged land into a thriving market for steam-baked, partially cooked wheat bread.

But then comes a gang of crustlers (Jack Nicholson, Harry Dean Stanton and Randy Quaid) with kitchen-tested, artisan recipes with longer fermentation times, and step-by-step tutorials, giving the locals the confidence to bake and cook from scratch.

What follows is a series of complex, brutal, savage, bread-based murders that no-one ever thought possible.

 

[isvicthere?]

Chitty chitty gangbang

Shameless porn remake of children's classic.

 

[Favelado]

Apocalypse Nowt.

Thermonuclear war comes to Yorkshire, but is shrugged off by unconcerned locals.

 

[Riklet]

Point Bread

A gang of master bakers carry out secret diamond robberies, before hiding the jewels baked in baguettes. A young police agent is hired and trained in master baking in order to infiltrate the operation and work out where the (stale) baguettes have been stored.

 

[BigMoaner]

Drainspotting

 

[BigMoaner]

Stephen King's Tit

 

[DaveCinzano]

Stephen King's Tit

Pretty sure that innumerable TV and film producers gave suckled that dry already

 

[billy_bob]

Black Klinsman

Poor-taste sports comedy starring Martin Lawrence in multiple roles.

(I know, I've cheated by one letter)

 

[cyril_smear]

The Modfather {The Godfather}

It is the late 1980s, and across the length and breadth of Britain dozens of men and women in their twenties discover that they are in fact the offspring of an irresponsible scooter-riding follower of a 1960s fashion conscious youth trend.

Stylised “ Quaraphenia” for the American market

 

[krtek a houby]

"Wank" Oscar baiting indulgence concerning the making of Citizen Kane. Anticlimactic.

 

[UrbaneFox]

On The Paterfront

Tortured Prince of the Realm, Charlie, could have been a contender for the prize title, but for his domineering, critical father, who sold him to one of Scotland's toughest prep schools, and his indestructible Mater.

Crushed by his disastrous marriage, battling sons, useless brother(s) and complete lack of any purpose whatsoever, his love for his horse forces him to testify against his gang-ridden upper crust empire.

 

[hitmouse]

The Mangy Saints of Newark - much-anticipated Sopranos prequel, telling the story of some extremely scruffy Italian-Americans in 1960s New Jersey.

 

[hitmouse]

Sorry to... But her? You? - Lakeith Stanfield stars as a call centre employee whose life is turned upside down when he learns that his partner is cheating on him with his best friend while in the middle of a routine sales call.

Or alternatively:
Lorry to Bother You - Boots Riley's directorial debut, a sci-fi comedy based around a sinister company bent on creating a race of half-human, half-lorry creatures.

 

[hitmouse]

Evil Dean - Bruce Campbell and friends are stalked through the woods by a malevolent senior academic.

 

[hitmouse]

The Texas Chair Saw Massacre - not-particularly-scary horror in which Leatherface runs amuck and carves up a tremendous amount of furniture.

 

[hitmouse]

Kevin and Merry Go Large - deeply confusing comedy following the adventures of one sulky teenager and one hobbit as they explore Ibiza together.

 

[UrbaneFox]

She's Gotta Shave It

Nola Darling is a young, attractive New Yorker, juggling three suitors. Her carefree, sexually liberated life comes crashing down when her three boyfriends meet and compare notes.

Sponsored by Veet Bikini Wax Strips

 

[hitmouse]

A Day at the Raves - the Marx Brothers have a proper massive one.

 

[DaveCinzano]

A Day at the Raves - the Marx Brothers have a proper massive one.

Great buncha lads - Grouch-E, Harp-E, Chic-E and even Zepp-E and Gumm-E

 

[stdP]

Bill and Ted Fake the Music - Saviours of the universe "Bill" S. Morvan and "Ted" Theodore Pilatus are demonised and the future of the planet is cast in to doubt when it's revealed that they didn't actually sing their own humanity-saving anthems.

The Wages of Year - Desperate workers in a remote oil field in South America struggle to complete their tax returns accurately due to a poorly documented discretionary bonus payment from a nitroglycerin shipment.

Knives Cut - Self-explanatory whodunnit where it's revealed that cutting utensils used in a stabbing motion are able to stab and cut things.

The Big Sheep - Morally dubious shepherd Philip Marlewe struggles to protect his prize ram Rutledge from a sinister conspiracy.

 

[Orang Utan]

Let The Tight One In - a serial round-avoider attempts to access a festival without paying

 

[hitmouse]

Blue Eel Vet: Kyle MacLachlan stars as the innocent veterinarian drawn into the seedy underbelly of small-town American life after he begins to investigate the strangely discoloured wildlife appearing in local rivers and ponds.