Dulwich Hamlet fans discuss how to bring the joy back to Champion Hill

[NPDHFC]

Seems so

At least when we all moved over here was because the other one was just shit to use... not the people or the opinions....

I would love people now to se how good that one was

Congratulations on reaching level 1!

 

[Latahs]

I would have thought that the issue of dealing with the problems at Hamlet necessitated fairly long pieces of informed discussion, neatly threaded rather than a barrage of chatroom-style posts, interspersed with bantz.

I'm already finding it hard to follow the discussions peppered with all the interrupting nonsense about people achieving 'level 2' whatever the fuck that is.

Then urban hasn't really been superseeded... hence my point

 

[festa]

Congratulations on reaching level 1!

at least i understood how to use both, discord is a level above me

 

[Latahs]

Have I got this right? Has the club set up a new forum because it doesn't like what's being said on Urban or that people are pissed off with their decisions?

If so, that is absolutely staggering.

No. If that were the case they'd have started a new forum - like for like. But if you prefer that narrative, its your choice. Anyway, I thought you were happy for the club to use any means necessary to further it's aims?

 

[NPDHFC]

at least i understood how to use both, discord is a level above me

You’ve played a blinder festa , you’ve made it to level 2!

 

[Moroccan Sunset]

No. If that were the case they'd have started a new forum - like for like. But if you prefer that narrative, its your choice. Anyway, I thought you were happy for the club to use any means necessary to further it's aims?

Easy tiger.

I didn't mean a literal messageboard/forum - I meant it in a broader sense, as in a new space for people to share views.

Regardless, there's a new place that's seemingly been established by the club, while there is literally no engagement on a forum from board members used by many supporters for many years. What's the point in setting up a new space when this one already exists and functions very well? That's hardly twisting something to suit my own 'narrative'.

Fail to see how it furthers the club's aims. (Feel free to enlighten me.) Seems to me like the board has built its own echo chamber away from those nasty brutes on Urban with all their criticisms and frustrations.

 

[Tony_LeaS]

I akways thought Discord was for online gamers?

For other groups I use discord yeah, mostly in attachment for gaming tournaments/gaming forums i help out with from time to time (always nice when people ask about Dulwich when they see my username) but this does seem a bit odd. Maybe the club see it as a way to have an “official” place outside of here?

 

[pengedragon]

I think there are Discord servers for lots of things now, I first found it as a new place to talk music

 

[Tony_LeaS]

I think there are Discord servers for lots of things now, I first found it as a new place to talk music

It has definitely evolved, it was a much more user friendly version to teamspeak when I first used it and many others made the jump over but they’ve evolved it definitely from what it was before, sports, politics, pretty much anything and everything now.

 

[StephenMac]

It's um, quite challenging for a man of advancing years like myself. I'm mainly there to see people's initial reactions. Jamie W is winning for me.

 

[YTC]

Hey guys,

I see there is a lot of complaints here - my email is tomcullen@dulwichhamletfc.co.uk if you’d like to get in touch directly about this or anything else.

I don’t think I’ll be coming back on here for my own mental health.

Thanks.

Tom.

 

[Moroccan Sunset]

Hey guys,

I see there is a lot of complaints here - my email is tomcullen@dulwichhamletfc.co.uk if you’d like to get in touch directly about this or anything else.

I don’t think I’ll be coming back on here for my own mental health.

Thanks.

Tom.

Why? What is on here that is so adverse to your mental health? There's a lot of well articulated comments here from a number of people that are expressing their frustration and upset. What's wrong with that?

More to the point, people have taken the time and trouble to detail their complaints here. They're very clear - why have they got to resubmit their comments to you? They've already been written. Why can't the board come on here and attempt to address them, or at least acknowledge them? Why have we got to do the donkey work?

 

[YTC]

I can assure you that some great points have been made, and ourselves and the trust are discussing the best way to move forward for the next home mens game.

But this place is horribly toxic, so me, personally, I won’t be back unless that changes. Unfortunately you don’t get to decide what’s adverse to my mental health. That one’s for me to deal with I’m afraid.

Hence my email above, happy to chat to anyone about anything.

Thanks,

Tom

 

[EDC]

It's um, quite challenging for a man of advancing years like myself. I'm mainly there to see people's initial reactions. Jamie W is winning for me.

Me too, I’ve never got on with it, I think I’ve muted everyone as well.

