GB News: a thread so you never have to watch it

[cupid_stunt]

Lights [just about], camera [where fuck are the presenters?], and [no] action [from the mics.] .

 

[existentialist]

Lights [just about], camera [where fuck are the presenters?], and [no] action [from the mics.] .

SSG: "Oh, fuck this, this isn't a challenge any more, they're rubbish enough without me trying to mess it up further"
*gets up
*trips over main audio feed

 

[cupid_stunt]

With the first week of GB News blighted by technical and audio issues, as well as blatant false named being read out, the head of production for the fledging channel has now instructed all presenters to become conversant in semaphore to assist in content delivery.

“I’m aware it’s far from perfect,” said Broadcasting Under Manager Michael Oxenlong this afternoon. “However, with the grainy video cameras and second-hand microphones I’ve been given to get this channel on the air, getting the presenters to hold flags and spell out the news letter-by-letter is about the only way I can get our message across. I’ve had to be careful though, Michelle Dewberry got too animated during a lockdown discussion yesterday and accidently spelt out ‘Immigrants welcome.'”

Oxenlong’s boss, William Stroker, was hoping this would be a temporary measure, remarking, “It’s been a challenge to get such a new and important station on-air and delivering important content like regional variations on bread roll names and the defence of known sex-offenders on the basis of pure semantics. However, I’ve had a promise that our first tranche of advertising money will be spent on new AV equipment. I can’t wait to see that roll, barn, or cob

GB News To Introduce News In SemaphoreNewsBiscuit | NewsBiscuit

With the first week of GB News blighted by technical and audio issues, as well as blatant false named being read out, the head of production for the fledging

www.newsbiscuit.com

 

[cupid_stunt]

Alex Phillips mentioned she hears the GBN 'jingle' in her head when asleep, and asked if Simon did, McCoy replied, 'well, I am actually not sleeping at night, at the moment'.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Live from Stringfellows.

 

[existentialist]

View attachment 274105

Live from Stringfellows.

 

[cupid_stunt]

McCoy is complete despair, finally gives up on responding to his co-host.

 

[cupid_stunt]

With consent?

 

[cupid_stunt]

I think McCoy has reached the end of his tether with his co-host, at the one minute point here.

 

[two sheds]

The production people are going through every fuck-up known to broadcasting. Possibly competing with each other.

 

[existentialist]

The production people are going through every fuck-up known to broadcasting. Possibly competing with each other.

*taps nose

 

[8ball]

I'd more or less ignored any mention of this new news channel type thing but it does look like good fun in a watch-through-the-fingers sort of way.

 

[Badgers]

 

[brogdale]

Come on the footballers!

 

[brogdale]

Meanwhile...from our Wales correspondent...

 

[8ball]

Actually, shan't bother sticking it on when all the best bits are on here.

 

[cupid_stunt]

It just beggars belief.

 

[spitfire]

Jesus fucking Christ it’s never ending.

 

[existentialist]

It just beggars belief.

"Did you remember to unmute the SM's mike after he came back from that massive shit we nearly broadcast? No? Never mind, with her, nobody will notice. Except the SM, and I recorded his shit, so he won't be any trouble"

 

[cupid_stunt]

Jesus fucking Christ it’s never ending.

At least they are delivering on their promise of being completely different to the BBC & Sky.

 

[Jeff Robinson]

Dead.

 

[Jeff Robinson]

From Gammon to Salmon.

 

[weltweit]

So, is it going to survive?

 

[Jeff Robinson]

So, is it going to survive?

Incompetence and idiocy are rarely barriers to rightwing success.

 

[DaveCinzano]

So, is it going to survive?

L!ve TV staggered on for more than four years

 

[8ball]

So, is it going to survive?

I kind of hope the advertisers don't all abandon it. It's too much fun.

 

[8ball]

L!ve TV staggered on for more than four years

Wow, I'd blanked that out...

 

[Cerv]

L!ve TV staggered on for more than four years

the News Bunny would be an improvement on most of this lot of presenters

 

[Badgers]

Topless Darts on soon?

 

[cupid_stunt]

The word on the grapevine, is that they have realised they have totally cocked-up, and need to bring an expert out of retirement to turn things around, so they took the plunge and put the call in.

But, Roland Rat told them to fuck off.