Annoying Adverts 2016

[Espresso]

Whoever wrote/passed the script for the Tena lady advert I've just seen need to have a word with themselves.
Glamorous granny type woman on screen and the female voiceover is telling us that thanks to Tena Lady "I can carry on being myself"
Given the nature of the product, surely anyone with one brain cell more than a rice pudding could have avoided a sentence like that.

 

[hot air baboon]

 

[isvicthere?]

That Cadbury's "Moon river" one is starting to get on my nerves.

 

[Gromit]

The Maybelline advert that proudly announces Two times more water.

Apparently they have another product that promises two times more blackness.

 

[Me76]

Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'

 

[Gromit]

Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'

I spotted that one too.

The recent dumberning* of the English language in adverts is obviously deliberate.
Like politicians trying to drop their posh accents and talk street because political phycologists have told them too.

* Courtesy of the Simpsons.

 

[twentythreedom]

SCS sofas FUCK OFF

 

[twentythreedom]

Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'

I hate that one too - proppah

 

[Sirena]

There's a Morrison's one where they find some cornflakes are cheaper down the road.

The bloke (some comedian) had been to Morocco and wants to negotiate. ('Let's do the dance of finance'....)

It's starting to do my head in...

Oh and the Trebor one....

 

[DotCommunist]

lloyds pharmacy are now sponsoring the Chase. The adverts are so inoffensive as to be offensive. Look at us. We're normal and heres a man in a white coat (white coat=science).

 

[T & P]

Vista Print with the woman who says 'they are proper'

Yes, weird.

I did google one of the other case studies, the dog grooming business, and it's real. So at least they had the decency to use real people.

 

[Espresso]

Talking about strange pronunciation in adverts, there is one for a company that will set you up a website. To have a website you need a domain name, as we know. However, everyone and his dog that I've ever heard in real life deems to say domain with a slither over the o - d'mayn. The woman on this says the word as if it's got something to do with bread. She wants to sell us a DOUGH-mayne name.
Always sounds very jarring to me.

 

[isvicthere?]

The Toyota ad accompanied by Bowie's "Changes."

Corporate capitalism showing its customary sensitivity to the recently dead.

 

[twentythreedom]

Aaargh just seen an awful VW ad - ginger dude with yellow shirt, sickening family history featuring VWs.

Now. Then. Always.

Fuck off

 

[blairsh]

Oak Furniture Land. Fuck off.

 

[rubbershoes]

Oak Furniture Land. Fuck off.

Since those adverts started they've maintained a high standard of awfulness.

 

[isvicthere?]

If we're allowed to slip in one we like, I must say I really enjoy the Snackarchist ad.

No-one tells him what to chew.

 

[T & P]

Hive. Because it's simply too scary to go home if the lights are off after watching a horror film at the cinema.

 

[Kesher]

Can't stand the music and the voice, and the way hand is sung as "hehnd". Also, how is he going to keep anyone safe with a voice like that? One more thing, at the end: the looks on their faces when she appears with his dad's scarf.

 

[trabuquera]

"there's a mountain of money put by* for people who've bought PPI** mistakenly sold to you and I***"

* no there isn't, you scamming bastards
** are there really any people left in the UK who don't know about PPI and the associated nuisance calling/texting, you scamming bastards?
*** "sold to you AND ME". ME. It gives I a near bloody aneurysm. Every. Single. Time. you illiterate scamming bastards

 

[gosub]

"there's a mountain of money put by* for people who've bought PPI** mistakenly sold to you and I***"

* no there isn't, you scamming bastards
** are there really any people left in the UK who don't know about PPI and the associated nuisance calling/texting, you scamming bastards?
*** "sold to you AND ME". ME. It gives I a near bloody aneurysm. Every. Single. Time. you illiterate scamming bastards

mistakenly! The banks will only have considered it a "mistake" when they started getting hit with fines and told to pay it back

 

[Idaho]

An old advert but very annoying. That Natalie Portman one about perfume where she runs out of the wedding.

What annoys me most is that she runs out of a nice wide lawned area that a helicopter could easily land on, and (after changing dresses - so can't be in that much of a hurry) she chooses to board the craft on a rocky promontory by rope ladder.

 

[gosub]

An old advert but very annoying. That Natalie Portman one about perfume where she runs out of the wedding.

What annoys me most is that she runs out of a nice wide lawned area that a helicopter could easily land on, and (after changing dresses - so can't be in that much of a hurry) she chooses to board the craft on a rocky promontory by rope ladder.

Pilots can be strange beasts, Aaron Senna (rip) racing down the M3 to catch his private jet a gave that as excuse (had to get there before it left without me) , everyone who didn't know Owen OMarney laughed

 

[georgezip]

I wish Harvey keitel had resurrected his Bad Lieutenant character for the Direct Line ads instead.

"Dont get up. So you're a landlord now, a property magnate, a player?"
"It's just my wife's old flat"
"Show me how you suck a guy's cock" (whilst wanking)

My pet loathing at the moment is the ad break book end for ITV4s Bundesliga football highlights show with the ignorant obnoxious moron twat munching pies. In one example his not bad looking girlfriend wants an "early night" (ie. bang her brains out) and all he wants to do is stuff his face with a shitty cheap meat pie and watch telly. Buy this pie and you too can be a fucking loser. I FUCKING HATE HIM (but I like his girlfriend, ha ha).

Had to get that off my chest.

 

[Gromit]

An old advert but very annoying. That Natalie Portman one about perfume where she runs out of the wedding.

What annoys me most is that she runs out of a nice wide lawned area that a helicopter could easily land on, and (after changing dresses - so can't be in that much of a hurry) she chooses to board the craft on a rocky promontory by rope ladder.

It's sooo fragmented.

Lawn, sorry dad (doesn't apologise to the guy she's jilted the cunt).

Cliff, different outfit for the dynamic ladder climb.

Chopper, random guy kisses neck, no discussion or explanation. Who is flying?

Paris, just because.

Yeah I hate it too.

 

[gosub]

Sainsbury's Little twists, where Jarvis Cocker suggests a verity of food combinations that ALL sound revolting, the sort of the Liz Smith's character in Vicar of Dibley would come up with

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Any go compare ad....especially the latest one...with the taxi driver....

 

[May Kasahara]

I saw a Homebase ad the other night that was so awful I thought I might have dreamt it. Dreamy voiceover saying things like 'this sofa isn't just a thing, it's a place to make up after an argument', 'this shelf isn't just a shelf, it's a display case for your vintage porn collection' etc. Like that shite Coop advert with the bloke making his wife some toast after they'd had a dust-up, but taken to its wanky extreme. It was almost nakedly saying 'got emotional problems? BUY MORE STUFF TO FILL THE VOID'.

 

[isvicthere?]

"Just nutmeg it."

 

[isvicthere?]

"there's a mountain of money put by* for people who've bought PPI** mistakenly sold to you and I***"

* no there isn't, you scamming bastards
** are there really any people left in the UK who don't know about PPI and the associated nuisance calling/texting, you scamming bastards?
*** "sold to you AND ME". ME. It gives I a near bloody aneurysm. Every. Single. Time. you illiterate scamming bastards

You're not alone. Every time I see that ad, I also shout, "TO YOU AND ME!"