Disastrous family seasonal attractions and the never to be forgotten Lapland New Forest Theme Park

[Greebo]

I've taken humbug to the next level.

I saw this and thought of you - edible coal.

 

[gentlegreen]

Isn't that a bit Hogmanayish ?

 

[ElizabethofYork]

Lump of coal for gentlegreen!

 

[neonwilderness]

If I went to one of these things and I saw an Elf smoking , or Santa smoking or a fucking reindeer smoking , I would take a picture as it is a touching Christmas image

It's the first thing I would have done tbf

 

[Greebo]

Isn't that a bit Hogmanayish ?

No, St Nicholas gives it to those who haven't been good.

 

[gentlegreen]

No, St Nicholas gives it to those who haven't been good.

In the version I once read in "The Freethinker", he simply didn't cannibalise the good children.

 

[The Boy]

I saw this and thought of you - edible coal.

That's what my partner buys me for humbug every year .

 

[T & P]

There's been another one

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...and-Christmas-attraction-forced-to-close.html

 

[skyscraper101]

fuckin a Metro have just picked up on it too now.

‘Appalling’ winter wonderland is forced to close after just one day

 

[trashpony]

What the fuck's that cobwebbed room supposed to be about?

 

[colacubes]

What the fuck's that cobwebbed room supposed to be about?

Is it supposed to be a really shit homage to the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe?

 

[Spanky Longhorn]

that's even more amazing than the last one!

 

[trashpony]

Is it supposed to be a really shit homage to the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe?

I really hope so

 

[T & P]

I see the lion and I see the wardrobe. Not so convinced by their depiction of a witch though.

Given the effort put into it, I fear the back of the wardrobe might actually open up into the back of the venue where the giant wheelie bins are kept.

 

[gentlegreen]

Just how many fur coats could you squeeze into that ?

 

[campanula]

ffs, we have been bullied by offspring into all night baby-sitting for grandchild, followed by a visit to Santa's grotto at effing Notcutts (my least favourite garden centre of all time). Most annoyed at daughter (who has taken herself off for a wild weekend in Berlin) - we had planned a harmless day of baking and maybe a brisk go-round in the wood...and now we have to summon up the Xmas spirit and trudge out to the Norwich ring road....which is, frankly testing me since we have already endured a 150mile round trip this week, to watch 30 chaotic toddlers singing 'O Candy Cane (to the tune of the Internationale) and Smelly Sprouts in the nursery Christmas show.
I never took any of mine to grottoes and the like (being a mean cynic) so possibly, this is an act of revenge.

 

[Voley]

 

[Voley]

"How were we supposed to explain to a four year old girl that she couldn't see Santa after all. She was devastated. She thinks Santa didn't want to see her."

This annual travesty has become part of the magic of Christmas for me now.

 

[Lord Camomile]

fuckin a Metro have just picked up on it too now.

‘Appalling’ winter wonderland is forced to close after just one day

The captions are rather good in that one

I'm starting to suspect people are doing these on purpose

 

[Voley]

I'm starting to suspect people are doing these on purpose

Just been thinking that myself.

 

[ItWillNeverWork]

Why is it only Christmas-themed attractions that end up being this shit? It's a growing problem in this country and something needs to be done!!!

 

[farmerbarleymow]

This annual travesty has become part of the magic of Christmas for me now.

I love it too, for exactly these reasons. Year in year out, gullible parents fall for this shite without fail, and then play hell when, surprise surprise, it turns out to be utter shite.

It's an annual free bit of entertaining outrage.

 

[T & P]

This is on a smaller scale, but yet another gem has just flagged up today on the BBC website, as a 'Frozen' party leaves attendants cold

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-30448765

 

[neonwilderness]

some half arsed over priced pseudo attraction

rubbish & extremely over priced!

winterwonderland is a flop

We went for the frozen sing along and ice skating... Neither were there.

power cut for about 15 mins

Another problem was that we couldn't get out!

The most magical bit of the whole experience! There was tinsel on the bin!!!!

