I've said it time and time again, and it's still an obvious solution going ignored. The ref should ask a direct question, and the VAR should respond. Last night's ref would have said "I'm not sure if it hit his arm or his thigh, can you confirm?" The response would have been "thigh first, onto his arm", and ref would say "cheers for that, no penalty then". VAR should only ever get involved without prompting on off the ball incidents that the ref couldn't have seen; otherwise it's up to the ref to ask for backup because he's not 100% certain, and to say what his on-field decision is and why. E.g. "no penalty because on first viewing I thought the forward left his leg trailing to get the contact", or "penalty because the player had his arms raised and moved towards the ball".
It's supposed to help the ref, the one with ultimate control and authority over the match being played. Instead, it's a 2nd ref in parallel through the match making potentially conflicting decisions over subjective incidents, and the absolute nonsense over going to the monitor = giving way to the VAR is just that, nonsense.