Essential Trump/Alt-Right Ridicule Thread

[two sheds]

She's great, I wish those (twitter?) videos didn't have that stupidly loud "bumpf" at the end, it scares the shit out of my dog

 

[a_chap]

It's not Twitter it's tock tick, or something like that.

I'm told the young people use it.

 

[Kaka Tim]

fucking wow - i hadnt actually heard trump saying this - and its defeintely up there with his most "WTF?!?" offerings.
Love the bit when hes asking what would happen if the electirc powered boat sank and their were sharks ten feet away "and teh guy at the boat compant said - y'know nobodies ever asked me that question before" - and trump seems to think this is because hes so much smarter than everyone - when the actual reason is because the quesiton is completely fucking mental.

 

[two sheds]

It's not Twitter it's tock tick, or something like that.

I'm told the young people use it.

... and that particular tock tick is on twitter

it all gets so complicated

 

[Jeff Robinson]

... and that particular tock tick is on twitter

it all gets so complicated

Finally... a Trump policy you can get behind?

 

[teqniq]

 

[cupid_stunt]

On Trump suggesting he may not turn up for the TV debate, the Harris campaign has posted this clip of Trump questioning whether he should debate, with chicken noises in the background.

 

[Jeff Robinson]

I posted this for the first Trump indictment:



But forgot to the second, third and forth indictments. So here it is three more times

Trump has been indicted again! https://www.politico.com/news/2024/08/27/trump-indicted-2020-election-subversion-00176503

Guess its time for another one of these:

 

[cupid_stunt]

This is a nice piss-take from USA Today.

Donald Trump's 10 very specific demands for a debate with Kamala Harris, probably.

Tender little darling Donald Trump is casting doubt on whether he’ll show up to a Sept. 10 debate with Democratic nominee Kamala Harris.

eu.usatoday.com

Whilst covering the subject of if Trump will actually go ahead with the TV debate...

While campaigning Monday at a Vietnamese restaurant in Northern Virginia, Trump again questioned whether he should do the debate: "I think ABC really should be shut out. I’d much rather do it on NBC. I’d much rather do it on CBS. Frankly, I think CBS is very unfair, but the best of the group. And certainly, I’d do it on Fox.”

Well, that clears things up. The two sides have been bickering over whether microphones should be on all the time or turned off when it’s not a candidate’s turn to speak. Trump seemed to undercut his campaign’s desire to keep the mics off while the other nominee speaks, saying Monday, “Doesn’t matter to me, I’d rather have it probably on.”

There will undoubtedly be more requests and disputes before Trump sprouts feathers and decides not to show up. But to hurry things along, I’ve composed a list of all the VERY REASONABLE DEMANDS that he should make ahead of the Sept. 10 debate:

President Donald J. Trump will be identified at all times as either “President Donald Trump” or “President Trump.” His lectern will carry the presidential seal. Vice President Kamala Harris will be identified as “Comrade Kamala” or “Crazy Kamabla.” Her lectern will carry a hammer-and-sickle flag because she is a socialist, Marxist communist.

President Trump’s microphone will be on at all times and anyone who cuts it off will be given the death penalty.

The crowd at the debate will be the hugest crowd in the history of debates, possibly the biggest crowd anyone has ever seen in history.

Joe Biden must stand next to Comrade Kamala throughout the debate so President Trump can use all the “Sleepy Joe” zingers he came up with prior to Biden SO UNFAIRLY stepping aside. WHERE’S HUNTER?!?

Moderators will be Robert F. Kennedy Jr., President Trump’s daughter Ivanka Trump and President Trump himself.

Comrade Kamala’s answers will be restricted to no more than 10 seconds because she has nothing to say and is very dull. A loud and very classy buzzer will be used to cut her off if she goes over.

There will be no restrictions on President Trump’s answers to ensure the debate receives the greatest ratings in the history of television.

There will be no fewer than three questions regarding the "late, great Hannibal Lecter."

President Trump will be served McDonald’s cheeseburgers during commercial breaks.

There will be only one clear winner of the debate, and that will be President Trump. If anyone suggests Comrade Kamala won, the debate will be declared RIGGED and TOTALLY BIASED and President Trump will blame it all on George Slopadopolus.

 

[Rob Ray]

Trump media not doing so well ahead of the big sale it seems:

 

[WouldBe]

Nearly back to where it started.

 

[two sheds]

and hopefully worthless by October if it keeps dropping at present rate

 

[spring-peeper]

So, most people don't believe Trump is as good as he says.

Donald Trump makes extraordinary claim over his golf ability

Speaking to PGA Memes, Trump boasted about winning a club championship against younger players.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Donald Trump has made the incredible claim that he recently beat 21 scratch players in a golf tournament in Florida.

While the 45th president of the United States has long been known as a powerhouse in the golfing circuit for owning several courses across the nation, it comes as no surprise that Trump has played his fair share of rounds.

