The office 'scolding email' thread

[Sasaferrato]

Fingers crossed for you.

Ditto.

 

[smmudge]

Good luck seeformiles seems its time to move on

 

[StoneRoad]

Good luck seeformiles seems its time to move on

ditto

 

[Artaxerxes]

Dear all, I have put a stop to supplying people with Monitors at home for the time being. Most people are issued with laptops and they all have access to our offices where there are lots of desk spaces with 2 screens, for free. This is the company line going forwards. Many thanks.

(From Teams but it still counts)

 

[mx wcfc]

All of a sudden, the company has sent everyone their work mobile phone statement.
These statements are "purely for information purposes". We are not being asked to pay anything.
Presumably, the company's mobile bill is enormous. Perhaps the purpose is to scare people into using their mobiles less.

Mine comes to £4.67 for December. That's £3.67 line rental, and £1 roaming charges, which presumably was clocked up on the one day I went into the office in December, as the rest of the time it's connected to my broadband at home.

 

[Nikkormat]

Received just now. Not very scolding but it raised a smile.

 

[Artaxerxes]

 

[Silas Loom]

That’s fair. Despite the greengrocer’s apostrophe in the last sentence.

Sounds like a conference production division within a business information outfit that depends on rapid churn of bright youngsters, whose operating model for topic research, speaker recruitment and sponsorship/exhibitions hasn’t really changed since the noughties, and whose leadership is struggling with the weirdness Gen Z has about phones. I sympathise with the writer’s worries, but they will have to adapt eventually. Gen Z won’t stop being weird.

 

[equationgirl]

I had to use headphones in the office to get work done because I just couldn't concentrate otherwise, plus my job at the time involved some quite 'mundane admin tasks'.

I learnt nothing from my more senior colleagues because they were generally not collaborative people. I learnt from the colleagues I worked with frequently not by eavesdropping on other work conversations.

 

[Sapphireblue]

I am strongly of the opinion that email is more effective than speaking to someone (in a work context at least). It's all different work cultures though, you'd have to pry the headphones out of the cold dead hands of most of my colleagues.

 

[andysays]

I don't think I've contributed to the thread before, but this email has prompted me to break my duck

Hi A, Thank you for sending me a copy of your comments in regards to the risk assessments. As you are aware myself and C have been updating these ready for the 1st of April 2024. I am sure you just forgot to copy me into the original email you sent to C with your comments. Thank you for rectifying this error.

Copied not just to C, who is our manager, but also to P, who is the Head of Service

My response

TBH M, I copied in all the people who were copied into the original email which C sent me asking for our comments, which didn't include you. Once C asked me to include you, I did so.

So let's see what response he comes back with.

 

[Silas Loom]

M digs their own grave by copying in P, who presumably has the power to have passive-aggressive thin-skinned weirdos exiled to the Irkutsk office.

 

[andysays]

M digs their own grave by copying in P, who presumably has the power to have passive-aggressive thin-skinned weirdos exiled to the Irkutsk office.

In a better world you'd be right, but unfortunately M's ongoing condescending to those he sees as beneath him and toadying to those above means that he is generally regarded by P as the golden boy of the whole department, so no one way trip to Irkutsk for him just yet.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Never knew andysays works for Mi6

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

View attachment 416673

Bollocks, concentrating hard on a task then some cunt comes blundering along to disrupt your thought process with a phone call that could have simply have been requested by email, but no, Mr Self Important wants seeing to NOW, so they call, demanding you stop whatever it is you're doing and pay attention to them. Screw them people.

 

[Artaxerxes]

View attachment 416734




Bollocks, concentrating hard on a task then some cunt comes blundering along to disrupt your thought process with a phone call that could have simply have been requested by email, but no, Mr Self Important wants seeing to NOW, so they call, demanding you stop whatever it is you're doing and pay attention to them. Screw them people.

Can you (list of things) and then never writing list of things down in the weekly meeting is very very annoying

 

[Silas Loom]

View attachment 416734




Bollocks, concentrating hard on a task then some cunt comes blundering along to disrupt your thought process with a phone call that could have simply have been requested by email, but no, Mr Self Important wants seeing to NOW, so they call, demanding you stop whatever it is you're doing and pay attention to them. Screw them people.

Well, yeah, obviously. But in almost all sectors, an outbound phone sales team will shift more widgets than an email campaign.

 

[andysays]

Never knew andysays works for Mi6

Shit, that's my cover blown

 

[StoneRoad]

View attachment 416734




Bollocks, concentrating hard on a task then some cunt comes blundering along to disrupt your thought process with a phone call that could have simply have been requested by email, but no, Mr Self Important wants seeing to NOW, so they call, demanding you stop whatever it is you're doing and pay attention to them. Screw them people.

Quite agree ...

It's much easier to deal with emails [in and outbound] at a time of my choosing, rather than stop in the middle of a complicated practical task to answer the phone, especially when that task involved other staff - or balancing large bits of timber, for example !

I'll sometimes email clients or colleagues to establish when would be a good time to ring them for a discussion about X or Y ...

 

[Me76]

View attachment 416673

Sympathise with this but sending am email isn't the way to change culture.

 

[equationgirl]

Shit, that's my cover blown

It's ok, we won't tell anybody...

