The office 'scolding email' thread

[Me76]

I am confused as to why the 'office goodies' would be moved between desks if all the desks have what is needed.

There must be an underlying issue which is causing the behaviour that is not wanted.

 

[Schmetterling]

The ultimate shit sandwich; you guys are awesome but we'll sack you if you relocate supplies without authorisation.

Hello all! ,



In our ongoing quest to maintain a collaborative and respectful workspace, we'd like to bring up a little something about how we use office supplies, especially in the realm of our hot-desking setup.



Lately, we've noticed a bit of a shuffle with office supplies like mice and other peripherals being passed around desks, causing shortages and inconveniences. To keep the work vibes smooth for everyone, we're reaching out with a gentle nudge and a few friendly guidelines:



Please resist the urge to relocate office goodies between desks. Let's make sure everyone has what they need for a productive day.



While we get that sometimes things need to move, repeated shuffling can throw off our work groove. Let's stick to our values, especially 'care' and treat office supplies with thoughtfulness by returning office supplies to their homes after use, so the next person can dive into their work hassle-free. .



Unauthorized supply relocation might lead to disciplinary action. We're all about maintaining order and fairness in our shared workspace. If you notice any missing supplies, give a shout-out



Thanks a bunch for being awesome collaborators! Together, we can create a workspace that reflects our values and radiates positivity.



I refuse to radiate positivity!

Wankers with their groovy language.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

I am confused as to why the 'office goodies' would be lived between desks if all the desks have what is needed.

There must be an underlying issue which is causing the behaviour that is not wanted.

dunno

possibly people adopting keyboard / mouse / leads from what are supposed to be shared desks?

i'm in the sort of job where i go to the actual office once or twice a month so don't have 'my own' desk so have the choice of book before i go there, then find the desk doesn't have all the kit it should (or it doesn't work) or find a desk that works, get set up, then find someone else has booked it for later

hmph

 

[Mumbles274]

The ultimate shit sandwich; you guys are awesome but we'll sack you if you relocate supplies without authorisation.

Hello all! ,



In our ongoing quest to maintain a collaborative and respectful workspace, we'd like to bring up a little something about how we use office supplies, especially in the realm of our hot-desking setup.



Lately, we've noticed a bit of a shuffle with office supplies like mice and other peripherals being passed around desks, causing shortages and inconveniences. To keep the work vibes smooth for everyone, we're reaching out with a gentle nudge and a few friendly guidelines:



Please resist the urge to relocate office goodies between desks. Let's make sure everyone has what they need for a productive day.



While we get that sometimes things need to move, repeated shuffling can throw off our work groove. Let's stick to our values, especially 'care' and treat office supplies with thoughtfulness by returning office supplies to their homes after use, so the next person can dive into their work hassle-free. .



Unauthorized supply relocation might lead to disciplinary action. We're all about maintaining order and fairness in our shared workspace. If you notice any missing supplies, give a shout-out



Thanks a bunch for being awesome collaborators! Together, we can create a workspace that reflects our values and radiates positivity.



I refuse to radiate positivity!

I just had a little bit of sick in my mouth

 

[Elpenor]

A further update on the new office (not at my site). I believe the hub is some sort of central open area like an atrium.

Our executive team have this week set clear expectations of us all by eating their midday meals in the hub, so please reiterate to your teams that meals are to to be taken in the hub and no meals or snacks are to be eaten in team zones and breakout areas

 

[equationgirl]

A further update on the new office (not at my site). I believe the hub is some sort of central open area like an atrium.

And is the atrium big enough to accommodate everyone who is in the office that day? Is midday now the mandated lunch time? What if you don't bring lunch with you and want to eat out away from office for a change of scene? Is that 'not allowed'? Or errands?

So many questions for an ill thought out 'policy'.

 

[newme]

A further update on the new office (not at my site). I believe the hub is some sort of central open area like an atrium.

I read hub as pub automatically and figured this was going a totally different direction.

 

[kabbes]

It’s the fallout from the new world of hot-desking. People can’t be trusted to eat at their desks without making it all disgusting — greasy, crumby keyboards and wrappers left everywhere. That’s bad enough when it’s their own desk but nobody wants to come into and have to sit surrounded by other people’s filth.

 

[equationgirl]

It’s the fallout from the new world of hot-desking. People can’t be trusted to eat at their desks without making it all disgusting — greasy, crumby keyboards and wrappers left everywhere. That’s bad enough when it’s their own desk but nobody wants to come into and have to sit surrounded by other people’s filth.

It is good practice to move away from your workspace at lunchtime, even if just to a kitchen area, if available. It's the enforced socialisation I have an issue with.

 

[kabbes]

It is good practice to move away from your workspace at lunchtime, even if just to a lot hen area, if available. It's the enforced socialisation I have an issue with.

I think you’re misreading the intent of the email. It’s not saying you’re not allowed out for lunch, it’s saying you’re not allowed to eat at your desk (or in the meeting rooms)

 

[equationgirl]

I think you’re misreading the intent of the email. It’s not saying you’re not allowed out for lunch, it’s saying you’re not allowed to eat at your desk (or in the meeting rooms)

It's saying everyone must eat their lunch together in the hub. I had questions about that.

 

[Elpenor]

And is the atrium big enough to accommodate everyone who is in the office that day? Is midday now the mandated lunch time? What if you don't bring lunch with you and want to eat out away from office for a change of scene? Is that 'not allowed'? Or errands?

So many questions for an ill thought out 'policy'.