Speaking in a recent interview, the 78-year-old Trump spoke about winning a club championship against younger players.

'I mean, I just won the club Championship in Palm Beach, where we have 21 scratch players,' Trump claimed. 'I won the seniors. And I played so well in the seniors, I said, 'Might as well play in the regular and I beat kids.''

'We had 21 scratch players and I won. You can't do that easy. A lot of people can't play in club championships. The club championship is our major and they can't handle the pressure,' he continued.

But, apparently it is all true!!!

But the former US President has showcased his skill level with the clubs before and has recently won over some high-profile admirers.

After his recent appearance on the Break 50 web series, none other than LIV Golf star and US Open winner Bryson DeChambeau praised Trump's iron game.

'Man, his iron play was great,' DeChambeau said. 'I can't tell you the number of times he stuffed it on the green within 30 feet of regulation.

'His driver swing is the most repeatable thing I have ever seen. I wish mine was that repeatable. Really, I do.'

 

[two sheds]

If only there were a test that included questions like "giraffe, a tiger, or this, or that — a whale. ‘Which one is the whale?’"

 

[two sheds]

more daily evidence of his genius

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[Chilli.s]

Trump... the great athleat, war hero and genius

Or as I think of him... stupid weirdo

 

[two sheds]

So, most people don't believe Trump is as good as he says.

Donald Trump makes extraordinary claim over his golf ability

Speaking to PGA Memes, Trump boasted about winning a club championship against younger players.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Donald Trump has made the incredible claim that he recently beat 21 scratch players in a golf tournament in Florida.

While the 45th president of the United States has long been known as a powerhouse in the golfing circuit for owning several courses across the nation, it comes as no surprise that Trump has played his fair share of rounds.

Speaking in a recent interview, the 78-year-old Trump spoke about winning a club championship against younger players.

'I mean, I just won the club Championship in Palm Beach, where we have 21 scratch players,' Trump claimed. 'I won the seniors. And I played so well in the seniors, I said, 'Might as well play in the regular and I beat kids.''

'We had 21 scratch players and I won. You can't do that easy. A lot of people can't play in club championships. The club championship is our major and they can't handle the pressure,' he continued.

But, apparently it is all true!!!

But the former US President has showcased his skill level with the clubs before and has recently won over some high-profile admirers.

After his recent appearance on the Break 50 web series, none other than LIV Golf star and US Open winner Bryson DeChambeau praised Trump's iron game.

'Man, his iron play was great,' DeChambeau said. 'I can't tell you the number of times he stuffed it on the green within 30 feet of regulation.

'His driver swing is the most repeatable thing I have ever seen. I wish mine was that repeatable. Really, I do.'

Looks like it happened but difficult to believe - why would the twat cheat so much if he's so good?

 

[Rompipalle]

Looks like it happened but difficult to believe - why would the twat cheat so much if he's so good?

He cheats at everything - business relationships, marriage, golf, elections...

 

[Yossarian]

View attachment 440203

Warren Harding would fit in the "incompetent criminal" space on the right, not sure if any Republicans besides Reagan and Trump were in office at an age advanced enough to be considered senile criminals

 

[two sheds]

ok I'm convinced, we need to stop saying it people

 

[breadandcircuse]

View attachment 440199

If only there were a test that included questions like "giraffe, a tiger, or this, or that — a whale. ‘Which one is the whale?’"

Show us your academic qualifications from your time in college. Is there a reason everyone has had to sign NDA's? Surely the stable genius would be begging to show them off if he was such a smartass?

 

[breadandcircuse]

Jack is one step ahead again . Look out Dumpty and sycophants.

If you don't like vids don't watch this 10 mins of pure excitement from Popok. If he is excited about this, I am. But those who don't like vids, don't moan to me, just don't watch.

 

[spring-peeper]

Cult45 will see this Billboard every time his plane lands & every time he plays golf!

 

[Jeff Robinson]

 

[cupid_stunt]

Show us your academic qualifications from your time in college. Is there a reason everyone has had to sign NDA's? Surely the stable genius would be begging to show them off if he was such a smartass?

Interesting hearing the lines 'his daddy, Vladimir' and 'he's Putin's bitch', as this appeared this morning.

 

[Yossarian]

posted by Trump himself - any name ideas for the shittest superhero team ever?

 

[existentialist]

"near-death experience"???

His ear was nicked. I've done worse to myself shaving.

It's all subjective. He's probably convinced himself - because he's so IMPOTENT - that there are snipers around every corner. And someone with such a fragile sense of self as he has (as evidenced by his narcissistic traits) is much more likely to spiral into PTSD than someone who's emotionally more grounded.

 

[cupid_stunt]

He's shared this one too.



Nice of them to label it as being AI-generated, I would never have guessed otherwise.