Films ruined by child characters

[T & P]

The Jurassic Park siblings. Annoying little cunts of the highest order. Completely superfluous to the story and responsible for spoiling an otherwise perfectly enjoyable flick. I don't think there is a person who's seen it who wasn't rooting for the raptors.

John Connor in Terminator 2. Enough said.

Fire away.

 

[DotCommunist]

Fatherhood was single handedly ruined by macauly culkins pageboy haircut, which even managed to out-cunt ted dansons appaling pony tail

 

[Lord Camomile]

Yippee!

Ok, so he wasn't the only thing wrong with it...

 

[stuff_it]

I think we should include a synopsis of the plot with those characters removed.

Home Alone: The tal of a group of clumsy burglars who nonetheless succeed in burgling a large house and then argue during the celebratory feast.

Terminator 2: A love story of two androids out of their time.

Jurassic Park: 'Caution, scenes of strong sexual violence'

etc.

 

[Reno]

The films wasn't ruined by her (it was ruined by the last half hour), but the teenage actress in "28 Days Later" was terrible.

 

[T & P]

Fatherhood was single handedly ruined by macauly culkins pageboy haircut, which even managed to out-cunt ted dansons appaling pony tail

Funnily enough I watched that film for the very first time yesterday. Culkin must get a prize for most annoying child actor of all time.

 

[Reno]

The Jurassic Park siblings. Annoying little cunts of the highest order. Completely superfluous to the story and responsible for spoiling an otherwise perfectly enjoyable flick. I don't think there is a person who's seen it who wasn't rooting for the raptors.

I doubt the films greatest scene, the T-Rex attack, would have been nearly as terrifying without children in danger. The kids were also in the novel, they were vital to the plot and as always Spielberg got good performances out of child actors.

I give you the kid from T2 though, Edward Furlong couldn't act for toffee and was lumbered with some awful dialogue.

 

[Lord Camomile]

I think we should include a synopsis of the plot with those characters removed.

Home Alone: The tal of a group of clumsy burglars who nonetheless succeed in burgling a large house and then argue during the celebratory feast.

Terminator 2: A love story of two androids out of their time.

Jurassic Park: 'Caution, scenes of strong sexual violence'

etc.

Star Wars: Episode 1 - Trade negotiations. In space!

 

[Reno]

Yippee!

Ok, so he wasn't the only thing wrong with it...

That has to be the winner in a mainstream blockbuster. Absolutely awful child performance, for which I blame Lucas, who couldn't even get decent performances out of some of the best actors working.

 

[Lord Camomile]

That has to be the winner in a mainstream blockbuster. Absolutely awful child performance, for which I blame Lucas, who couldn't even get decent performances out of some of the best actors working.

To be fair to him, it's not like the kid had a lot to work with.

Seriously, have you ever heard a kid say "yippee" outside of cinema/TV?

 

[Reno]

To be fair to him, it's not like the kid had a lot to work with.

Seriously, have you ever heard a kid say "yippee" outside of cinema/TV?

That's why I'm blaming Lucas. He wrote terrible dialogue and is well known to be so socially awkward that he is terrible at directing actors. The kid stood no chance. Mind, he is only one flaw in a sea of shit.

 

[zoooo]

That girl who plays the computer (or something) in Resident Evil. Unbelieeevably wooden.

 

[Lord Camomile]

That's why I'm blaming Lucas. He wrote terrible dialogue and is well known to be so socially awkward that he is terrible at directing actors. The kid stood no chance. Mind, he is only one flaw in a sea of shit.

Aye, fair point, you did literally say "for which I blame Lucas"

 

[creak]

 

[T & P]

I doubt the films greatest scene, the T-Rex attack, would have been nearly as terrifying without children in danger. The kids were also in the novel, they were vital to the plot and as always Spielberg got good performances out of child actors.

I give you the kid from T2 though, Edward Furlong couldn't act for toffee and was lumbered with some awful dialogue.

Are the kids annoying little shits in the book as well?

