Brexit survival guide: Stockpiling Food

[scifisam]

I think I could make it for about 6 weeks if I ate sparingly. Do have a habit of bulk buying reduced goods

The four of us in my flat could easily survive for a couple of months. A lifetime of apocalypse fiction plus an over-reaction to childhood food poverty means that I always have tons and tons of food in. And tons of toilet roll, importantly.

 

[mojo pixy]

Break-in gear, rope, and weapons.

Heh, only kidding

 

[kebabking]

3.5 tonnes of baked beans and a shotgun.

Bring it on, fuckaaaaazzzz!

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Anyway, we'd survive. Porridge for breakfast every day (water and salt only as they are readily available in Blighty), neeps and tatties for every other meal. And slugs and snails.

 

[toblerone3]

Is this a good time to get into curing meats?

Have always fancied a bash at it, and if chorizo and parma ham and such like are going to be hard to come by next year, then I could make a viable business out of it.

Plus, I don't want to see that smug cunt Alex James creaming off all the luxury product profits

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Is this a good time to get into curing meats?

Have always fancied a bash at it, and if chorizo and parma ham and such like are going to be hard to come by next year, then I could make a viable business out of it.

Plus, I don't want to see that smug cunt Alex James creaming off all the luxury product profits

Not a good idea
Hot dogs and other cured meats may cause mania, new study finds

 

[a_chap]

Cured meats cause mania?

I think you'll find the evidence is right in front of you. Grinning manically. Grinding up another family pet...

 

[Badgers]

Best hurry up

 

[Gromit]

Maybe a problem in terms of quantity but not in terms of quality.

Some British "Table Wines" (i.e. regional wines) are feckin' amazing. Do not underestimate the quality of some of the wines made in jolly old England.

They never criticised quality.

But why worry when Californian and Australian wines are far superior to European wine?
It's not like Trump will suddenly start inventing random tariffs n shit, oh wait.

 

[gentlegreen]

I'll stick to my characterful French wine - though that seems to have dried-up already at my local Aldi.

 

[19sixtysix]

I'll stick to my characterful French wine - though that seems to have dried-up already at my local Aldi.

Better get that bramble wine made.

 

[Poi E]

Start bee keeping. Honey and mead.

 

[Badgers]

Start bee keeping. Honey and mead.

After brexit the EU rules on pesticides will be gone and your bee's will ALL die.

Buy powdered honey

 

[Miss-Shelf]

Break-in gear, rope, and weapons.

Heh, only kidding

Somehow I ended up on a US apocalypse prepper Facebook group . Amongst the homely tips for elderflower cordial and diy patio furniture are tips for seeing off your neighbours.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Somehow I ended up on a US apocalypse prepper Facebook group . Amongst the homely tips for elderflower cordial and diy patio furniture are tips for seeing off your neighbours.

Some poor bugger lived off prepper food for a week.

I Only Ate Doomsday Prepper Food for a Week

 

[Badgers]

Wise Company 60 Serving Gourmet Seasoned Freeze Dried Meat Grab and Go Bucket

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006RLOKW0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_QxgvBb5Y14EHD

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Wise Company 60 Serving Gourmet Seasoned Freeze Dried Meat Grab and Go Bucket

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006RLOKW0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_QxgvBb5Y14EHD

The distinctly odd Jim Bakker.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

The distinctly odd Jim Bakker.

Got to admire the guy for selling buckets of crap for $2,500

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Got to admire the guy for selling buckets of crap for $2,500

It's morbidly fascinating - just how fucking brazen can these people be, selling buckets o' shit for loads of money. It looks disgusting food anyway - I'd rather die in the zombie apocalypse than eat that.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

It's morbidly fascinating - just how fucking brazen can these people be, selling buckets o' shit for loads of money. It looks disgusting food anyway - I'd rather die in the zombie apocalypse than eat that.

Selling stuff that nobody is actually going to eat ever! It will all just be stored in cellars or barns or whatever. It's amazing!

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Selling stuff that nobody is actually going to eat ever! It will all just be stored in cellars or barns or whatever. It's amazing!

Not to mention that they start the clip displaying eight years worth of food. I know I like to eat the same thing on a regular basis (tomatoes/rice), but even I'd get bored of nothing but that for eight years.

I bet people stockpile this stuff only when it comes to the crunch and they have to use it they find the insects have made their way in, and they have bucket after bucket of seething, glistening cockroach larvae.

 

[a_chap]

It's not just food! Bakker's web site sells all sorts of crap; mostly at incredibly high prices too

A mere $2,500 for a 100W solar panel, inverter and battery - 2018 Basic Fuel-Less Generator Offer | The Jim Bakker Show Store

Edited to add:

More lousy prices. They sell a "4 gallon" bucket of brown rice for... $60

Yes, 11.8Kg of brown rice that's all it is. Brown rice is £1.50 a kilo at our local Sainsbury but you can buy in a bucket via the god-botherer and pay waaaay over the odds.

I can see me spending all day on this fruitcake's site

 

[moochedit]

It's the millennium bug again

Mad Max here we come.

How soon will people turn to cannibalism?

 

[moose]

I'm desperately worried about the continued availability of Veggie Colin Caterpillars at M&S. Impossible to stockpile them, unless I keep them in someone else's house

 

[farmerbarleymow]

It's not just food! Bakker's web site sells all sorts of crap; mostly at incredibly high prices too

A mere $2,500 for a 100W solar panel, inverter and battery - 2018 Basic Fuel-Less Generator Offer | The Jim Bakker Show Store

Edited to add:

More lousy prices. They sell a "4 gallon" bucket of brown rice for... $60

Yes, 11.8Kg of brown rice that's all it is. Brown rice is £1.50 a kilo at our local Sainsbury but you can buy in a bucket via the god-botherer and pay waaaay over the odds.

I can see me spending all day on this fruitcake's site

But its for gaaahd.

How else does he fund his telly bollocks.

I'm desperately worried about the continued availability of Veggie Colin Caterpillars at M&S. Impossible to stockpile them, unless I keep them in someone else's house

Want me to keep an apocalypse stockpile? I could relatively easily dodge the zombie hordes to deliver them to Macc.

 

[Supine]

How long does brie last in a fridge?

 

[Ax^]

we should set up plans to round up and slaughter the chief exiters to feed the masses


Grove, Boris and Moggs

we can call it blue soylent

 

[farmerbarleymow]

we should set up plans to round up and slaughter the chief exiters to feed the masses


Grove, Boris and Moggs

we can call it blue soylent

It'd make everyone bilious.

 

[scifisam]

we should set up plans to round up and slaughter the chief exiters to feed the masses


Grove, Boris and Moggs

we can call it blue soylent

Honestly as much as I dislike the idea of killing without eating I could not eat any of those bastards unless we were all in the Andes.

 

[High Voltage]

How long does brie last in a fridge?

In my experience . . . a lifetime - unless Mrs Voltz spots it, in which case a LOT less, maybe not even until that evening