Im dreading this now

just a room with cut up buts of paper

Was given a time slot to see santa, when we got there he wasn't there!!!

I've been today it's shocking

a few garden christmas ornaments

We experienced bored elves texting on their mobile phones

the kind of thing used at roadworks

Santa's grotto is an undressed garden shed with a rude and miserable elf shoving people through

what could of been an ex Army base

Wouldn't bother going, absolutely rubbish

Nothing but a joke and the circus is shocking

it was cold & miserable just a big open warehouse with a few things chucked in!!

no joy what so ever

it wasn't great barely even good

Now I cant afford to buy presents for my friends son

Sat and cried

Terrible times for all apart from Del and Rodders

makes me so angry that they would do that to innocent children at the most magical and memory making time

utter garbage I'm disgusted

Kids are devastated

It looks disgusting

RIPPING OFF CHILDREN ITS DISSGUSTING

Awfull christmas tree

expose these stammers for who and what they are.

I went yesterday. Total garbage

It reminds me of something you'd get from BHS as a joke christmas pressie

a bloke who was trying to catch potatoes on a fork and kept missing

Looks more like the prison cell the organiser might be inhabiting

And that snowman, poor thing looks like it had a bad time!!

reindeers in no less then squalered conditions

 

[T & P]

a bloke who was trying to catch potatoes on a fork and kept missing

 

[quimcunx]

I was just about to post that. Definitely my favourite christmas tradition ever.

 

[NoXion]

As repulsive as I find the mawkish commercialism behind the so-called "Christmas magic" to be, I don't find this kind of thing amusing at all, it's just the bleak opposite side to the same miserable coin.

Oh tee-hee, parents have been ripped off and kids have been disappointed! So hilarious! That'll teach those gullible proles! [/sarcasm]

The thing is, I'm not much of a Christmas-y person myself. I haven't put any decorations up (at home, although I was asked to put up a tree at work), I haven't done any Christmas shopping, I have no holiday plans apart from putting my feet up, and yet I feel no need to turn into the worst kind of terminal misanthrope, the type who laughs on the outside while slowly dying on the inside, taking some perverse pride in low-grade shitness. Probably because my lack of Christmas activities is down to personal laziness rather than humbuggery.

Yeah, Christmas gets taken too far. It seems like I start seeing Christmas stuff earlier and earlier in the year, and that shit should stop - there shouldn't be a sniff of anything Christmas until December at the absolute earliest. There's too much of an emphasis on buying crap, rather than brightening up a dismal period of the year with a festival of decorations, good food/drink and the companionship of friends & family.

 

[coley]

As repulsive as I find the mawkish commercialism behind the so-called "Christmas magic" to be, I don't find this kind of thing amusing at all, it's just the bleak opposite side to the same miserable coin.

Oh tee-hee, parents have been ripped off and kids have been disappointed! So hilarious! That'll teach those gullible proles! [/sarcasm]

The thing is, I'm not much of a Christmas-y person myself. I haven't put any decorations up (at home, although I was asked to put up a tree at work), I haven't done any Christmas shopping, I have no holiday plans apart from putting my feet up, and yet I feel no need to turn into the worst kind of terminal misanthrope, the type who laughs on the outside while slowly dying on the inside, taking some perverse pride in low-grade shitness. Probably because my lack of Christmas activities is down to personal laziness rather than humbuggery.

Yeah, Christmas gets taken too far. It seems like I start seeing Christmas stuff earlier and earlier in the year, and that shit should stop - there shouldn't be a sniff of anything Christmas until December at the absolute earliest. There's too much of an emphasis on buying crap, rather than brightening up a dismal period of the year with a festival of decorations, good food/drink and the companionship of friends & family.

That's as far as I'll bother with Christmas, the shopping et al,can gan to fuck.

 

[Nine Bob Note]

The Lion, the Witch and the Charity Shop?

 

[Giles]

What do the fools expect? You can't expect "real Christmas magic" for £20 surely?

Just some crappy toys, disillusioned (smoking) elves, creepy Santa and some fake snow!