Disastrous family seasonal attractions and the never to be forgotten Lapland New Forest Theme Park

[laptop]

Does this mean that reindeer meat is going to be the next food scandal?

Only if it's dubbed by goats.


Real Reindeer (served up by the government of Sweden, so likely so) is like Bambi, but more so.

 

[T & P]

Some minimum standards need to be legally established, together with a watchdog, in order to protect the profession. Ditto elves.

 

[neonwilderness]

mates of mine work at that one as elves, but knowing them they'd really get into the part - they've been doing it a few years now I think.

Thin mates?

I know a few people who have been and said it is fairly good. They need to learn a lesson or two from these shysters.

 

[longdog]

The funfair!

For some reason every time I see a muddy field with tyre tracks I can smell smokeless powder. Probably because the only fun thing you can do in a muddy field with tyre tracks involves clay pigeons and a 12 bore.

Or am I just weird?

 

[laptop]

the only fun thing you can do in a muddy field with tyre tracks involves clay pigeons and a 12 bore.

That's not how I remember muddy fields...

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

[already noted...]

 

[xenon]

This whole thread is LOL.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I don't know what these people are whinging about - we never had crappy winter wonderland things when I was a kid. These parents are never bloody happy, the moaning buggers.

 

[pogofish]

And in Edinburgh - Santa gets the sack!

MIKE Daviot, 55, called the grotto in the capital’s East Princes Street Gardens a "cattle-herding exercise" but organisers insist he flouted guidelines and didn't even get on with his elves.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/edinburgh-man-branded-bad-santa-2937468

 

[maya]

Does this mean that reindeer meat is going to be the next food scandal?

Nowt wrong with a bit of reindeer meat, I receive regular supplies of this:


"Joika cakes", a.k.a. reindeer meatballs...'in game sauce' (brown, squishy stuff). They're actually quite tasty, soft and melt inside your mouth. Nice with fresh potatoes. But some say the meat is a little bit radioactive... Dunno about that myself, but if you wolf down the stuff you often end up spending some time in the loo reading the wrong Asterix album for the umpteenth time because you forgot to grab the right comic on your way in. Ah, well.

 

[DaveCinzano]

WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN?!

Winter blunderland! £22-a-head Christmas attraction created by Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen closes after just ONE DAY following hundreds of complaints about queues and cheap toys

Sound familiar?

The teaching assistant said she knew straight away the visit was going to be a 'nightmare' after she claimed to have spotted elves hanging around outside smoking and complaining about their shifts.

She said the Christmas illusion was then completely shattered when they saw a 'very skinny Santa.'

But seriously...

'My 15-year-old son just looked at me to say 'where on earth have you brought me to?’...'

...I at least expected a Narnia-type illusion portraying the magic of Christmas and not a rainy building site near Birmingham...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ng-hundreds-complaints-queues-cheap-toys.html

 

[Belushi]

The annual bumping of this thread is the only thing I like about xmas.

 

[DaveCinzano]

The annual bumping of this thread is the only thing I like about xmas.

I think someone should develop a hard boiled mint sweet which uses industrial by-products from lamb slaughterhouses, and market it as BAA HUMBUG. A definite Xmas seller

 

[Pickman's model]

The annual bumping of this thread is the only thing I like about xmas.

it's traditional.

 

[Belushi]

it's traditional.

Like turning on the Oxford street lights :thumbs :

 

[QueenOfGoths]

Like turning on the Oxford street lights :thumbs :

It is, basically, the turning on of Urban's Christmas Lights with the 'star' of the local panto and a children's entertainer that hasn't yet been swept up by Yewtree!

 

[Giles]

'My 15-year-old son just looked at me to say 'where on earth have you brought me to?’...'

I don't blame him!

However good a "Lapland experience" was, I can't imagine your average mid-teen to be wildly enthusiastic. He'd probably have been bored and unimpressed even if his parents had actually taken him on a plane to actual Lapland!

 

[skyscraper101]

Is it me or does Llewelyn-Bowen got a bit of the Dave Grohls about him these days?

Or perhaps the lovechild of Dave Grohl and Jean Michele Jarre?

 

[machine cat]

From the Mail:

'They had a few antlers, a sledge and then a babygrow with fur around which was supposed to be Santa's when he was a baby.'

What could go wrong?

 

[weepiper]

some of your staff are damn right rude and clearly do not care.

Not sure I could be arsed to care for minimum wage in a place where the customers are like this

 

[JTG]

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/...gned-laurence-llewelyn-bowen-shuts-complaints

 

[neonwilderness]

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/11/23/christmas-wonderland-the-_n_6208436.html

Every year the same..... Why do you go? It's only November !! These places are never what you expect them to be. They only want to make as much money as they can with the smallest of outlay. Disappointment gauranteed ! Children with shattered dreams!!

Advent hasn't even started and people are taking their children to a 'Christmas' theme park? They'll be starting just after Easter soon. Get real, folks. And by the way - there's no Santa, anyway!

 

[skyscraper101]

 

[skyscraper101]

That sign above... it says 'I think I just saw Rudi...'

 

[gentlegreen]

With the wording and the authentic Laplander hats, they were presumably aiming for a more aspirational clientèle ?

 

[neonwilderness]

Close it down mate, it's a fucking joke

The magic was ruined yesterday and no amount of refund or apology can get that back!

my daughter actually doubted everything for the first time ever

a cheap con

there were two workmen stood around eating Pringles

a lot of adult humour from Mrs Clause

I've now got kids crying in the back of the car

workman standing around smoking

rubbish unwrapped presents

4 elves trying to push the train up the hill

bags of snow sitting on pallets

santa was a young lad in a £10 wilko suit

then there was a roll of toilet paper as a present (yes toilet paper)

parents looking cheated

less decorations than a garden centre

kids were bored shitless

unwrapped tat

Santa was like he was anorexic

left immediately in search of the nearest pub

a complete joke from beginning to end

Simeon Cowelf was a pointless, miserable sod of an Elf

now the kids are pretty convinced Christmas is cancelled

getting off the train it pulled away nearly running over a child

had to sit on the ground to feed my baby

You basically just walk around a small wood

A tractor pulling a gloried golf buddy in my opinion isn't a train ride

I was the lady who passed out outside the main entrance

 

[Lord Camomile]

I've now got kids crying in the back of the car

Because you're supposed to be driving rather than commenting online...?

 

[DaveCinzano]

4 elves trying to push the train up the hill

ELVEN SAFETY NIGHTMARE

 

[DaveCinzano]

No pleasing some folk

 

[Lord Camomile]

There haven't been as many photos coming from this one - I get the feeling it's not nearly as bad as previous efforts, and people are just doing it out of tradition.

Like Christmas mass.