I won't be giving her back. I decided to send him an email. It sounds harsh, but I think he needs to understand how his behaviour has affected us.
Hi
I have to say, I was pretty floored when you said you wanted Lilith back, which is why I didn't say what I'm about to say then. I know she was your cat first, but you didn't tell me when you left it would only be a temporary thing. You said to me "She's your cat now" and let me move into the bigger room with higher rent. If I'd known you'd want her back after a month, I could have looked after her in my smaller room and kept my rent as it was. I can't move back in there as there's a new tenant renting it now. I feel like you've really screwed me.
I am also concerned that if she went back to live with you, she may not get proper medical care if she needed it. I have taken her for her checkup and booster, which initially the vet didn't want to do due to your debt. She eventually let me have the appointment anyway on the condition I re-registered Lilith in my name. I've also got insurance for her. I don't want to knock you for having financial difficulties, as after all everyone has tough periods of their life, but you shouldn't commit to having a pet you can't afford to look after.
The other guys in the house have also commented she seems happier and gets more freedom with me. I appreciate you always fed her and changed her litter but we sometimes didn't see her for weeks on end because you'd shut yourself away. I know every house is different, and I'm lucky to have housemates I trust enough to be able to leave the bedroom door open a crack so she can go in and out and explore the house at will. So I don't think it would be fair to uproot Lilith to a place where she/you don't know anybody, even if you're allowed pets there. It's one thing to have an indoor cat, which on the whole she is, but keeping her shut up in one room isn't really fair on her.
With all the above in mind, I really think she's better off with me and I'm not happy to hand her over to you. Not to mention that I feel like you've cheated me with first telling me I was Lilith's new owner, then wanting her back when it suits you. That's not how pet ownership works. They're not hobbies you can put down and pick up at your convenience, they're living beings who need proper, consistent care. Which I've given her and will continue to give her. I am seriously worried that if you fall out with someone at your next place and bugger off again, there might not be some equivalent cat lover to look after her a second time. And you wouldn't be able to claim her back if you'd gone with your initial plan of putting her in a shelter!
I know you're probably going to end up hating me after this, but to be honest I really don't care any more. I have to do what's best for Lilith now. I hope one day you'll sort yourself out enough to care for a cat permanently, but please don't do that until you're 100% sure you can commit yourself for life.
I wish you the best.
