Spymaster
Plastic Paddy
Come on, blush away!
Bikers - "Your Biggest Fuck-Up"
- Thread starter Spymaster
- Start date
Come on, blush away!
ChrisD
.
I was overtaking at about 60 mph a Bradfords builders merchants tipper lorry at about 5.47pm on the A45 dual carriageway in Northampton when I realised that their load was bouncing around a bit.
Then I noticed a wheelbarrow fly out the back. Not sure if it flew in front or behind me but was very very close. Didn't stop till I got home (2 miles away) then realised how lucky I'd been and couldn't stand up for a while.
Then I noticed a wheelbarrow fly out the back. Not sure if it flew in front or behind me but was very very close. Didn't stop till I got home (2 miles away) then realised how lucky I'd been and couldn't stand up for a while.
I had loads of biker mates who were in their late 30's and 40's, I was 17 and all the biker guys had got into going to free parties around mid and north Wales. Strange to see big biker guys out of in on E and dancing around to trance/techno (this was about 1999, I think?) When they weren't free parting they were out of it on loads of speed so naturally all the free time I had was around these guys. Anyway, they kept pushing me to get my CBT and join them biking. I booked the CBT for a Sunday morning in Newtown, we were going to go there after a night of dancing about and taking loads of drugs, seemed like an easy thing to do when you are 19 and can take anything.
A few of them took me to the test center and spent their morning wizzing in a near by cafe. I sat though the boring video and explanation from the instructor, I was still quite out of it and for some reason decided I would go to the bogs and neck another E, these things didn't even have a stamp on them, they were these huge green/gray colored pills that fell apart if you pressed them. Next thing I know I'm cursing about on my little 125 rushing my balls off while following the instructor and another guy, he went the wrong way or something and the instructor had to go back for him, I waited and they appeared about 500m away on top of a hill with a big bend leading up to it, the instructor waved me to come and follow, they headed off and I, thinking I was now free ripped back the throttle and went up through the gears. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, I was really moving now, I looked down at the speed of the bike and then looked up. Just over the ridge of the hill they had stopped and I was coming towards the back of them fast, I grabbed the front brake and boom, bike slid out from under me, I went sliding about 30 meters along the road, face looking down at the tarmac flowing under me.
I didn't pass the CBT and haven't been on a bike since.
A few of them took me to the test center and spent their morning wizzing in a near by cafe. I sat though the boring video and explanation from the instructor, I was still quite out of it and for some reason decided I would go to the bogs and neck another E, these things didn't even have a stamp on them, they were these huge green/gray colored pills that fell apart if you pressed them. Next thing I know I'm cursing about on my little 125 rushing my balls off while following the instructor and another guy, he went the wrong way or something and the instructor had to go back for him, I waited and they appeared about 500m away on top of a hill with a big bend leading up to it, the instructor waved me to come and follow, they headed off and I, thinking I was now free ripped back the throttle and went up through the gears. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, I was really moving now, I looked down at the speed of the bike and then looked up. Just over the ridge of the hill they had stopped and I was coming towards the back of them fast, I grabbed the front brake and boom, bike slid out from under me, I went sliding about 30 meters along the road, face looking down at the tarmac flowing under me.
I didn't pass the CBT and haven't been on a bike since.
Spymaster
Plastic Paddy
weltweit
Well-Known Member
I have loads of bike mishap stories from about twenty years of biking.
One was when I had decided with a whole load of other bikers to ride round the four corners of Britain, starting at John O'Groats on a Saturday morning and ending eventually at St David's head.
I finished work on Friday night in Cardiff and set off to ride my GS750 to John O'Groats through the night. Not the safest plan as I would miss a complete nights sleep before the start of the trip. The journey did not go smoothly and at 09:00 Saturday when the trip was supposed to start I was still bombing up the A road towards John O'Groats. I met hundreds of bikers streaming past going in the other direction - starting their trip.
At John O'Groats I found a few others who were also leaving later and joined with some of them for the journey to the right hand most corner.
Then started my problems. I was exhausted and these others were riding really slowly such that I didn't really have to concentrate, like you do if you are riding faster.
Arriving in Newcastle approaching a roundabout at only perhaps 40-50mph I finally succumbed to my tiredness and went to sleep. Apparently I rode right past my braking colleagues, into and over the raised and turfed centre of the roundabout and down the other side. Then I awoke to find myself riding straight towards the entrance of a building site where there were piles of scaffolding poles on which to impale myself. I slammed on the brakes and skidded into a pile of scaffolding coming to a halt and relieved I had managed to save myself.
