Brit remakes of American films

[Batley]

During the Wickerman remake thread ovaltine said:

"They should leave it alone. Maybe we should threaten to remake Easy Rider with the Chuckle Brothers riding scooters on the Isle of Wight unless they leave our fucking movies alone."

For revenge's sake, let's have thread full of similar Brit remaikes of iconic/quintessentially American films

To start off -- A remake of Casblanca, moved to Bangkok, where Ray Winstone is the hard-drinking ex-pat owner of a lady-boys bar, who has to choose whose side he's on, when his former lover (Sam Fox) turns up, chased by the FBI, with her new boyfriend, (pot-liberationist Clive Owen) in tow.

Ladyboys has no hyphen.

 

[BassJunkie]

Requiem For A Dream, with Kate Moss and Pete Docherty

 

[j6ango1977]

british remakes of yank movies??? We are not as arrogant as the yanks. We dont try to remake the godfather or goodfellas. So why do they try to remake films like Get Carter and get it so wrong?

 

[laptop]

The Sound of Music with Siouxie

The Blues Brothers with Billy Bragg and Brian Eno

Gold-diggers of 1935 with the Spice Girls

Rain Man with Ricky Gervais

 

[Dhimmi]

Donnie Darko-
with Jim Davison in the lead and the evil bunny replaced by a rasta fed up with boom-boom rhythms and hollow lyrics.
American History X-
Arthur Scargill in lead, ZOG replaced by Thatch, blacks by Young Tories, alternative sadder ending.
Roots-
The musical! But with blacked-up whites with strong Northern accents playing slaves and whited-up blacks with strong West Country accents playing the slave traders. Music limited to brass, banjo and kazoo.
Eraserhead-
starring any bratty kid actor in lead, slight rewrite to change story to be about a young boy with a rubber for a head and the amusing situations he finds himself in. Take out all the weird bits, and in colour, music by Posh Spice.
Basquiat-
Not set in the NY art world but in a centreparc in the low season, and Basquiat is a dishwasher with eyes on the griddle chef job and the head chef is David Bowie playing Andy Warhol. Add wet tee-shirt competition scene.
Witness-
Gary Glitter in lead but set with a Hmong tribe in the hills of Indo-China. Drop the barn stuff, music by Danni Minogue.

as for
"Maybe we should threaten to remake Easy Rider with the Chuckle Brothers riding scooters on the Isle of Wight unless they leave our fucking movies alone."

I'd pay to see that.
"To you man"
"To me man To you man"

 

[DaveCinzano]

how about it's a wonderful life with keith chegwin as the lead character and jimmy saville as the evil banker...

Did this ever make it out of production hell?

 

[Fez909]

Blue Velvet - Stacey Solomon replacing Isabella Rossellini, Jimmy Savile (reanimated special edition) replaces Hopper and Dean Gaffney stepping in for Kyle MacLachlan.

 

[Miss Caphat]

while thread/ concept is funny, I don't think anyone would care if you did remake any of our movies tbh.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Citizen Kane - Danny Dyer dishes out the dry slaps as he builds up Romford's number one niteklub KaNeD, whilst at the back of his mind are memories of his beloved childhood BMX.

 

[Fez909]

while thread/ concept is funny, I don't think anyone would care if you did remake any of our movies tbh.

Not if they were as ridiculous as those on this thread, no. See the Turkish Spiderman films etc. That's how they would be viewed (and rightly so).

 

[ska invita]

Forrest Gump with Brian Blessed

Apocalypse Now with Dennis Waterman
(actor who plays Fred Elliot in Corrie to reprise Brando role)

Ben Hur with Julian Clarey

Citizen Cane with Chubby Brown

The African Queen-with Richard and Judy

....especially the Brian Blessed one!

 

[Miss Caphat]

Not if they were as ridiculous as those on this thread, no. See the Turkish Spiderman films etc. That's how they would be viewed (and rightly so).

there's a Turkish Spiderman film?*





* this being my point, basically

 

[Fez909]

there's a Turkish Spiderman film?*





* this being my point, basically

You're in for a treat if you've never seen the Turkish remakes!

