Because of course Charlie would have an adverse reaction to the Metacam.
*cries*
He's developed diarrhea, which the leaflet and every vet website says is a red flag. So I just called the surgery and spoke to the duty vet and she says to stop the Metacam and see how he is over the next 24-48 hours.
Do not google metacam and cats. Nothing but people telling you how it will kill your cat. It's not approved for use in cats in the US, but is pretty widespread in its use here in Europe. But, it's still to be used with extreme caution, as side effects can prove lethal (acute kidney failure, being the main one).
Of course, you can't switch from metacam to anything else without at least a week in between. I wish Ted had just given him steroids right away. He's had them before and tolerates them well. Steroids have almost no problems in cats, you just have to be very careful in how you slowly taper them off. But metacam comes with a big old warning sign saying "YOUR CAT WILL PROBABLY DIE."
So now Charlie has no pain relief or anything for the swelling in his throat, and can't start on anything new for a while.
Poor little fucker. I can't even let him sit on my knee and give him lots of strokes, because he purrs like a tractor whenever I touch him (I'm that amazing) and purring sets off his hiccups/coughing. Seriously, he's so starved for my lap's attention, I gave him a little stroke earlier, and as he curled up to go to sleep he was still purring while dropping off.
Trying very hard not to panic/cry/scream/fall apart. I haven't slept yet. I'll try and get some now.