Credit to the folks of Newcastle, the very next couple to come along stopped and took an interest, I had slightly buckled my front wheel but otherwise there was no significant damage. There was no way I could continue that night, I just had to sleep, the kind couple took me, and another guy, home with them, let us sleep and then fed us a full English in the morning!
One was when I had decided with a whole load of other bikers to ride round the four corners of Britain, starting at John O'Groats on a Saturday morning and ending eventually at St David's head.
I finished work on Friday night in Cardiff and set off to ride my GS750 to John O'Groats through the night. Not the safest plan as I would miss a complete nights sleep before the start of the trip. The journey did not go smoothly and at 09:00 Saturday when the trip was supposed to start I was still bombing up the A road towards John O'Groats. I met hundreds of bikers streaming past going in the other direction - starting their trip.
At John O'Groats I found a few others who were also leaving later and joined with some of them for the journey to the right hand most corner.
Then started my problems. I was exhausted and these others were riding really slowly such that I didn't really have to concentrate, like you do if you are riding faster.
Arriving in Newcastle approaching a roundabout at only perhaps 40-50mph I finally succumbed to my tiredness and went to sleep. Apparently I rode right past my braking colleagues, into and over the raised and turfed centre of the roundabout and down the other side. Then I awoke to find myself riding straight towards the entrance of a building site where there were piles of scaffolding poles on which to impale myself. I slammed on the brakes and skidded into a pile of scaffolding coming to a halt and relieved I had managed to save myself.
Credit to the folks of Newcastle, the very next couple to come along stopped and took an interest, I had slightly buckled my front wheel but otherwise there was no significant damage. There was no way I could continue that night, I just had to sleep, the kind couple took me, and another guy, home with them, let us sleep and then fed us a full English in the morning!
weltweit
Well-Known Member
On my SR500 I was riding across Salisbury plain when I came up behind a queue of vehicles including some army trucks. As was my want I started overtaking them, gradually working through them until I was behind a couple of army trucks and just a few more vehicles.
I saw an opportunity to take the trucks and sped past the first but then decided to pull in again between them as there was oncoming traffic. I pulled in, the gap between the trucks was quite small, a little bit smaller than I needed really I hoped the truck behind would slow a bit to give me some room.
I turned my head and saw the driver of the truck behind me, he seemed to be grinning at me, then I looked down and to my left and there was the reason the two trucks were so close together.
A towbar! The truck in front was towing the truck behind with a towbar and it was only perhaps a couple of feet longer than the length of me and my Yamaha. There was no way the truck behind me could give me room, he was permanently attached to the truck in front.
Luckily a gap presented itself and I was able to get out of my self inflicted predicament
I saw an opportunity to take the trucks and sped past the first but then decided to pull in again between them as there was oncoming traffic. I pulled in, the gap between the trucks was quite small, a little bit smaller than I needed really I hoped the truck behind would slow a bit to give me some room.
I turned my head and saw the driver of the truck behind me, he seemed to be grinning at me, then I looked down and to my left and there was the reason the two trucks were so close together.
A towbar! The truck in front was towing the truck behind with a towbar and it was only perhaps a couple of feet longer than the length of me and my Yamaha. There was no way the truck behind me could give me room, he was permanently attached to the truck in front.
Luckily a gap presented itself and I was able to get out of my self inflicted predicament
weltweit
Well-Known Member
My worst incident was the end of my Yamaha 250.
I was riding on an A road at perhaps 50-60mph when a red sports car pulled out from the left in front of me, to turn right across my path, and then stopped covering my lane. He stopped because there was a car coming the other way. My immediate thought was that I might get round the front of him, but there was this car coming the other way, towards me.
There was nowhere to go and I knew I would hit the sports car, I didn't even have time to brake or to broadside into it, it did occur to me that I was about to die.
Anyhow in the milliseconds before I hit the car I thought to stand up on the pegs, to perhaps almost jump over the handlebars and the sports car. Just as I was standing up we hit the car and I blacked out.
Some time later I awoke some distance past the car, face down in the road, blood streaming down my face (open face helmet). My first thought was to get to the sports car and throttle the driver but I couldn't get my legs to work and I couldn't get up off the road.
Anyhow, my bike's front wheel had been smashed, the forks were bent right back and the wheel had hit the engine hard enough to smash the crankcases.
