First Official Portrait of Kate Middleton

[Minnie_the_Minx]

I know sod all about art but I think it's crap.

It reminds me of one of those photography deals women go for where they get all glammed up and have their pictures taken by a professional photographer who makes them look way older than they are and then adds a glamour glow to them

 

[Mrs Magpie]

I know sod all about art but I think it's crap.

It reminds me of one of those photography deals women go for where they get all glammed up and have their pictures taken by a professional photographer who makes them look way older than they are and then adds a glamour glow to them

Yes!

 

[QueenOfGoths]

I am with Yu_Gi_Oh on this, it makes her look much older, she has almost as many lines and bags as me and I am, Dandred, 45 (well 46 actually!)

If that was a snap on Mr.QofG's digital camera I'd be "You are deleting that one right now!"

 

[Hocus Eye.]

I wonder if the painter was trying to make her into an iconic image with a mysterious smile like the Mona Lisa. Perhaps he had not quite finished when that photo of it was taken. I hope he has done a bit more work on the nose since then. Her eyes also seem to be about to roll up to the top as if she is on the edge of falling asleep. Her cheeks seem to be rather asymmetrical for a full face image but perhaps she is like that. Apart from the eyes, nose and mouth and being a bit dark, it is a good picture.

I quite enjoyed a few of the photoshopped versions posted on this thread. I expect this could become a national sport. Perhaps some kind person could do one that improves on the original. I am sure it would sell well with her being in some way connected with Royalty or so I am told.

 

[wayward bob]

you lot make me laugh

 

[QueenOfGoths]

I am so taking that to the hairdressers the next time I go

 

[Manter]

I think its completely without any artistic merit whatsoever (apologies to the 70s) and seriously disappointing that an art history grad didn't push for something less grim.

It looks like it was painted by a 6th former from a photograph

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Yes!

The make-up is a bit understated though. They normally trowel it on thinking a face full of make-up and a glamour glow will make you look good

 

[bi0boy]

I think it looks rather masculine

 

[billy_bob]

"I don't have lots of things in the background. I do like large faces, I find them strong and contemporary,"

He means:

"I have no grasp of perspective"

The painting looks like it would much rather be of a kitten, and on the kind of 'keepsake' plate they advertise in the back of the cheaper TV listings guides.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

It deserves to be hidden away in the attic of Kensington Palace, or the basement, in the hope the basement floods

 

[the button]

He means:

"I have no grasp of perspective"

The painting looks like it would much rather be of a kitten, and on the kind of 'keepsake' plate they advertise in the back of the cheaper TV listings guides.

The kind of effect they were after:

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

The kind of effect they were after:

Fucking hell, that's awful

Kate's picture is dull dull dull. If it was put up in a gallery, I'd walk straight past it

 

[Frank Merton]

Well it may be that the portrait doesn't do her justice. She is a beautiful woman and her beauty comes through in it.

 

[bi0boy]

Churchill destroyed one of his official portraits iirc. I wonder if Middleton could do the same?

 

[billy_bob]

The kind of effect they were after:

What even is that? A bell? A snow globe? A home-made ice-lolly?

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

What even is that? A bell? A snow globe? A home-made ice-lolly?

a thimble maybe?

 

[the button]

A thimble.

Edit: Minnie wins the commemorative tat identification contest.

 

[billy_bob]

I see. It's a representation of what Princess Diana would look like after being repeatedly poked with the blunt end of a needle.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Well it may be that the portrait doesn't do her justice. She is a beautiful woman and her beauty comes through in it.

Maybe she'll lighten up and stop playing so safe with her looks. His mother did that, before she glammed up a bit in later years, although she was around in the 80s and women covered up a lot more then anyway

 

[the button]

I see. It's a representation of what Princess Diana would look like after being repeatedly poked with the blunt end of a needle.

I thought that was the driver

 

[Frank Merton]

Maybe she'll lighten up and stop playing so safe with her looks. His mother did that, before she glammed up a bit in later years, although she was around in the 80s and women covered up a lot more then anyway

Let her have a couple babies first.

 

[DotCommunist]

I see. It's a representation of what Princess Diana would look like after being repeatedly poked with the blunt end of a needle.

or a dashboard

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Let her have a couple babies first.

I'd rather she didn't. There's more serious stuff the newspapers should be covering.

 

[Garek]

Are you serious? It's safe and bland. It's technically reasonably proficient, but naff.

Then it has captured her perfectly.

 

[Yetman]

Are you serious? It's safe and bland. It's technically reasonably proficient, but naff.

Well the artist must be a capable artisrt, so would easily be able to paint a standard portrait in oil. This is quite different to the usual portrait, such as the queens last one, and you wouldnt realise that it was a royal portrait - there's nothing in it to indicate any royalty. Yeah its a bit smoky and naff but at least its different and unexpected.

 

[DotCommunist]

using a technique of building thin layers of oil and glazes on canvas.

not too dissimilar from painting a Dark Eldar Wytch then

 

[rekil]

It deserves to be hidden away in the attic of Kensington Palace, or the basement, in the hope the basement floods

The politics of hate. And envy.

 

[Mrs Magpie]

Churchill destroyed one of his official portraits iirc. I wonder if Middleton could do the same?

I think it was his wife and it was the Sutherland one.

 

[scifisam]

The artist even decided to change Kate's eye colour to match the background he'd chosen. (Says in the article - I don't know her eye colour that well, honest).