Great Father Ted quotes
- Thread starter stavros
- Start date
onenameshelley
is Major Morgan's bitch
Voice on tannoy at Craggy Island Fair "If there's a nurse here could she please come to the Tunnel of Goats where a young boy has become stuck"
2 minutes later on same tannoy "If there's another nurse on the island, could she please come to the Tunnel of Goats where a young boy and a nurse have become stuck"
Yup all time fav that one
kittyP
Pluviophile
Something along the lines of......
Ted: "Now you know Bishop (someone) has just got out of hospital after suffering a heart attack. There can be no sudden noises......
......
Dougal "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
"I just remembered Aliens is on"
Ted: "We are not watching Aliens, the bishops are here."
Dougal "Ah come on Ted, bishops love Aliens!"
Ted: "Now you know Bishop (someone) has just got out of hospital after suffering a heart attack. There can be no sudden noises......
......
Dougal "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
"I just remembered Aliens is on"
Ted: "We are not watching Aliens, the bishops are here."
Dougal "Ah come on Ted, bishops love Aliens!"
Juice Terry
rama lama fa fa fa
Father Dougal: "Because of the beast. They say it's as big as four cats, and it's got a retractable leg so as it can leap up at you better and you know what Ted, it lights up at night, and it's got four ears. Two of them are for listening and the other two are kind of back-up ears, and it's claws are as big as cups and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps and Mrs. Doyle was tellin' me that it's got magnets on it's tail so as if you're made out of metal it can attach itself to you, and instead of a mouth it's got four arses."
PacificOcean
Unhinged User
"Don't call me Len. I am a bishop you little bollock"
The Groke
hot hail/Paging Dr. Beat
kyser_soze
Hawking's Angry Eyebrow
'So you see Dougal, these cows are very small. These cows over here are far away.'
PacificOcean
Unhinged User
"Mary, so help me God woman! Now get those fecking Crunchies out the car"
"Feck off"
Both together: "Father! How are you?"
*kisses Mary's head"
It's funny as my summer youth spent at gran's in Ireland backs up this quirk of rowing couples never letting their emotions show in front of the priest.
"Feck off"
Both together: "Father! How are you?"
*kisses Mary's head"
It's funny as my summer youth spent at gran's in Ireland backs up this quirk of rowing couples never letting their emotions show in front of the priest.
5t3IIa
Registered User
the button
out on the kocker
"Ruud Gullitt sitting on a shed."
(Dougal's advent calendar picture guess).
(Dougal's advent calendar picture guess).
Lol...I was going to right that one...hilarious
damnhippie
shark sandwich
father jack sobers up:
'am I still on this FECKING ISLAND?!'
'am I still on this FECKING ISLAND?!'
elevendayempire
Registered Loofah
Feck off, brick! Bored with briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!
8den
No I'm pretty sure that was 8ball...
Eoin McLove: (shouting at a large crowd of elderly ladies) Go away! I don't want to catch the menopause!
----
Father Dougal: God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's going to come back and judge us all.
Father Ted: No...no Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism you're talking about there.
----
Father Ted Crilly: Ah, Sister Assumpta!
Sr. Assumpta: Hello Father!
Father Ted Crilly: Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?
Father Dougal McGuire: Er, no.
Father Dougal McGuire: She was here last year! And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do! And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal!
[Dougal shakes his head]
Sr. Assumpta: And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you!... And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?
Father Ted Crilly: Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers?
[Dougal shakes his head some more]
Father Ted Crilly: You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.
Father Dougal McGuire: Ah, Sister Assumpta!
-----
----
Father Dougal: God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's going to come back and judge us all.
Father Ted: No...no Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism you're talking about there.
----
Father Ted Crilly: Ah, Sister Assumpta!
Sr. Assumpta: Hello Father!
Father Ted Crilly: Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?
Father Dougal McGuire: Er, no.
Father Dougal McGuire: She was here last year! And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do! And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal!
[Dougal shakes his head]
Sr. Assumpta: And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you!... And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?
Father Ted Crilly: Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers?
[Dougal shakes his head some more]
Father Ted Crilly: You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.
Father Dougal McGuire: Ah, Sister Assumpta!
-----
pootle
little moran
Hell - Best. Episode. Evar!
Woollyredhat
Active Member
Some great quotes there, love the Father stack one as well
Another great moment, can't remember the episoide is the one with Dougal and the van rigged with a bomb. Must watch some of Ted after this!
Another great moment, can't remember the episoide is the one with Dougal and the van rigged with a bomb. Must watch some of Ted after this!
Similar threads
