Artaxerxes
Look out, he's got a gnu!
They're missing a trick if they don't sort out a proper food-and-drink concession; perhaps call it the Juwes Bar, offer a Traditional East End Mixed Grill - complete with kidneys (full of all that irony goodness), natch - artisanal gin, boutique pie'n'mash etc. Ten pee from every meal order to go to some wimmin's charity or other to keep The Ladies from getting too hysterical.
Gonorrhea salsa on every burger, with a glass of tupenny upright to wash it down.