GB News: a thread so you never have to watch it

[ItWillNeverWork]

I usually don't like blaming sound engineers and other techy bods, but blimey, it's like they're employing work experience kids behind the scenes

 

[Santino]

The worst scenario for them would be big viewing numbers in the first few days followed by a massive drop, so the more people that try it out and then never come back the better.

It would be worse for them if no one ever watched them or mentioned them, and they all got scurvy.

 

[marty21]

I usually don't like blaming sound engineers and other techy bods, but blimey, it's like they're employing work experience kids behind the scenes

Probably got a load of people who used to work in the fishing industry

 

[existentialist]

I'm assuming the ads will be mainly stair-lifts, equity withdrawal. cruises and incontinence pads?

Assuming they want to be associated with a victim-posturing "everybody hates us, nobody loves us" brand of inarticulate rage at nothing-in-particular...but I guess the GB News audience would at least be the target demographic for such products.

 

[Johnny Vodka]

Ah fuck.. Priti Patel

Why are any of you lot watching it ffs?

Curiosity.

 

[Petcha]

Assuming they want to be associated with a victim-posturing "everybody hates us, nobody loves us" brand of inarticulate rage at nothing-in-particular...but I guess the GB News audience would at least be the target demographic for such products.

No, they're the same big brands as you would expect from a big news channel. I'm not sure they would be too happy about having their adverts cropped into a box about 1/3 the size of the screen with the rest taken up by godawful GB news branding and that stupidly big news ticker galloping past.

 

[cupid_stunt]

The content doesn't seem as out there as the scaremongers were predicting. Just ten times shitter in the production values than anyone could even imagine

You clearly didn't see the monologue from Dan Wootton at the start of his show last night, and the shit that followed it, that's the one I am focusing on ATM for my first OFCOM complaint.

They are launching a radio station as well , their typical viewer will lap that up.

Not as such, it's just going to be a audio simulcast of the TV channel.

 

[marty21]

It doesn't seem to have much news on , just comment/rants. And it's mostly foreign owned as far as I can tell , so GBNews doesn't describe it very well.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Their ad sales house is 'Sky Media', so it's likely packaged-up with several other minor channels, and ad agencies booking on behalf of their clients, probably didn't notice GBN being added to whatever package they normally buy, and/or didn't think about potential fall out from their clients for including GBN in their ad campaigns.

I would like to think that certain advertisers will opt out of including GBN, once they realise they have been sneaked into whatever package they normally take, especially considering what a car crash it is, I mean what brands would want to be associated with that?

This would certainly explain why the Co-op is one of their advertisers.

 

[existentialist]

Their ad sales house is 'Sky Media', so it's likely packaged-up with several other minor channels, and ad agencies booking on behalf of their clients, probably didn't notice GBN being added to whatever package they normally buy, and/or didn't think about potential fall out from their clients for including GBN in their ad campaigns.

I would like to think that certain advertisers will opt out of including GBN, once they realise they have been sneaked into whatever package they normally take, especially considering what a car crash it is, I mean what brands would want to be associated with that?

This would certainly explain why the Co-op is one of their advertisers.

That might be one reason to watch the channel - to contact advertisers to say "I can't BELIEVE you are letting your product be associated with this shit!"

 

[Calamity1971]

It's comedy gold. Sound keeps going off and the ticker tape is jumpy. On the screen in big caps it says ' DATING A NARCISSIST' but they're talking about cladding someone called Alex has come on with McCoy doing jazz hands oh the cringe factor is through the echoey roof.

 

[Petcha]

They did a full 30 seconds earlier with their narcissistic host talking while the camera was focused on the wrong studio completely.

I think someone is sabotaging this from the inside.

 

[elbows]

It doesn't seem to have much news on , just comment/rants. And it's mostly foreign owned as far as I can tell , so GBNews doesn't describe it very well.

Andrew Neil already told viewers that they wont do rolling news bulletings, and that the only news they will cover is if it is relevant to the initials GB. So they will be first to tell us when alarming statistics about goat bothering are released, or next time Gyles Brandreth breaks some record for laughing at his own wit. I shouldnt laugh really, I hear the documentary they are putting together about Goves breadcrumb collection is excellent.

 

[brogdale]

They all look really depressed.

