london's worst clubs

[TitanSound]

Elbow Rooms - played pool and saw Arthur Baker there, IIRC. Salmon and Compass - had some ok nights there too.....

My friend used to do a regular breakbeat night there, was awesome. Same at the Salmon and how I got the job.

 

[Big Gunz]

Its an oceana now and as shit as ever, but at least they have sorted out the sticky floor that used to try and suck the shoes off your feet.

A fucking Oceana

 

[Greebo]

Its an oceana now and as shit as ever, but at least they have sorted out the sticky floor that used to try and suck the shoes off your feet.

When will the owners learn that refreshing the decor and changing the name doesn't make it less shit? It's the only nightclub in town. It's beside a fucking lanscaped pond (which was the village duckpond way back in the year dot). It's next door, gods help it, to Iceland. And there's better accoustics for live music across the roundabout at the colisseum (part of the Town Hall).

 

[BarbedWire303]

Talking of Peckham - Chicago's. Tbf, I never got in to see if it was any good because it meant dodging the ricocheting bullets outside.

Closest I ever got to clubbing in Peckham was those Future Dance raves down the Old Kent Road in the early 2000s, damn good they were too

 

[Big Gunz]

When will the owners learn that refreshing the decor and changing the name doesn't make it less shit? It's the only nightclub in town.

Well there was Area although I have no idea if it still exists. It was a lot better (by Watford standards) I even pulled one of my ex's there.

 

[Pickman's model]

is that club up tottenham still going, the one which sends out invites to everyone for their 18th birthday? think it was called the ritzy back in the day.

 

[ska invita]

Jazz funk all night and a compulsory erection section at the end

Compulsory what now?

 

[red rose]

THAT Club/House and Terrace/Studio 338 next to the southern approach to the Blackwall Tunnel.

Dodgy as fuck

 

[ska invita]

Cats Whiskers in Streaham. I am sure you are aware of it’s work.

Thank fuck for acid house.

Fabio and Grooverider talk about going there as punters, doing jazz funk dancing in their winklepickers and so on...thats all i know about it...tell us more GIles

 

[ska invita]

THAT Club/House and Terrace/Studio 338 next to the southern approach to the Blackwall Tunnel.

Dodgy as fuck

Definitely not one for tourists - i bet they have some high times in there though - i wont be going to find out

 

[ska invita]

the stunning Dicey Reilly's on top of Neadsen precinct.

Sounds amazing

 

[Ron Merlin]

Compulsory what now?

Slow dance bit before they chuck everyone out. Also known as the rejection section.

 

[Ron Merlin]

is that club up tottenham still going, the one which sends out invites to everyone for their 18th birthday? think it was called the ritzy back in the day.

It's a church now. I used to go there in the 80s. Proper jacket, no jeans or trainers. Arsey bouncers. Fucking awful place!

 

[moody]

What's that place top end of grays inn road where you walk thro the entrance, up a little slope, metal detector, and club downstairs.

Went there on a Sunday afternoon many years ago.

 

[sleaterkinney]

There was a place on the Hendon Way, near Hendon Central tube. I forget the name. It was above a restaurant and seemed to be entirely populated by teenagers. Me and my mate kinda vaguely knew it was a bit crap, but didn't know the full horror until we got inside. It was a school disco with booze. Awful. Suffice to say we never went back.

I did a couple of nights behind the bar at An Poitin Stil, the pub next door and a night up there. It was a bit grim but the place down the road, I think it was called Shotz or something was worse.

 

[Cowley]

Gone but never forgotten

Caesars, Streatham Hill. This place was tragic, Saturday nights...dear oh dear, dodgy music and dodgy clientele. If you ever wanted to pull a "DOG" this was the place to be apparently! Any age will do from 15 to 50!!!

 

[DJWrongspeed]

Caesars, Streatham Hill. This place was tragic, Saturday nights...dear oh dear, dodgy music and dodgy clientele. If you ever wanted to pull a "DOG" this was the place to be apparently! Any age will do from 15 to 50!!!

It's iconic chariot really put Streatham on the cultural map. I'm sad it's gone. I guess that block is lined up for some grand, bland redvelopment.

 

[mattyboi]

rattlers, enfield cant believe this shit hole (although now closed), has not already been mentioned!

 

[WWWeed]

I think a new contender for worst club has to be the Great Suffolk Street warehouse carpark.

Porta-loos, a table for a bar, puddles and rain dripping every where, really dodgy security.

Anyone been?

 

[DJWrongspeed]

I don't know why Village Underground is doing so well ?
Went to a gig there. Terrible acoustics, overpriced drinks, heavy security, weird layout. I guess it's just geography, Shoreditch innit.

XOYO by comparison is a paradise.

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

I don't know why Village Underground is doing so well ?
Went to a gig there. Terrible acoustics, overpriced drinks, heavy security, weird layout. I guess it's just geography, Shoreditch innit.

They're getting good line-ups. I agree it's not great though tbh - also it kicks out at 2-3am which is a pain in the arse. Either an earlier 'gig' time so you can get the late train or a 6am 'club' time would be fine but that's an irritating middle ground.

 

[ska invita]

I think a new contender for worst club has to be the Great Suffolk Street warehouse carpark.

Porta-loos, a table for a bar, puddles and rain dripping every where, really dodgy security.

Anyone been?

but its a car-park in east london - how cool is that?

I don't know why Village Underground is doing so well ?
Went to a gig there. Terrible acoustics, overpriced drinks, heavy security, weird layout. I guess it's just geography, Shoreditch innit.

XOYO by comparison is a paradise.

but its a warehouse in east london - how cool is that?

ive only been to aba shanti at Village Undergound and the additional reverb of the room added any extra level of church-power to proceedings

 

[pesh]

Definitely not one for tourists - i bet they have some high times in there though - i wont be going to find out

i worked at a party there this weekend, great atmosphere and thought it was a really cool venue, especially in the morning as dawn broke. then again, i've always enjoyed the Great Suffolk St carpark too. i may have very low standards. or good drugs. i do agree that Village Underground is a waste of a beautiful building.

 

[ska invita]

i worked at a party there this weekend, great atmosphere and thought it was a really cool venue, especially in the morning as dawn broke. then again, i've always enjoyed the Great Suffolk St carpark too. i may have very low standards. or good drugs. i do agree that Village Underground is a waste of a beautiful building.

looks great - and tbf, the dodginess coming off it could be good thing - the only nights ive seen advertised for it are shitty house nights though - that looks a bit more having it. I know theres been a bit of trouble around it - a stabbing at the bus stop IIRC, but that can happen anywhere.

what was your night up to?

 

[pesh]

pie-trance, so it was always going to be fairly fluffy, security were a bit bemused by it all, got the impression they were used to much harder nights there.

 

[el-ahrairah]

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/londons-lost-clubs

*waves to vice*

 

[cantsin]

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/londons-lost-clubs

*waves to vice*

lol, gave me a bit of shock scrolling down the article and seeing Pickman's being quoted bold as brass.... - do like that Thug Clive lad's stuff.

 

[editor]

So a Vice magazine article has been inspired by this very thread!

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/londons-lost-clubs

 

[Pickman's model]

So a Vice magazine article has been inspired by this very thread!

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/londons-lost-clubs

 

[ska invita]

NIce to see journalists giving their source for once