The office 'scolding email' thread

[Silas Loom]

View attachment 121192

Poor Lesley. Does she have a photo of her cat on her desk?

 

[Winot]

Poor Lesley. Does she have a photo of her cat on her desk?

There isn't room - she just has a big pot of exclamation marks in case she runs out when sending emails.

 

[teuchter]

Have you bought your festive jumper yet Winot ?

 

[Winot]

Have you bought your festive jumper yet Winot ?

No but I have had to unexpectedly change my annual leave from 15 to 14 December.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Lesley's legend

 

[Artaxerxes]

From: Reception
Sent: 28 November 2017 11:30
To: All office
Subject: FW: Personal packages
Importance: High

Hi All,


The below email was sent out a couple of weeks ago, however we are still receiving the same amount of personal packages on a daily basis.


We have been accepting these, in case some had been ordered before the below had been communicated, but as of tomorrow, we will no longer be taking in packages.


Thanks,


Reception

__________________

From: Reception
Sent: 07 November 2017 15:41
To: All office
Subject: Personal packages
Importance: High


Good Afternoon All,


This is a gentle reminder regarding personal packages being delivered to the office. As communicated when we first moved here, personal packages should not be sent here. This is due to lack of facilities to store these, as well as taking into consideration the headcount. This is also including any outgoing packages.


Recently we have been accepting personal packages to assist where we can. However, with the busy Xmas period fast approaching, unfortunately, we will have to stop this altogether.


There are other options when purchasing online. Eg. “Leave with a neighbour” or “ Click and Collect” at a convenient location.

The festive spirit is strong here.

 

[cybershot]

I'm sure they won't mind their workers therefore taking longer than their usual lunch break to nip off to the local Amazon locker/other locker/doddle/shop/post office to collect their parcels.

 

[Artaxerxes]

They sent an email out 30 minutes later asking if anyone was going to a nearby office today, presumably as they have post to pass to that office.


I nearly copy/pasted the email back at them.

 

[mx wcfc]

There was a breakfast meeting today. After it finished, an email came round

"There are some leftover bacon rolls in the kitchen".

This was followed a minute or so later by:-

"Please remember you are not allowed to eat hot food at your desks"

I don't know what the problem was. The rolls were lukewarm at best by the time we were allowed at them.

 

[Badgers]

Tis the season...

 

[Badgers]

(((Dean)))

 

[Pickman's model]

(((Dean)))

View attachment 121725

harsh to imprison people in the warehouse

 

[cybershot]

Maybe the Christmas party could be moved to the warehouse!

 

[Badgers]

Maybe the Christmas party could be moved to the warehouse!

That is where the summer one was

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[Pickman's model]

Maybe the Christmas party could be moved to the warehouse!

could be quite the spot for an xmas rave

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I can put my flimsy excuses for not participating back in the box for another year, a custom made solution has arrived...

 

[Teaboy]

I can put my flimsy excuses for not participating back in the box for another year, a custom made solution has arrived...

View attachment 121757

I thought you ran your own business. Do you do secret santa with yourself?

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I thought you ran your own business. Do you do secret santa with yourself?

Affiliated with another, much larger thing in London and New York, so can join in with the fun that the UK social committee* generates on an almost hourly basis.



*never laid eyes on any of 'em.

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[Schmetterling]

View attachment 121864

I reckon the mice have taken the toaster.

 

[cybershot]

A) Would you not ask the fire officer before sending the email...
B) If the toaster is banned, why the fuck is it still there anyway.

 

[Pickman's model]

A) Would you not ask the fire officer before sending the email...
B) If the toaster is banned, why the fuck is it still there anyway.

fuck knows. it's been something of a long-running saga

 

[Poi E]

Slow burning.

 

[cupid_stunt]

fuck knows. it's been something of a long-running saga

Sounds like it time to start photoshopping the missing toaster into various famous locations around the world, to document its travels.

 

[Poi E]

How it pops up everywhere?

 

[a_chap]

No matter how you slice it the toaster's gone forever. Unless you could butter-up whoever sent the email. Either way it's pretty crummy.

etc, etc...

 

[Poi E]

You're in your element.

 

[existentialist]

A) Would you not ask the fire officer before sending the email...
B) If the toaster is banned, why the fuck is it still there anyway.

More importantly, why is someone sending out emails containing the phrase "from myself" without their being killed as an example to others?

 

[A380]

You're in your element.

I salute you!