Turkish Spiderman vs Turkish Captain America ( )


Turkish Rambo


Turkish Superman


Feast your eyes!

 

[Captain Hurrah]

The Turkish Rambo uses music from Escape from New York (the David 14/Air Force One crash scene).

And, I'll see your Turkish shite and raise you a Soviet Mary Poppins, although I'm not so sure how more or less faithful it is to P. L. Travers than the Disney adaptation. Their version of Winnie the Pooh is good, though.

 

[stuff_it]

Terminator with the cast of Brookside.

 

[Badgers]

Jaws with Danny Dyer and a Pike

 

[killer b]

Some Like it Hot with Eddie Izzard and Paul O'Grady (ooooh... © 2005 me)

i know i'm 7 years late, but they done this already except with robbie coltrane & eric idle...

 

[JimW]

Hott Fuzz was deliberately this, wasn't it?

 

[seeformiles]

The Turkish Rambo uses music from Escape from New York (the David 14/Air Force One crash scene).

And, I'll see your Turkish shite and raise you a Soviet Mary Poppins, although I'm not so sure how more or less faithful it is to P. L. Travers than the Disney adaptation. Their version of Winnie the Pooh is good, though.

Wow - the Perestroika Poppins is (to use the common parlance) a "stone fox"

 

[Captain Hurrah]

The film (or two-part television film) was made in 1983. CPSU restructuring didn't officially occur until 1986.

The actress is probably more well-known outside of the USSR for her roles in Siberiade and Wartime Romance. The latter also stars an adult Nikolai Burlyaev, who played the tragic young lead in Ivan's Childhood (and who is also a horrible, homophobic twat).

Anyway, Soviet Winnie the Pooh (Vinni Pukh) is great.

 

[DaveCinzano]

The film (or two-part television film) was made in 1983. CPSU restructuring didn't officially occur until 1986.

Okay then, how about 'the Planned Economy Poppins'?

 

[Balbi]

Star Wars featuring the cast of Red Dwarf.

 

[DotCommunist]

Field of dreams, only its a football pitch and danny dyer takes costners role

 

[Pingu]

remake the sopranos using the classic cast of brookside

bobby grant as tony soprano etc

have it set in birkenhead

use "ruperts"* as the bing


*unless you were there in the late 80's early 0s this wil mean fuck all to you

 

[Kaka Tim]

'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' - done by the Carry on Team.

Sid James as Mc Murphy
Hattie Jacques as Nurse Ratchet
Bernard Breslaw as Chief Bromden
Kenneth Williams as Dr Spivey
Frankie Howard as Harding
Jim Dale as Billy Bibbet.
Charles Hawtrey as Martini
Babs Windsor as Candy

In fact you could just point the carry on team at any american classic film and it would destroy them quite beautifully!

 

[Pingu]

rambo - starring johnny vegas

 

[mwgdrwg]

North By Northwest, with Colin Firth as a stock exchange trader mistaken for a spy. Escapes on the Virgin train to Lancashire where he seduces sexy double agent Carey Mulligan, before a final conftrontation with wordy spy Nicolas Cage on top of the Blackpool Tower.

 

[Kaka Tim]

Star Wars

Luke Skywalker - Jim Dale
Princess Leah - Babs Windsor
Han Solo - Sid James
Chewbacca - Bernard Breslaw
Ben Kenobi - Warren Mitchel
Yoda - Kenneth Conner
C3P0 - Charles Hawtry
Darth Vader - Hattie Jacques
THe Emperor - Kenneth Williams

And vengeance shall be ours!

 

[Reno]

I'd like to see Showgirls remade with the cast of Calendar Girls.

 

[DaveCinzano]

The Godfather, with Ted Robbins (Den Perry from Phoenix Nights) in the Brando role.