 

[platinumsage]

Does GB exclude Northern Ireland? Does it include Inaccessible Island, from where they could do a nice twee feature on the Inaccessible Island rail?

 

[elbows]

Have just heard it referred to as GBeebies and this is perfect.

GBeebies is trending on twitter, which admittedly doesnt take much.

 

[existentialist]

It's comedy gold. Sound keeps going off and the ticker tape is jumpy. On the screen in big caps it says ' DATING A NARCISSIST' but they're talking about cladding someone called Alex has come on with McCoy doing jazz hands oh the cringe factor is through the echoey roof.

To be fair, given quite a few of the twats on there, "dating a narcissist" is probably a highly relevant topic.

 

[cupid_stunt]

They said they wouldn't be a rolling news channel, but I expected they would at least have a short bulletin at the top of the hour, may be 5-10 minutes, but there's nothing at all.

 

[elbows]

They all look really depressed.

Shatmosphere, I love a studio with a shitty shatmosphere.

Anybody know what time the gravy bishops do their snort for the day?

 

[Argonia]

Why do they all go on about 'Marxists' when none of them has ever stooped to read a single syllable of Marx and they use it as a term of abuse for people such as social democrats and ecosocialists who aren't Marxists at all? Aren't the culture wars frankly a bit of a pathetic joke and farce?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Does GB exclude Northern Ireland? Does it include Inaccessible Island, from where they could do a nice twee feature on the Inaccessible Island rail?

That's another odd thing, they call themselves GB News rather than UK News, yet include NI, they went to their NI reporter during on the breakfast show, not that I could hear a word they were saying.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Just peeping over at DS again, someone posted this gem -

Amazing scoop from their local reporter in Doncaster earlier:

I can tell you that when I got here to Doncaster to do some filming, there was a bit of an incident kicking off. And this is the advantage you get working here on the ground and being out and about around the country.

There were two fire engines and an ambulance by the Marks & Spencer's down the road here, and I managed to find out that I believe two people unfortunately fell down the escalators and have been taken to hospital, so we're hoping they're better soon. But you wouldn't have seen that had we not been out and about today and on the ground, and we'll be doing a lot more of that here on GB News.

 

[DaveCinzano]

To be fair, given quite a few of the twats on there, "dating a narcissist" is probably a highly relevant topic.

Reporters from other stations are no doubt as we speak being tasked to get comment from Pamela Bordes STAT

 

[Calamity1971]

They all look really depressed.

Simon McCoy looks crest fallen.

 

[brogdale]

Simon McCoy looks crest fallen.

Silly cunt to take this gig.

 

[Doodler]

I usually don't like blaming sound engineers and other techy bods, but blimey, it's like they're employing work experience kids behind the scenes

That's probably what they're doing. UK RT was really ropey to begin with for similar reasons. Even if the work's unpaid, baby reptiles will be fighting among themselves for a shot at 'my first job in TV'.

 

[elbows]

Grimacing buttocks.

Im afraid I have a long list of GBs where that came from.

 

[bemused]

I watched it last night and in the background today. I've always enjoyed Neil's interviews. My take so far is:

• Dan Wootton is fucking awful in all ways.
• The breakfast show is very very shouty, they seem to be fighting over who will be the next Piers Morgan.
• I thought Colin Brazier and Mercy Muroki where quite good.
• Liam Halligan is utterly overwhelmed by Gloria De Piero's personality.
• The set is terrible, it looks like a PlayStation. Who thought black background and shit lighting was a good idea?

Not watched much more of it. It isn't that bad, although the fact it doesn't have any news bulletins means it appears to rely on people hearing the news elsewhere and then tuning in to see what Dan Wootton thinks about it.

The 'we have opinions' thing becoming annoying quickly because they are so keen to tell you what their opinion is that they repeat it over and over again.

Mercy Muroki is the standout at the moment, but it is sorely lacking anyone approaching Neil's skill level.

I like having the news on background anyway so more the better IMHO.

 

[DaveCinzano]

View attachment 273451

Silly cunt to take this gig.

It's sharted underkeks/seeing cliff towards which career is rolling comboface!

 

[DaveCinzano]

.

• The breakfast show is very very shouty, they seem to be fighting over who will be the next Piers Morgan.

I think more people would be onboard if it took a literal swing in this direction, Thunderdomed up a bit