 

[Moroccan Sunset]

I can assure you that some great points have been made, and ourselves and the trust are discussing the best way to move forward for the next home mens game.

But this place is horribly toxic, so me, personally, I won’t be back unless that changes. Unfortunately you don’t get to decide what’s adverse to my mental health. That one’s for me to deal with I’m afraid.

Hence my email above, happy to chat to anyone about anything.

Thanks,

Tom

But it's the same question, Tom - why is it so 'toxic'? There are heated questions and posts, of course, because there are things that many of us are findinf extremely frustrating - none of which has been helped by the lack of communication from the upper echelons of the club.

I'm not deciding what's adverse to your mental health - that's putting words in my mouth. I've known you for many years, Tom, and there is no need for it. I'm simply asking what on this forum is can be interpreted as detrimental to your wellbeing? People are criticising some of your decisions, yes, but that comes with the territory, so surely it cannot be that. The only people that are being singled out here are Gavin and Ben, by varying parties. I'm intrigued because whatever it is that i causing distress is stopping your engagement on here, which is of no benefit to either of us, as I'm sure you agree.

Fundamentally I dont see why there cant be public responses to widely shared concerns. Surely if anything it saves you replying to more emails. Think it keeps everything transparent, too, at a time when the board is coming under a lot of fire for its lack of engagement and decision making.

 

[StephenMac]

Me too, I’ve never got on with it, I think I’ve muted everyone as well.

Hold on, you can mute people on Discord?

 

[StephenMac]

But it's the same question, Tom - why is it so 'toxic'? There are heated questions and posts, of course, because there are things that many of us are findinf extremely frustrating - none of which has been helped by the lack of communication from the upper echelons of the club.

I'm not deciding what's adverse to your mental health - that's putting words in my mouth. I've known you for many years, Tom, and there is no need for it. I'm simply asking what on this forum is can be interpreted as detrimental to your wellbeing? People are criticising some of your decisions, yes, but that comes with the territory, so surely it cannot be that. The only people that are being singled out here are Gavin and Ben, by varying parties. I'm intrigued because whatever it is that i causing distress is stopping your engagement on here, which is of no benefit to either of us, as I'm sure you agree.

Fundamentally I dont see why there cant be public responses to widely shared concerns. Surely if anything it saves you replying to more emails. Think it keeps everything transparent, too, at a time when the board is coming under a lot of fire for its lack of engagement and decision making.

Best left alone at this stage?

There's are routes in - his email address, the Trust email mentioned earlier (for their discussions with the club) and Discord, if it takes your fancy.

The latter might be of interest, as people on there have already mentioned that this forum might not always be the most welcoming of places.

 

[EDC]

Hold on, you can mute people on Discord?

I don’t know about individuals, I do the whole shebang so I don’t get woken up.

 

[festa]

Why? What is on here that is so adverse to your mental health? There's a lot of well articulated comments here from a number of people that are expressing their frustration and upset. What's wrong with that?

More to the point, people have taken the time and trouble to detail their complaints here. They're very clear - why have they got to resubmit their comments to you? They've already been written. Why can't the board come on here and attempt to address them, or at least acknowledge them? Why have we got to do the donkey work?

I have removed my self from here twitter fb and various other places in the past due to the effects it has on mental health so I dont think we should necessarily challenge that as a reason.

BUT someone who can should come in and answer, you're not wrong there.

but lets support comrades who are willing to say they cant at this moment in time, because if we don't talk about our mental health none of us will ever get support or answers we need.

 

[festa]

But it's the same question, Tom - why is it so 'toxic'? There are heated questions and posts, of course, because there are things that many of us are findinf extremely frustrating - none of which has been helped by the lack of communication from the upper echelons of the club.

I'm not deciding what's adverse to your mental health - that's putting words in my mouth. I've known you for many years, Tom, and there is no need for it. I'm simply asking what on this forum is can be interpreted as detrimental to your wellbeing? People are criticising some of your decisions, yes, but that comes with the territory, so surely it cannot be that. The only people that are being singled out here are Gavin and Ben, by varying parties. I'm intrigued because whatever it is that i causing distress is stopping your engagement on here, which is of no benefit to either of us, as I'm sure you agree.

