The office 'scolding email' thread

[May Kasahara]

FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST IS MANDATORY

YOU WILL NOT DEFY FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST

BREAKFAST MACHT FREI

 

[ruffneck23]

this just in :

I am receiving increased reports about the state of the toilets. It is not acceptable behaviour to use the walls or the floors to wipe your human waste. Please use the toilet roll provided and dispose of this in the correct manner down the toilet

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

this just in :

I am receiving increased reports about the state of the toilets. It is not acceptable behaviour to use the walls or the floors to wipe your human waste. Please use the toilet roll provided and dispose of this in the correct manner down the toilet

Do you work in the Ecuadorian embassy these days?

 

[ruffneck23]

Do you work in the Ecuadorian embassy these days?

no, but it maybe an improvement if I did

 

[quiet guy]

Must be some of the f**kers who use the loos at festivals

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

stupid_cupid

 

[cupid_stunt]

stupid_cupid

Oi, motherfucker.

 

[Pickman's model]

i'm sorry i can't show you the gem my manager showed me just now about our divisional hr, who had arranged interviews at an outlying site and omitted to invite any of the actual candidates. this came as a surprise to the panel when they arrived this morning.

 

[Badgers]

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[cybershot]

View attachment 174192

Can I use it next?

 

[Pickman's model]

Can I use it next?

It's got to come round to me first but I'll send it to you after

 

[Pickman's model]

i feel like sending a scolding email myself in response to this

 

[equationgirl]

I would send something suitably withering, Pickman's model.

 

[8ball]

I should have taken a photo, but in our work fridge we had 3 post-it notes on one food item:

i) DO NOT EAT
ii) I wouldn't want to!
iii) I tried some - it was ok

 

[cybershot]

i feel like sending a scolding email myself in response to this
View attachment 174545

Was this sent to Badgers so he's aware of what's been going on in the daily breakfasts?

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[extra dry]

Rather suspect stain on the right glove, proves you where one who discovered someones coffee mug in the dark.

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[equationgirl]

View attachment 180806

Lots of credit catd problems at your place, think the tone of the email is far too gentle, considering.

 

[8ball]

FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST IS MANDATORY

YOU WILL NOT DEFY FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST

Aside from that, what are the other notable aspects of working in North Korea?

 

[trashpony]

I don’t know if you have to know the people concerned to find this amusing but this exchange is each of them to a T. And I know umbrella holder will be raging but won’t be able to say anything because the person that gave it away is the boss

 

[equationgirl]

OH no, that's quite funny trashpony

 

[Orang Utan]

there's ALWAYS someone who actually buys an umbrella, instead of finding one somewhere. I've got three!

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[StoneRoad]

Need some withering wording to put up in the kitchen at work, I've left it to see just how dirty the guys will allow it to get before one of them does any cleaning, other than rinse cups ...

Currently, everything is disgusting.

Suggestions ?

 

[Lazy Llama]

Suggestions ?

BIOHAZARD RESEARCH PROJECT
-= Do Not Enter =-

 

[a_chap]

View attachment 181063

Poor effort. This isn't a scolding email at all

Leaking coffee machine? It's not even a scalding email...

 

[existentialist]

Need some withering wording to put up in the kitchen at work, I've left it to see just how dirty the guys will allow it to get before one of them does any cleaning, other than rinse cups ...

Currently, everything is disgusting.

Suggestions ?

I suggest you put something just like that.

EXPERIMENT

We are conducting an experiment to discover just how disgusting it is possible for this kitchen to get before spontaneous action occurs.

Your co-operation in this experiment will be most appreciated.
​

 

[existentialist]

Poor effort. This isn't a scolding email at all

Leaking coffee machine? It's not even a scalding email...

Here all week?