Something is happening in the now affluent area of Cheadle High Street. Once a bastion of pre revolutionary optimism thrusting with advanced sections of the working class and anarchist estate agents the area has now been levelled up. The area is booming, the local Spar shop was replaced by a supermarket, more supermarkets arrived to meet demand .There are four supermarkets to every ten people. 25% of the population now have a house inside a supermarket and greet each other in the morning by shouting over the aisles that separate them from their neighbours.
However at t the Headless Chicken Plant Based Wine Bar, where the EU flag at half mast casts a permanent shadow, all is not right. Locals glumly sip their craft beer dismayed by the chronic au pair shortage. The decision by the local Council run by the Urbanistas to abolish the working class as it was too hard to define has led them to frantically count their change for any sign of hyperinflation due to wages rising by 50 pence an hour.
What is really disturbing is that not only are lorry drivers being pinged by the local Trick and Trace system but so are drivers of electric Range Rovers, MPVs, , expensive bikes with trolleys made in Germany subject to import tax. Even those pushing a supermarket trolley are pinged when approaching the frozen department where the petis pois would normally be. In some cases customers approaching an aisle to take a photo of it for the Empty Shelf of the Month competition have been pinged and told to isolate.
Something somewhere is decidedly odd. When quizzed, by people who have nothing better to do than quiz supermarket checkout staff , checkout staff reply in an almost Stepford way ‘That it is nothing to do with Brexit’. At night there are rumours that convoys of trucks of peas are being delivered to the Headless Chicken by men dressed in black armed with baguettes
However the game is a foot when the intrepid Bimble, by day an ordinary bat owner, discovers that the vaccines administered by the supermarkets to staff have been made by a company called Astaroth Zeneca .The mysterious owner of whom is also a Director of Trick and Trace.
Further more a chance and unexplained problem with her Chrome browser leads her to stumble on a virtual portal on her computer that leads to the subterranean cellars of the Headless Chicken in which not only is there a mountain of petit pois but a cosmic gateway to the EU. . This portal not only enables travelling small bands form Luxemburg to tour the UK and sell merchandise but more importantly bypasses the jurisdiction of the UK Government and Brexit. If Bimble and her Urbanistas can get to the legendary facsimile of Weatherspoons of which legend has it that on Vder Leyen has built in her garden then Cheadlehighstreet will rejoin the EU.
Passport to Bimblico will be released by Ladybird Books in early 2022. These events are based on a true story