As for Edward Furlong, things have not been peachy for most of his adult life, it seems. He's just been banged up for six months as well. Then again after that performance in T2, I guess there weren't many film scripts landing on his doormat...

 

[Lord Camomile]

How daaaaare you

Kate Capshaw was the problem in that film. Shoulda been a buddy flick, but nooooooo, we've got to have smooching for the giiiiirls. Bleurgh.

 

[xenon]

AI was pretty annoying. "Blue fairy! Blue fairy!"...

 

[Pickman's model]

Little lord fauntleroy
chitty chitty bang bang
mary poppins
Braveheart

 

[Reno]

As for Edward Furlong, things have not been peachy for most of his adult life, it seems. He's just been banged up for six months as well. Then again after that performance in T2, I guess there weren't many film scripts landing on his doormat...

He's the classic child actor car crash and his woes of drugs addiction and domestic abuse seem to be never ending. He's still acting, but all in Z-grade low budget movies.

 

[Pickman's model]

Oliver!

 

[Reno]

How daaaaare you

Kate Capshaw was the problem in that film. Shoulda been a buddy flick, but nooooooo, we've got to have smooching for the giiiiirls. Bleurgh.

Kate Capshaw has been getting a lot of flack for not being the plucky heroine that Karen Allen was, but that was the point. She played the complete opposite, a high maintenance ninny, the last person you want along for a ride like this, who gradually turns courageous and she gave a good comedic performance.

I also didn't have a problem with the kid, I thought he was cute.

 

[Lord Camomile]

Kate Capshaw has been getting a lot of flack for not being the plucky heroine that Karen Allen was, but that was the point. She played the complete opposite, a high maintenance ninny who gradually turns courageous and she gave a good comic performance along the way. I also didn't have a problem with the kid, I thought he was cute.

I didn't really like Karen Allen either, to be honest. Again though, hers is but one in a film full of sins.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that girls just get in the way of adventure.

 

[Reno]

I didn't really like Karen Allen either, to be honest. Again though, hers is but one in a film full of sins.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that girls just get in the way of adventure.

Misogynist !

Karen Allen was fab, I don't think I'd care for the Raiders nearly as much without her. You probably also think Alien would have been better if Ripley had been a man.

 

[skyscraper101]

He's the classic child actor car crash and his woes of drugs addiction and domestic abuse seem to be never ending. He's still acting, but all in Z-grade low budget movies.

Blimey, look at him now. He's currently in jail too.

Funnily enough I was watching Identity Thief the other day and only realised during the credits that the bounty hunter dude was Robert Patrick aka Terminator 2's T-1000.

 

[Lord Camomile]

Misogynist !

Karen Allen was fab, I don't think I'd care for the Raiders nearly as much without her. You probably also think Alien would have been better if Ripley had been a man.

Well, now you mention it...

Nah, it's just something about them two. I don't think the parts are written particularly well, and then the actors really bring anything else to them. I like the Nazi in Crusade! But maybe that says more about me...

 

[T & P]

The film was a bit shit anyway so it doesn't matter so much, but the teenage daugther in Lost in Space was quite unsufferable.

 

[Reno]

Well, now you mention it...

Nah, it's just something about them two. I don't think the parts are written particularly well, and then the actors really bring anything else to them. I like the Nazi in Crusade! But maybe that says more about me...

Nazi misogynist !!!

 

[thriller]

Funnily enough I was watching Identity Thief the other day and only realised during the credits that the bounty hunter dude was Robert Patrick aka Terminator 2's T-1000.

clearly not a film fan if you couldn't recognise him.

 

[thriller]

that black girl in Jurassic Park 2. I remember that acrobat scene where I just wanted her to fall and get eaten.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Funnily enough I was watching Identity Thief the other day and only realised during the credits that the bounty hunter dude was Robert Patrick aka Terminator 2's T-1000.

It was going to be Billy Idol. Can you imagine that? It was only because he broke his leg or something that I couldn't do it.