My injuries were superficial although I went into shock, I had stitches and what have you but luckily nothing more serious.
The sports car, which I had hit on the front right wheel was also a write off and the driver was prosecuted and convicted for driving without due care and attention or something like that. His insurance paid out for my bike and with that I bought myself a 500 Yamaha which proved a great machine!!
Every cloud and all that
I was riding on an A road at perhaps 50-60mph when a red sports car pulled out from the left in front of me, to turn right across my path, and then stopped covering my lane. He stopped because there was a car coming the other way. My immediate thought was that I might get round the front of him, but there was this car coming the other way, towards me.
There was nowhere to go and I knew I would hit the sports car, I didn't even have time to brake or to broadside into it, it did occur to me that I was about to die.
Anyhow in the milliseconds before I hit the car I thought to stand up on the pegs, to perhaps almost jump over the handlebars and the sports car. Just as I was standing up we hit the car and I blacked out.
Some time later I awoke some distance past the car, face down in the road, blood streaming down my face (open face helmet). My first thought was to get to the sports car and throttle the driver but I couldn't get my legs to work and I couldn't get up off the road.
Anyhow, my bike's front wheel had been smashed, the forks were bent right back and the wheel had hit the engine hard enough to smash the crankcases.
My injuries were superficial although I went into shock, I had stitches and what have you but luckily nothing more serious.
The sports car, which I had hit on the front right wheel was also a write off and the driver was prosecuted and convicted for driving without due care and attention or something like that. His insurance paid out for my bike and with that I bought myself a 500 Yamaha which proved a great machine!!
Every cloud and all that
Utopia
"Jackanackanory"
I'm from Newtown! Was the CBT near Dave Jones Motorcycles near Pool Road by any chance?
weltweit
Well-Known Member
Once, after rebuilding my Yamaha SR500 I rode it to my local pub. It had apehanger handlebars. When I stopped outside the pub and took my hands from the bars, they slowly rotated backwards and fell back onto the tank. I had forgotten to tighten the bolts holding the handlebars on!!
Yes, I think is was a copper that used to run the test.
Do you know The Time Lord by any chance?
treefrog
Saddle up
Greased 'em, didn't tighten them properly either I don't think. Bear in mind my fucking utter n00bness and faith in this guy that had been vouched for by other
Taught me a valuable lesson or two mind, nobody but me greases my bolts these days...Post #10 ain't.
And isn't treefrog a person with ladyparts?
Still manly as fuck
Spymaster
Plastic Paddy
.... he forgot things sometimes after a nasty crash that left him with head injuries
The perfect bloke to service your brakes!
treefrog
Saddle up
It's funny the little details people leave out until after the fact...
In my defence, I'd been in NZ about a month at this point, their, er, more relaxed attitudes to driving, mechanics and almost everything wasn't something I'd really appreciated.
weltweit
Well-Known Member
My Yamaha SR500 was wonderful, single cylinder, the engine was very narrow and even if you came off it didn't scrape the ground. The pegs folded up so that if you started scraping them on the road when leant over you could continue leaning further and the peg, rather than catching on the tarmac, just folded up a little more.
I used to visit a pub with lots of GS1000 riders. They didn't have much ground clearance, I found on roundabouts, I could ride around and overtake them on the outside of the roundabout because I could lean so much further over than they could.
I was enjoying bend swinging. But one warm summers day, the type bikers love, warm tarmac and warm grippy rubber, I found myself on a dual carriage way in quite a sharp right hand curve. I leant over till the peg started to fold up, lifting my right foot with the peg we went round the corner in some style. Unfortunately, there was a line of loose gravel on the road ahead, still leant right over I met the gravel lost the front and back wheels simultaneously and ended up sliding along the road on my bottom.
No serious damage but some embarrassment as there were witnesses and a slight wakeup call to pay more close attention to road conditions in future.
I used to visit a pub with lots of GS1000 riders. They didn't have much ground clearance, I found on roundabouts, I could ride around and overtake them on the outside of the roundabout because I could lean so much further over than they could.
I was enjoying bend swinging. But one warm summers day, the type bikers love, warm tarmac and warm grippy rubber, I found myself on a dual carriage way in quite a sharp right hand curve. I leant over till the peg started to fold up, lifting my right foot with the peg we went round the corner in some style. Unfortunately, there was a line of loose gravel on the road ahead, still leant right over I met the gravel lost the front and back wheels simultaneously and ended up sliding along the road on my bottom.
