GB News: a thread so you never have to watch it

[Jeff Robinson]

This is the first time I've quoted a tweet from GB News, but I think this one is justified.

I know this guy is actually a comedian IRL, but I am fairly sure he's not taking the piss here, I think he actually believes in the delusional bullshit he spews out, in this egotistical monologue, with a script that the 'Drop the Dead Donkey' team would be proud of, it's a real treasure trove of complete lunacy.

 

[existentialist]

TBF, I think the Iraqi guy has a much better comedic delivery...

 

[marty21]

Neil Oliver ffs

#holdtheline nonsense on the twitter, apparently he did a lecture for the anti-vax mob , they are all over the #holdtheline shite .

 

[not a trot]

Boat trip on Loch Lomond yesterday. Weather was Shute. On the subject of Shute, the onboard commentary was courtesy of Neil Oliver.

 

[cupid_stunt]

This is worth reading in full.

Part of the problem is that instead of presenting the viewer with news events which they can, in turn, process into views or opinions, GB News runs the opposite way. It essentially presents the same rotating set of views and opinions, which are flimsily triggered by a trawl of news events, no matter how spurious. Some of these totemic views include: we don’t like Meghan and Harry, being woke is bad, cancel culture is bad, lockdowns are a disgrace, green or BLM activists are dangerous idiots and, lastly, vaccines and climate change: hmm, not sure, we haven’t totally made our minds up yet.

Three men set the tone for what GB News currently is, and where it could be going in the future if it’s able to limp on much further.

First up is Farage, who strangely undercuts his legitimate status as a formidable political achiever by having some of the most gimmicky TV ideas this side of an Alan Partridge pitch meeting. His daily hour-long show features a segment called Barrage the Farage, where he takes Twitter questions from his fans (which he stresses he has definitely not seen in advance). Who needs a prior peek when they’re as bumlickingly banal as: “How do you keep going even though you wake up at 5am every morning, Nigel?” Then there’s WTF – What The Farage, wherein Nige tells us what’s got his goat today (giving BLM training to the NHS is dangerous Marxism, that kind of thing). The really surreal one though is Talking Pints, which is a chummy chat at a conventional news studio desk featuring, well, pints. Pints, right there, on the desk. I love drinking and I love news, but my God, it’s a sad sight to see them combined like that. If other countries still run those TV shows that play clips from weird and wacky foreign telly, Talking Pints is surely the one they’ll use to have a big fat laugh at Britain today.

If Farage is getting some small sips in at 7pm, by 10pm GB News is a slurring, ranting mess of a network. This is when Dan Wootton takes over and pushes the tone of GB News to new lows. Wootton is the kind of nightly TV host and MailOnline columnist who has the stones to cry: “Why is nobody talking about this?!” while simultaneously, y’know, talking about this. He speaks softly and slowly at the end of sentences for creepy, disapproving effect, a bit like Margaret Thatcher used to. His twisted obsession with Meghan Markle borders on the deranged, while his introduction of guest Neil Fox as a “broadcasting legend” proves he actually is deranged. He’s only really consistent on the subject of drugs: at once being full of alarming, vaccine-hesitant rhetoric and also shocked and appalled that people use cocaine (worth noting that even the tabloids have shied away from this form of faux disapproval in recent years, aware of the hypocrisy of everyone from cabinet ministers down being open about using it). It is, for my money, the worst TV show I can remember seeing. At points, it reminded me of being bullied as a kid.

Thomas Hedley Fairfax Harwood is just 25, and permanently dresses like he’s three proseccos down at a posh wedding. He has the genuine political savvy and know-it-all-ness of a Westminster journalist in their mid-forties, but crucially, he has the opinions and life outlook of a jaded 88-year-old retired colonel. As recently as 2016, he was just a second-year student at Durham Uni, making a name for himself online by standing as a “satirical” joke candidate for the NUS who pledged to defeat Isis and claimed Harambe, the silverback gorilla who launched a thousand internet memes, as a supporter. After working for right-wing politics site Guido Fawkes, he’s now both a host and a constant onscreen presence on GB News. He’s articulate, knowledgeable, good-looking and deeply obnoxious all at once. He can pass as a normal, impartial journalist for minutes at a time, before suddenly turning on a dime and blithely referring to “horrible south London tower blocks” in a segment about housing, or advocating vigilante justice and “biffing” Insulate Britain protestors (seriously though, who says “biffing”?) before the police rip the insulation from their own houses, just to spite them.