I don’t know for sure as I’ve never been there but i understand this office would have staff in on a 24/7 pattern so meal times are what might be called flexible,
I think midday meant the break during your shift rather than being read literally but poor wording

Of course there is no actual catering on site, there are allegedly some vending machines which contain sandwiches and pasties, not sure they sound very appetising

There is also the option of eating outside (presumably some picnic benches) but I reckon a few people will head to their car for some alone time rather than the hub.

 

[Silas Loom]

I reckon a few people will head to their car for some alone time rather than the hub.

Is this commonplace these days? My daughter spends her lunchtimes in her car to avoid colleagues, and it perturbs me slightly.

 

[Elpenor]

Is this commonplace these days? My daughter spends her lunchtimes in her car to avoid colleagues, and it perturbs me slightly.

Yeah a few people do it at my place I think, at my office we have a canteen and a kitchen but nowhere to eat our own food except at our desk so maybe wanting some privacy or quiet when eating.

 

[A380]

The ultimate shit sandwich; you guys are awesome but we'll sack you if you relocate supplies without authorisation.

Hello all! ,



In our ongoing quest to maintain a collaborative and respectful workspace, we'd like to bring up a little something about how we use office supplies, especially in the realm of our hot-desking setup.



Lately, we've noticed a bit of a shuffle with office supplies like mice and other peripherals being passed around desks, causing shortages and inconveniences. To keep the work vibes smooth for everyone, we're reaching out with a gentle nudge and a few friendly guidelines:



Please resist the urge to relocate office goodies between desks. Let's make sure everyone has what they need for a productive day.



While we get that sometimes things need to move, repeated shuffling can throw off our work groove. Let's stick to our values, especially 'care' and treat office supplies with thoughtfulness by returning office supplies to their homes after use, so the next person can dive into their work hassle-free. .



Unauthorized supply relocation might lead to disciplinary action. We're all about maintaining order and fairness in our shared workspace. If you notice any missing supplies, give a shout-out



Thanks a bunch for being awesome collaborators! Together, we can create a workspace that reflects our values and radiates positivity.



I refuse to radiate positivity!

I think there is a stated case that if you stab someone in the face after they use the phrase 'work groove' then it isn't deemed murder or manslaughter by English and Welsh courts.

 

[Elpenor]

Another update from the new office from hell

Someone left the temporary staff entrance door propped open. So the building was not secure. Cue a reminder about security etc.

 

[newme]

Another update from the new office from hell

Someone left the temporary staff entrance door propped open. So the building was not secure. Cue a reminder about security etc.

We got this when it was impossible to get in otherwise as the door scanner was broken, still confused how the first person got in tbh. While 5 floors up it was also accessible to the public and had gov info etc so not ideal.

 

[teuchter]

Is this commonplace these days? My daughter spends her lunchtimes in her car to avoid colleagues, and it perturbs me slightly.

If this is commonplace then it is indeed perturbing.

 

[Elpenor]

Celebrity footballer scolding edition

“I had a good tour around the some of the facilities. I am afraid I was struck in many places by a high degree of untidiness. In particular the IT department which frankly was a disgrace and the dressing rooms of the U18 and U21 were not much better.”

“These standards would not come close to what we would expect at INEOS and we are a chemical company. Manchester United is an elite sporting organisation. It’s a small thing in many ways but unless an organisation has standards and discipline it will not succeed.

“I would be grateful in future if we adopt the proper standards of housekeeping everywhere. It reflects poorly on the club if we have visitors, young player parents, new players and and the media and they see we don’t care enough to keep things shipshape“

‘A disgrace’: Ratcliffe reads riot act after visiting Manchester United facilities

Manchester United’s chief of football operations has railed at a ‘high degree of untidiness’ in the club’s offices and dressing rooms

www.theguardian.com

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Since when is a mouse an 'office goodie'? Fucks sake.

Reminds me of job ads that list 'casual wear' as a job benefit.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Is this commonplace these days? My daughter spends her lunchtimes in her car to avoid colleagues, and it perturbs me slightly.

Is there an issue with workplace bullying or something serious like that?

Alternatively, is your daughter neurodivergent? A lot of ND folk need time to decompress during breaks and after work, because people-ing takes up a lot of spoons* and can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

Or maybe she's just a bit introverted?

 

[baldrick]

Is this commonplace these days? My daughter spends her lunchtimes in her car to avoid colleagues, and it perturbs me slightly.

I used to work at a place that didn't allow meat on site and people used to go to their car at lunch to eat their forbidden ham sandwiches. The fact it got you away from colleagues I think was a bonus

 

[Elpenor]

Is there an issue with workplace bullying or something serious like that?

Alternatively, is your daughter neurodivergent? A lot of ND folk need time to decompress during breaks and after work, because people-ing takes up a lot of spoons* and can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

Or maybe she's just a bit introverted?

Probably more like want somewhere private to make a call, doomscroll whatever

 

[Silas Loom]

Is there an issue with workplace bullying or something serious like that?

Alternatively, is your daughter neurodivergent? A lot of ND folk need time to decompress during breaks and after work, because people-ing takes up a lot of spoons* and can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

Or maybe she's just a bit introverted?

I’m sure it’s not bullying

 

[PR1Berske]

Is this commonplace these days? My daughter spends her lunchtimes in her car to avoid colleagues, and it perturbs me slightly.

One of my managers hides in the downstairs library during lunchtimes.

 

[Orang Utan]

 

[BristolEcho]

Things that don't require effort. Effort.

 

[Ax^]

at least they were prepared with the Sharpie

 

[Skinny Ethel]

The only time.

Office owl or office kestrel. Discrimination.

 

[May Kasahara]

Things that don't require effort:

• Coming up with a meaningless bullshit list
• Tacking it to a door
• Annoying all your colleagues
• Thinking this makes you an amazing manager