No serious damage but some embarrassment as there were witnesses and a slight wakeup call to pay more close attention to road conditions in future.
DownwardDog
Riding a Brompton with a power meter.
I did another one today. I just bought a ZX-10R to replace the cunted Fireblade because I reckon it has the strongest motor with the most tuning potential of all the litre bikes. I was filling it up with petrol for the first time and put the filler cap with the key in it on top of the pump. A gust of wind caught it, blew it off the pump and bent the key. When I tried to straighten the key so I could start the bike it snapped. Welcome to Kawasaki build quality!
Corax
Luke 5:16
Frumious B.
Well-Known Member
You don't need a key for Kawasakis - a half penny coin does the job.
DownwardDog
Riding a Brompton with a power meter.
Here's a good one...
http://xtremesportsphotography.photoreflect.com/store/Orderpage.aspx?pi=0QAK01AY080000&po=0&pc=28
Photo 19 is particularly amusing. The stupid fat fucker.
http://xtremesportsphotography.photoreflect.com/store/Orderpage.aspx?pi=0QAK01AY080000&po=0&pc=28
Photo 19 is particularly amusing. The stupid fat fucker.
Pingu
Credo
mine have all been relatively minor but I wil give this one my mate did.
I was on a RGV250 him a NS400. Going over Denbigh moors having just left the sportsmans arms there used to be a lovely metal bridge that if you hit it right you got air before landing. Sadly my mate hit it wrong ... i.e. we were going the wrong direction and there was a nice tight right hander just after it going the other way. we were racing and I realised what he was going to do when I saw I was doing 60-70 and rising and he was pulling away from me. I slowed down .. he didn't. over the bridge.. through the air and smack into a drystone wall.
Fortunately first aid was readily at hand thanks to a transit van full of coppers that were coming the opposite way.
he spent time in intensive care at Glan Clwyd and then a further year of various operations etc before he was right again.
I was on a RGV250 him a NS400. Going over Denbigh moors having just left the sportsmans arms there used to be a lovely metal bridge that if you hit it right you got air before landing. Sadly my mate hit it wrong ... i.e. we were going the wrong direction and there was a nice tight right hander just after it going the other way. we were racing and I realised what he was going to do when I saw I was doing 60-70 and rising and he was pulling away from me. I slowed down .. he didn't. over the bridge.. through the air and smack into a drystone wall.
Fortunately first aid was readily at hand thanks to a transit van full of coppers that were coming the opposite way.
he spent time in intensive care at Glan Clwyd and then a further year of various operations etc before he was right again.
Sweet FA
✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪
Why did he keep the throttle on?
TopCat
Putin fanboy
Maybe posters can learn from others mistakes?
DownwardDog
Riding a Brompton with a power meter.
I had a big one on my Fireblade track bike on a tuning/setup day this week. It had been raining but there was a dry line so I thought I'm the fucking Regenmaster, I'm going out on slicks. This was the first half of a good idea and I was looking pretty racy. Until... somebody, for some reason, came to almost a complete stop on the dry line at the end of the straight as I bore down on them at 200km/h. To avoid killing us both I had to move off the dry line. I assume a really fast low side under braking then ensued but I'm not sure as the next thing I recall is coming round a few seconds later upside down in the hay bales.
The bike is completely crashed to fuck; bent forks, all 4 headers snapped, rear subframe destroyed and we never found the right clip on.
The bike is completely crashed to fuck; bent forks, all 4 headers snapped, rear subframe destroyed and we never found the right clip on.
weltweit
Well-Known Member
I have recently seen a few bikers going a bit mad cutting through traffic, I know it is tempting to cut through the middle but some fast undertaking I have seen on dual carriageways is just begging someone in a car to change lanes without realising a biker is there and then, disaster.
DownwardDog
Riding a Brompton with a power meter.
I think it's down to the rise of moto-vloggers. Some blokes are really, really good at riding fast through traffic, have started their own YouTube channels demonstrating their mastery of the form and have become slightly famous in the world of motorbikes as a result. I think this phenomenon is starting a bit of a craze for super fast lane splitting.
weltweit
Well-Known Member
As an ex biker who was taken out by a car driver who didn't look, writing off my bike and the car, I find it worrying. And as a car driver I often pull into the left or right lanes when there is a gap for me without being too careful to check in my mirrors for speeding / undertaking bikes, I know I shouldn't but I think most drivers do it.
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