Fundamentally I dont see why there cant be public responses to widely shared concerns. Surely if anything it saves you replying to more emails. Think it keeps everything transparent, too, at a time when the board is coming under a lot of fire for its lack of engagement and decision making.

your other points about this being a place for answers though is completely valid and i 100% support that.

 

[scousedom]

But it's the same question, Tom - why is it so 'toxic'? There are heated questions and posts, of course, because there are things that many of us are findinf extremely frustrating - none of which has been helped by the lack of communication from the upper echelons of the club.

I'm not deciding what's adverse to your mental health - that's putting words in my mouth. I've known you for many years, Tom, and there is no need for it. I'm simply asking what on this forum is can be interpreted as detrimental to your wellbeing? People are criticising some of your decisions, yes, but that comes with the territory, so surely it cannot be that. The only people that are being singled out here are Gavin and Ben, by varying parties. I'm intrigued because whatever it is that i causing distress is stopping your engagement on here, which is of no benefit to either of us, as I'm sure you agree.

Fundamentally I dont see why there cant be public responses to widely shared concerns. Surely if anything it saves you replying to more emails. Think it keeps everything transparent, too, at a time when the board is coming under a lot of fire for its lack of engagement and decision making.

I'd like to provide a very limited reply / answer to this. In doing so I want to make a couple of things clear:
1. I'm not speaking for Tom at all, I'm purely describing my own experience
2. I am not in any way seeking to blame anyone on here for that experience

When I was on the Trust Board, in a very limited way - limited as in I just did two years and I wasn't a high-flyer, I mainly helped at the shop and that - it coincided with shall we say the move to and from Tooting. It was an incredibly stressful time for everyone connected with the Club and there was a lot of worry out there. There was also a lot of misinformation that people were commenting on that couldn't be addressed, either legally or because of the form it took. Like I said I was only minimally involved compared to many others, but even for me coming on this forum was at times incredibly stressful, to the point of panic-attacking inducing. It was also one of those things where it drew you in; like, you knew it would cause you stress but you couldn't stop hitting refresh, and then when you saw like 50 responses or something to a thread you couldn't stop yourself scrolling and it became more and more overwhelming....

So as has been said, I think we should support Tom or anyone who says "I can't do this in this form, it's too much, but here's a form I can handle that you can use to raise concerns with me". I can readily see how email is less immediately overwhelming, less that sense of it all coming over in a wave. It's one on one rather than many on one, which I can see how this could feel like it could be.

 

[festa]

I'd like to provide a very limited reply / answer to this. In doing so I want to make a couple of things clear:
1. I'm not speaking for Tom at all, I'm purely describing my own experience
2. I am not in any way seeking to blame anyone on here for that experience

When I was on the Trust Board, in a very limited way - limited as in I just did two years and I wasn't a high-flyer, I mainly helped at the shop and that - it coincided with shall we say the move to and from Tooting. It was an incredibly stressful time for everyone connected with the Club and there was a lot of worry out there. There was also a lot of misinformation that people were commenting on that couldn't be addressed, either legally or because of the form it took. Like I said I was only minimally involved compared to many others, but even for me coming on this forum was at times incredibly stressful, to the point of panic-attacking inducing. It was also one of those things where it drew you in; like, you knew it would cause you stress but you couldn't stop hitting refresh, and then when you saw like 50 responses or something to a thread you couldn't stop yourself scrolling and it became more and more overwhelming....

So as has been said, I think we should support Tom or anyone who says "I can't do this in this form, it's too much, but here's a form I can handle that you can use to raise concerns with me". I can readily see how email is less immediately overwhelming, less that sense of it all coming over in a wave. It's one on one rather than many on one, which I can see how this could feel like it could be.

genau, same thing, but let's not ignore it. we need to find a balance.

 

[editor]

I can assure you that some great points have been made, and ourselves and the trust are discussing the best way to move forward for the next home mens game.

But this place is horribly toxic, so me, personally, I won’t be back unless that changes. Unfortunately you don’t get to decide what’s adverse to my mental health. That one’s for me to deal with I’m afraid.

Hence my email above, happy to chat to anyone about anything.

Thanks,

Tom

I'm really sorry you found posting here such an unpleasant activity and am keen to improve things as much as I can, so what changes would you like to take place to improve things? (probably best to respond by PM/email rather than in this thread, if you want to talk about it further - no problem if not)

I'm afraid I really can't get on with the discord forum, so I can't see me ever posting there. To be honest, looks like it's set up for gamers' chat rather than hosting serious discussions about the worsening situation at Dulwich Hamlet, but I wish you good luck with it.

