Cameron caption time!

[teqniq]

See? They had these tentacles and things. They made me do it.

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

"Second runner-up in the 'Air-Bowling' competition"

 

[audiotech]

'I was having my run of the mill, Wednesday, nine o'clock wank, when Samantha walked into the room, early from selling her pins. I told her that there are fourteen members of the Russian secret police, positioned around the room, disguised as wallpaper, with guns pointing at my head, who have ordered me to finger my private parts continually for the next hour, otherwise they will shoot me!'

Adapted from Peter Cook, as 'Clive'.

 

[Gingerman]

Nick :What is best in life Dave?
Dave : To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women Nick.

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

"When the hairstylist leans over to blow-dry my hair, I grab her butt, like this!"

 

[frogwoman]

"Wouldn't you agree, Nick. Murder feels so damn good, to feel your hands on their throat...to feel the life squeezed out of them, to hear their last terrified screams..."
"Er...Yes. Yes I would. Well, I didn't feel that way before but we've all got to make compromises"

 

[sleaterkinney]

They looked like they had lost it today, completely unconvincing. Clegg just looks like he wants it to stop.

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

"The test audience was not impressed with the new Madame Tussaud's exhibit"

 

[frogwoman]

"An unexpected voltage of 300 volts was added to the test subjects in the experiment, with the resulting effect shown here in figure 1. While the bonds of the two elements were somewhat weakened, incredibly this produced no lasting effect. This experiment was part of a series of trials designed to test the breaking point of the bonds between Libdemonium and Torium particles. Thus far, we have been unable to do so, which is a highly negative outcome since these two elements' coalescence has caused highly negative reactions, both to the control group (shown in figure 1) and to everyone else in the country"

 

[rekil]

"I like big butts and I can not lie....something something dooby do"

 

[Nylock]

"...Remember people, when you are about to buttfuck the electorate, try and stabilize them with this hold first..."

 

[DJ Squelch]

Nick Clegg & David Cameron visit new invisible pottery wheel factory.

 

[frogwoman]

"The Tory party's official voodoo shaman began his ceremony designed to re-animate the corpses of the undead to create an army of Tories, which will boost the fortune of his party and only add to Britain's austerity woes. Standing next to him is the first reanimated corpse"

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

"My God, Nick: I used to just LOVE the New York Dolls!"

 

[Wilf]

Bloke on the left with his arms folded: "fuck, if they keep still I actually could get them both with one bullet"

 

[fadrats]

"So I showed Rebekah Brooks how to keep her head up"

 

[ViolentPanda]

"So I showed Rebekah Brooks how to keep her head up"

Shouldn't that be "So Rebekah Brooks showed me how to keep my head up while licking her"?

 

[past caring]

Oh shit, it's catching.

 

[SaskiaJayne]

Correct, It is an unequal partnership, its always Nick who has to give me the blowjob, I hold his head like this so he has to swallow...

 

[Jeff Robinson]

Crowd unimpressed at punch and judy show after puppetmaster removes hands from judy's arse.

 

[fadrats]

Shouldn't that be "So Rebekah Brooks showed me how to keep my head up while licking her"?

Nah, I reckon... "So while Rebekah showed me the benefits of deep throat, as I licked her, I showed her the thrill of asphyxiation - after practising on millions it's something I've got rather good at...

 

[Idris2002]

"The Tory party's official voodoo shaman began his ceremony designed to re-animate the corpses of the undead to create an army of Tories, which will boost the fortune of his party and only add to Britain's austerity woes. Standing next to him is the first reanimated corpse"

This is offensive to Shamans, who are ANGRY at being compared to Darth Dave:

 

[JHE]

This is offensive to Shamans, who are ANGRY at being compared to Darth Dave:

Are they Bullingdon boys on a night out? "Bully! Bully! Bully!"

 

[stavros]

"Just when I t'ought I was out, they pull me back in...."

 

[elbows]

'So you grab the tight arse of austerity like so, watch the rapid growth, and then ooh share that burden, share it real good. Just make sure to practice the Quantitive Easing method carefully to avoid any unwanted inflation'.

 

[KeeperofDragons]

"By the power of Greyskull, I summon the undead spirit of Milton Friedman and unleash his dark powers upon the land."

PMSL

 

[ViolentPanda]

(in homage to detective-boy)

"So I threw a few fucks up the cunt"

 

[frogwoman]

The Kunt and the Gang tribute act didn't go down well with the audience

 

[mr steev]

"What a massive pair of testicles"