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Sympathise with this but sending am email isn't the way to change culture.

yes. manager ought to have phoned each member of staff to tell them

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

I have mixed thoughts about headphones and emails versus phone calls.

Headphones: I worked in an office a few years ago that was a large open plan office in a converted old listed building, with really high ceilings and wood-panelling really high up the walls. The acoustics were appalling, really dreadful. I found it difficult to concentrate and work in there. It was the worst building in that sense that I'd ever worked in. Haven't had such a problem before or since. I asked for noise cancelling headphones.

I was told I couldn't have noise cancelling headphones because I needed to answer the phones. (It wasn't mentioned at interview that the reception/switchboard role was split between three admin staff (one of which roles remained vacant pretty much the whole year I was there).

Except the other admin often wore headphones, and while I initially assumed she was typing up meeting minutes and workshop notes, I quickly realised that wasn't always the case, when she laughed and I asked what was so funny, thinking it was about a meeting, but it turned out she was listening to a BBC comedy show.

It was super annoying that she'd be slacking, sitting there listening to music or comedy shows, while I had to answer most of the incoming calls, which had a knock-on effect in that I ended up having to work late to do my admin tasks, which I hadn't been able to complete during the day due to switchboard duties, the workload of which should have been spread between three people, but there was a vacant poster, slacker, and me. And I'd tend to get up and answer the doorbell too and deal with whoever turned up to reception.

If someone's wearing headphones to slack off and get out of other tasks, it's really not fair to dump all those tasks on colleagues.

Emails v phone calls:

I'm neurodivergent (autistic) and my preferred medium is emails, my learning style is more visual than aural or kinetic. If I see something, I can more easily remember it, whereas being if I'm being told something it can be in one ear and out the other (unless I make a written note of it).

Tbh, I also prefer to have something in writing because I've been burned before by acting on verbal instructions only to be told 'Who asked you to do that?' 'I didn't say that!' Erm, I made a note on my to do list of what you asked me to do, so that's what I did.

If you communicate by email, it's clearer and less open to misinterpretation.

 

[A380]

View attachment 416673

Tell me you are over 55 managing a load of people in their 20s, without telling me…

 

[Elpenor]

Part of my organisation that’s based at a different site has recently moved to a brand new office:

“I was sadly made aware yesterday that one of our own Move Champions spilled coffee on the first floor carpet and made no attempt to clear it up. I’ve since discovered that another individual took it upon herself to deal with the spillage, not because it was her job but because she feels immensely lucky and proud to be working in this new building after years of putting up with XXX Building and was genuinely offended that someone thought that it was acceptable to leave it”

 

[tim]

The ultimate shit sandwich; you guys are awesome but we'll sack you if you relocate supplies without authorisation.

Hello all! ,



In our ongoing quest to maintain a collaborative and respectful workspace, we'd like to bring up a little something about how we use office supplies, especially in the realm of our hot-desking setup.



Lately, we've noticed a bit of a shuffle with office supplies like mice and other peripherals being passed around desks, causing shortages and inconveniences. To keep the work vibes smooth for everyone, we're reaching out with a gentle nudge and a few friendly guidelines:



Please resist the urge to relocate office goodies between desks. Let's make sure everyone has what they need for a productive day.



While we get that sometimes things need to move, repeated shuffling can throw off our work groove. Let's stick to our values, especially 'care' and treat office supplies with thoughtfulness by returning office supplies to their homes after use, so the next person can dive into their work hassle-free. .



Unauthorized supply relocation might lead to disciplinary action. We're all about maintaining order and fairness in our shared workspace. If you notice any missing supplies, give a shout-out



Thanks a bunch for being awesome collaborators! Together, we can create a workspace that reflects our values and radiates positivity.



I refuse to radiate positivity!

 

[existentialist]

The ultimate shit sandwich; you guys are awesome but we'll sack you if you relocate supplies without authorisation.

Hello all! ,



In our ongoing quest to maintain a collaborative and respectful workspace, we'd like to bring up a little something about how we use office supplies, especially in the realm of our hot-desking setup.



Lately, we've noticed a bit of a shuffle with office supplies like mice and other peripherals being passed around desks, causing shortages and inconveniences. To keep the work vibes smooth for everyone, we're reaching out with a gentle nudge and a few friendly guidelines:



Please resist the urge to relocate office goodies between desks. Let's make sure everyone has what they need for a productive day.



While we get that sometimes things need to move, repeated shuffling can throw off our work groove. Let's stick to our values, especially 'care' and treat office supplies with thoughtfulness by returning office supplies to their homes after use, so the next person can dive into their work hassle-free. .



Unauthorized supply relocation might lead to disciplinary action. We're all about maintaining order and fairness in our shared workspace. If you notice any missing supplies, give a shout-out



Thanks a bunch for being awesome collaborators! Together, we can create a workspace that reflects our values and radiates positivity.



I refuse to radiate positivity!

Jesus H Christ. Someone doesn't know what a room IS, let alone how to read one.

 

[equationgirl]

Since when is a mouse an 'office goodie'? Fucks sake.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Since when is a mouse and 'office goodie'? Fucks sake.

if you're the office cat?

 

[equationgirl]

if you're the office cat?

The only time.