Well, that's those three ripped to bits.

Why GB News was always going to be a chaotic and hateful mess

Beyond the diva dramas at GB News, does anyone even know what the station is showing 100 days since its launch? Oliver Keens watched for a week and found a channel waiting to be steamrollered by Rupert Murdoch and Piers Morgan

www.independent.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

,but I would rather set my balls on fire.

 

[8ball]

Neil Oliver ffs

#holdtheline nonsense on the twitter, apparently he did a lecture for the anti-vax mob , they are all over the #holdtheline shite .

Not aware of that - Google suggests that hashtag has been linked to all manner of things including journalists’ rights, church youth outreach groups, cyber crime doohickies…

 

[8ball]

Oh, lovely cut to ads in the middle of the weather forecast.

 

[moochedit]

Oh, lovely cut to ads in the middle of the weather forecast.

Are their weather forecasts like the daily express with constant claims of a heatwave/snow blizzard due every week?

 

[8ball]

Are their weather forecasts like the daily express with constant claims of a heatwave/snow blizzard due every week?

Well, there was a fair amount of rain forecast and then a strong recommendation to buy some South African biltong…

They seem to be on the money about the rain, and they also disapprove of murder quite strongly so maybe things are looking up for the quality of their journalism.

 

[brogdale]

Are their weather forecasts like the daily express with constant claims of a heatwave/snow blizzard due every week?

all cloud formations that look like the QoOH and stuff...

 

[8ball]

all cloud formations that look like the QoOH and stuff...

View attachment 290760

Isn’t that a kitten with an axe?

 

[brogdale]

Isn’t that a kitten with an axe?

What are you, some sort of filthy republican or summat?



To see is to believe that she's looking over us from heaven.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Are their weather forecasts like the daily express with constant claims of a heatwave/snow blizzard due every week?

No, the weather forecasts are provided by the Met office.

Basically they are the only part of their output that isn't made up.

 

[elbows]

No, the weather forecasts are provided by the Met office.

Basically they are the only part of their output that isn't made up.

They need to be accurate so that if Farage goes flying, he doesnt get into any weather-related accidents.

 

[moochedit]

They need to be accurate so that if Farage goes flying, he doesnt get into any weather-related accidents.

Or if he went on a boat. I mean he wouldn't want to have to call the RNLI out would he?

 

[8ball]

What are you, some sort of filthy republican or summat?

View attachment 290761

To see is to believe that she's looking over us from heaven.

I’ve tried, but I’m still just getting a kitten with an axe.

 

[Raheem]

I’ve tried, but I’m still just getting a kitten with an axe.

I see it. It's wearing either flying goggles or a Zorro mask.

 

[8ball]

I see it. It's wearing either flying goggles or a Zorro mask.

Def flying goggles.

 

[8ball]

Ah yes, full weather forecast now.

And a Sky advert. Picking up customers for when the channel collapses, no doubt.

 

[8ball]

Don McLean on now and he is so off message (very eco-worried and pro-vax) but Dan Wootton is trying so hard to be nice.

I think GB News had no idea what he was about and vice versa.

 

[josef1878 2.0]

Is that the man of Crackerjack with the emu?

 

[8ball]

Is that the man of Crackerjack with the emu?

American Pie.

You mean Don Maclean.

 

[Dom Traynor]

Imagine Rod Hull and Emu doing a cover of American Pie.

 

[marty21]

Imagine Rod Hull and Emu doing a cover of American Pie.

Would have been a smash hit in the 80s tbf , blown that fucking Orville out of the water.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I see their captions are still shit, leading academics are doing what?



It's all going so well.

 

[krtek a houby]

I see their captions are still shit, leading academics are doing what?

View attachment 290796

It's all going so well.

A "laugh campaign" sounds innovative, mind

 

[BristolEcho]

I see their captions are still shit, leading academics are doing what?

View attachment 290796

It's all going so well.

Do you know what the story was about?

 

[Leafster]

I see their captions are still shit, leading academics are doing what?

View attachment 290796

It's all going so well.

It's when you fail to launch something properly and everyone laughs at you.

Something GB News knows all about.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Do you know what the story was about?

No idea, someone just sent me that image on whatsapp.