 

[festa]

I'm really sorry you found posting here such an unpleasant activity and am keen to improve things as much as I can, so what changes would you like to take place to improve things? (feel free to respond by PM rather than in this thread)

I'm afraid I really can't get on with the discord forum, so I can't see me ever posting there. To be honest, looks like it's set up for gamers' chat rather than hosting serious discussions about the worsening situation at Dulwich Hamlet, but I wish you good luck with it.

I've tried, it's horrible... I am not even that old but for boomers like you i feel sorry

 

[scousedom]

Yeah I agree on Discord. It's mildly alarming! I'll be honest it's a terrifying glimpse into the future of trying to help my kids navigate social media - I mean, the eldest is four now, god knows what Discord 10.0 will look like, and I'm only getting older and less digitally able...!

 

[Moroccan Sunset]

Best left alone at this stage?

There's are routes in - his email address, the Trust email mentioned earlier (for their discussions with the club) and Discord, if it takes your fancy.

The latter might be of interest, as people on there have already mentioned that this forum might not always be the most welcoming of places.

Yes, I think you're probably right.

Still dispute that something should be posted here - and that shouldn't just fall to Tom, in his defence. There are plenty of other board members and I fail to believe that none of them have had the time to post a 2 minute message to say that they've read the concerns, understand the upset, and will address as a matter of immediacy. But they haven't and that is a shocking disregard for supporters and their genuine concerns.

For the record I wouldnt have responded again, but the suggestion that I was deciding what effects someone's mental health was completely unfounded and a blatant distortion of what I said. What I wrote is there in black and white, and I find it offensive to be accused of dictating what someone can find upsetting when I simply asked what was causing him concern and stopping his engagement here. Guarantee the upset that baseless accusation has caused me won't matter a fucking jot though.

 

[festa]

For the record I wouldnt have responded again, but the suggestion that I was deciding what effects someone's mental health was completely unfounded and a blatant distortion of what I said. What I wrote is there in black and white, and I find it offensive to be accused of dictating what someone can find upsetting when I simply asked what was causing him concern and stopping his engagement here. Guarantee the upset that baseless accusation has caused me won't matter a fucking jot though.

We could tell there was know malice there from you mate, because we know how sound you are, just needed to be said for others not to take it out of context.... your points about the running of the club and lack of communication were all totally valid x

 

[editor]

Yeah I agree on Discord. It's mildly alarming! I'll be honest it's a terrifying glimpse into the future of trying to help my kids navigate social media - I mean, the eldest is four now, god knows what Discord 10.0 will look like, and I'm only getting older and less digitally able...!

Thing is, good social media engagement should be tailored to suit the audience and the interface should never provide an unnecessary or difficult barrier to engagement with that audience.

Discord is really not an appropriate platform for the club to host the discussions it says it wants to hear from fans.

 

[StephenMac]

Yes, I think you're probably right.

Still dispute that something should be posted here - and that shouldn't just fall to Tom, in his defence. There are plenty of other board members and I fail to believe that none of them have had the time to post a 2 minute message to say that they've read the concerns, understand the upset, and will address as a matter of immediacy. But they haven't and that is a shocking disregard for supporters and their genuine concerns.

For the record I wouldnt have responded again, but the suggestion that I was deciding what effects someone's mental health was completely unfounded and a blatant distortion of what I said. What I wrote is there in black and white, and I find it offensive to be accused of dictating what someone can find upsetting when I simply asked what was causing him concern and stopping his engagement here. Guarantee the upset that baseless accusation has caused me won't matter a fucking jot though.

Yep, I'm with Scutta and his reply to you just now.

With regards to Tom, I regularly take him up on his ongoing offer to discuss stuff. We disagree on plenty but I try to keep it constructive and I know his offer is genuine. Give it a go, honestly.

Deep breaths all round. Tomorrow's another day.

 

[festa]

The best thing about 7-8 years a ago we all really could have it out and we were still us at the end of the day...... we didnt ignore each other and we built what we could out of what we had....

It's different now 70% of the people there aren't us anymore.... so im not surprised the management focusses on them......

the simple solution is make that 70% us...........reach out to them ........but also tell the cunts to fuck off (that is ok too)