The office 'scolding email' thread

[StoneRoad]

I might combine the ideas from both Lazy Llama and existentialist ...

I'm sure I can find either a radiation or a biohazard sign ...

 

[sorearm]

The recycling war continues


... marks for red all capitals ... deducted marks for lack of emoticons or exclamation marks

 

[Johnny Doe]

FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST IS MANDATORY

YOU WILL NOT DEFY FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST

WHY DON'T PEOPLE IN THEIR 30s JOIN FRIENDLY COMMUNAL BREAKFAST GROUPS!!!!

 

[Pickman's model]

a pre-scolding email

there is much wailing at the new spending regime

 

[smmudge]

a pre-scolding email
View attachment 182228
there is much wailing at the new spending regime

Because they can't buy their travel insurance or 1am drunken Amazon purchases on it anymore?

 

[Pickman's model]

Because they can't buy their travel insurance or 1am drunken Amazon purchases on it anymore?

yeh it's a great disappointment for so many colleagues and the key for the poison cupboard has never been in such demand

 

[equationgirl]

Well it's not like they weren't warned this would happen. Suspect it's the same person using it for illicit purchases.

 

[8115]

Nearly sent an email today with a picture of the washing up saying:

I feel like I am doing a lot of washing up. Do your own washing up.

Only the thought of this thread stopped me.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Nearly sent an email today with a picture of the washing up saying:

I feel like I am doing a lot of washing up. Do your own washing up.

Only the thought of this thread stopped me.

passive aggressive notice on the kitchen wall / cupboard / fridge instead.

bonus points for green ink and / or comic fucking sans

 

[Pickman's model]

.

 

[Pickman's model]

further to my email about the poison cupboard, a reminder of safety information. emphasis added

 

[equationgirl]

Pickman's model please point out to the author that out of hours has not been properly defined. It should be from 7pm to 7 am, and all weekend.

 

[tim]

Pickman's model please point out to the author that out of hours has not been properly defined. It should be from 7pm to 7 am, and all weekend.

Pickman's model The arcane mysteries of the Poison Cupboard really deserves their own dedicated thread.

 

[equationgirl]

Pickman's model The arcane mysteries of the Poison Cupboard really deserves their own dedicated thread.

Better than Harry Potter.

 

[ash]

When CAN I open the bloody door :

 

[Orang Utan]

Someone at work has caused an atmosphere of resentment and bitter recriminations by putting the spoons in the drainer the other way round to everyone else.

 

[LeytonCatLady]

Someone at work has caused an atmosphere of resentment and bitter recriminations by putting the spoons in the drainer the other way round to everyone else.

Oh no! We're all doomed!

 

[Pickman's model]

Someone at work has caused an atmosphere of resentment and bitter recriminations by putting the spoons in the drainer the other way round to everyone else.

do you agree with the majority of your colleagues or have you boldly struck out on your own?

 

[Orang Utan]

do you agree with the majority of your colleagues or have you boldly struck out on your own?

I agree with them, but the person does have a point. I can't see it being settled amicably though.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Have we had this one?

 

[existentialist]

Have we had this one?

View attachment 188630

Heartfelt.

 

[equationgirl]

I give points for clarity of rage.

 

[iona]

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[marty21]

Meanwhile at HQ, the staff can't make up their mind whether it is too hot, or too cold in the building , and also how we can save the planet. All via our internal Yammer system.

5th floor is boiling hot and stuffy this morning. As well as removing plastic items from the kitchen we should not be overheating the building, to save the planet. Please can this be resolved.

Come down to the 3rd floor -here is colder than North Pole. My chair has already turned into an arctic ice.

and others are outraged about 'WFH'

Don't even get me started on homeworking!! Some staff are not allowed to WFH more than 1 day a week but in other departments they are allowed to WFH 4-5 days a week! Even in teams where people do the same jobs they are not allowed the same WFH rights. How on earth does that work? There is absoultely no equity in the scheme and it very miuch depends on your manager or the department you work in.

It's all kicking off at HQ -

 

[equationgirl]

Unequal working from home privileges was a contentious issue at my last employer. Company policy was that no-one was supposed to do it without prior authorisation. I once was authorised to work from home for four Fridays as part of a return to work plan after serious illness, and to obtain authorisation HR and Health and Safety people came to my flat to check my computer set up.

Other people would just randomly email in saying they were working from home, some wouldn't even do that.

One person has worked from home for two years as they are unable to travel.

At my current company, everyone apart from the the junior admin can work from home, as someone is required to be in the offices for external visitors.

It doesn't need to be contentious if handled fairly and the job allows remote working. Some jobs don't.

 

[friedaweed]

Not a scolding email but this made me laugh at a place I've just visited.

 

[Pickman's model]

cardgate rumbles on equationgirl

 

[Orang Utan]

Openly anti-semitic/islamophobic sentiments were expressed today by a colleague. I said 'stop that right now' and walked away, which is a bit lame I suppose. But I didn't want to have an enervating conversation with someone so ignorant.

 

[Pickman's model]

Openly anti-semitic/islamophobic sentiments were expressed today by a colleague. I said 'stop that right now' and walked away, which is a bit lame I suppose. But I didn't want to have an enervating conversation with someone so ignorant.

you need to make sure people have stopped it, which sadly entails remaining in their vicinity for a few minutes.