The Betting Shop II

[ernestolynch]

*Bangs on perspex screen in slow, rhythmic fashion*

 

[Pickman's model]

*hands ernie a cloth coin bag to use as a hood*

 

[ernestolynch]

*Whistles 'Men Behind the Wire' as hood is placed over the tearful flimsier's noggin*

 

[past caring]

*gives past caring copies of the reservoir dogs and pulp fiction soundtracks. and a baseball bat.*

Bollocks to that

*sticks on Hasil Adkins "We Got a Date" instead. Laughs manically*

 

[Pickman's model]

*gives ernie a straitjacket, so flailing arms don't disturb the solemnity of the occasion*

 

[marty21]

is someone going to play the last post?

 

[ernestolynch]

is someone going to play the last post?

That's only for heroes.

 

[Pickman's model]

is someone going to play the last post?

i'll collect it from the sorting office.

 

[past caring]

*lays out toolbag on the jump. Takes time over selection - precision is required*

 

[Pickman's model]

*opens book on length of lively dangle*

 

[marty21]

will he be well hung?

 

[ernestolynch]

*Offers free drinks (till 7pm) at Lynch's if flim does a full minute of the Tyburn Jig*

 

[Pickman's model]

will he be well hung?

you can see after.

 

[marty21]

he's a big fellah you know, he might snap the rope

 

[Pickman's model]

he's a big fellah you know, he might snap the rope

would you mind helping us with a test?

 

[ernestolynch]

He's just reduced his weight by a pound and a half though.
*Holds nose*

 

[past caring]

*opens book on length of lively dangle*

*places a ton on 8 hours plus.*

I'm gonna do him slow, lads.

The only thing in doubt is whether he cheats us this one last time.

 

[Pickman's model]

reminds me of the joke about ross mcwhirter!

 

[ernestolynch]

*Grabs marty21 in an armlock*

 

[marty21]

would you mind helping us with a test?

i have it on good authority that you're about the same size

 

[ernestolynch]

reminds me of the joke about ross mcwhirter!

Go on?

 

[Pickman's model]

The only thing in doubt is whether he cheats us this one last time.

*checks f's mouth for hidden cyanide pills*

 

[Pickman's model]

Go on?

q: norris, who holds the record for the world's biggest dump?

norris mcwhirter: my brother, in 1975, when he opened the door to find the ira there.

 

[ernestolynch]

*Kicks f sharply in ribs and shows him marty21, teeter-tottering on chair*

 

[marty21]

*manages to escape, pick up a butcher outfit and cleaver, and chases a dog down the road who has stolen his best sausages, with plod following behind blowing a whistle*

*if someone only had a camera*

 

[ernestolynch]

*Shrugs, and walks over to oddjob*

 

[Pickman's model]

*fells marty21 with a well-aimed boomerang, and drags him screaming back to the betting shop*

 

[ernestolynch]

*Finds home addresses of Teejay and the B in f's wallet*
*Sniggers*

 

[marty21]

*remembers he has ernie's matches, and spots some spilled fuel*

 

[past caring]

*Takes cleaver from marty - "We'll be needing that son"

Thinks - "Sausages, hmmmm, I wonder....." *