Disastrous family seasonal attractions and the never to be forgotten Lapland New Forest Theme Park

[NoXion]

It was difficult to select reviews to post up, because there are tons and everyone is so, so pissed off!

Does get me wondering, who happily pays for this? I'd have thought that the kind of people with the money to throw away would know about better things to do. Or has greedy grifting cuntery soaked into everything to the point where there aren't any alternatives?

 

[pinkmonkey]

I can see from the reviews that folks have been before and are astounded at the price gouging and general shiteness this year. Word must’ve got around because theres plenty of ticket availability next week and this weekend isn’t a sell-out.

 

[JimW]

Would also have thought at those prices customers would include the type willing and able to pursue a complaint and seek recourse, so possibly false economy.

 

[spitfire]

I went a couple of times when it first started and it was a half decent day out. Then it became horrifically busy so never went back.

Sounds fucking awful.

 

[Artaxerxes]

I have no idea why you would go to a spinning bar, that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

 

[Epona]

I have no idea why you would go to a spinning bar, that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Buying beer probably too expensive to get the same effect without the bar actually spinning...

 

[Elpenor]

I have no idea why you would go to a spinning bar, that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Having once tried taking poppers immediately before going on a waltzer, I agree

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Frau Bahn taking the brats on Wednesday, having been wanting to for years and this time she's finally ignoring the many years of wisdom gained on shite winterval attractions. Pre-booked three rides, something like £150 spent so far. I will meet them for dinner in Soho afterwards, shall report back on their verdicts.

 

[neonwilderness]

Dishevelled Santa wearing socks disappoints families at Metrocentre grotto

After Santa called in sick a replacement was found but his dishevelled appearance left visitors feeling far from festive

www.chroniclelive.co.uk

Instead of being greeted by a jolly-looking man wearing a plush red suit, children were introduced to a half-hearted version who sat in his socks instead of the traditional big black boots. A matted beard and the absence of the iconic Santa hat added to the unkempt look, as shown in photos sent in by families.

After half an hour, we got into the Winter Wonderscape part. Overall it took just over an hour to meet Santa. [When we did] he was wearing socks and moaning out loud asking, 'How many more children do I need to see before my break?'

 

[BusLanes]

Met someone who went when it opened a few weeks ago, said it was fine. But she'd been a few times and had determined best time to go was when it first opened before shit falls apart

 

[cupid_stunt]

Having once tried taking poppers immediately before going on a waltzer, I agree

We did acid for a fun-fair visit once, we're the only ones on the waltzer, and kept insisting the guy spun us more and more, it also made the hall of mirrors much more interesting!

 

[Epona]

We did acid for a fun-fair visit once, we're the only ones on the waltzer, and kept insisting the guy spun us more and more, it also made the hall of mirrors much more interesting!

What would have made it even better was if you found out afterwards there was no hall of mirrors

 

[quiet guy]

Walked through the Brum Christmas market yesterday and was very underwhelmed. I think 85% of the stalls were Bier kellers, 10% were German sausage sellers/ other food stuffs and the last 5% were over priced gift items. Glad I hadn't made a conscious effort to head there and was just passing through.

 

[Sweet FA]

We did acid for a fun-fair visit once, we're the only ones on the waltzer, and kept insisting the guy spun us more and more, it also made the hall of mirrors much more interesting!

It became tradition at Shambala to neck pills then go on the swings carousel thingy half an hour later - whoooooosh!

 

[High Voltage]

We did acid for a fun-fair visit once, we're the only ones on the waltzer, and kept insisting the guy spun us more and more, it also made the hall of mirrors much more interesting!

What would have made it even better was if you found out afterwards there was no hall of mirrors

I used to love wandering around Woolworths on the tail end of an acid trip, especially around the Christmas period when they had even more sparkly and brightly lit tat on display, still just under the influence for it to be fun but not so bad as to be a liability, and looking at very straight people in the final desperate throes of a pre-Christmas prezzy buying frenzy with the desperation starting to dawn that they'd left stuff too late ... again

 

[BigMoaner]

Watched a vlogger (adventure me) get turned away from Hyde Park Winter Wonderland for having a camera and then looked at some of the reviews for this years effort. Mostly one star, it’s turned to slush, this year. Some of the prices tho - £1.3k to book a picnic bench for 10 in the Bavarian tent at peak time? £900 for the same thing but near the back? WTF?
Even the workers are pissed off!

View attachment 404516

The place is hell on earth and no joke you truly need to set aside about 150 for a evening out there if your going to eat, a FEW drinks, a few rides etc . Christ knows how much for an entire family. It’s crap shitty capitalism at its worse. The place is a charmless rip off shit hole and is a disgrace to London.

I am sick and tired of feeling ripped off everywhere I go in this country.

 

[BigMoaner]

Anyone been a local coop recently? You need a about fifty quid for one basket.

Tired of it. I earn good money and still left with nothing at the end of the month just by spending said month being shafted every time I walk into a shop etc.

 

[Orang Utan]

We did acid for a fun-fair visit once, we're the only ones on the waltzer, and kept insisting the guy spun us more and more, it also made the hall of mirrors much more interesting!

What would have made it even better was if you found out afterwards there was no hall of mirrors

It became tradition at Shambala to neck pills then go on the swings carousel thingy half an hour later - whoooooosh!

I used to love wandering around Woolworths on the tail end of an acid trip, especially around the Christmas period when they had even more sparkly and brightly lit tat on display, still just under the influence for it to be fun but not so bad as to be a liability, and looking at very straight people in the final desperate throes of a pre-Christmas prezzy buying frenzy with the desperation starting to dawn that they'd left stuff too late ... again

Me and some pals once visited the Science Museum whilst dosed up on pink microdots. Thoroughly recommended (though maybe not for the other people there )

 

[BigMoaner]

Was at my beloved Millwall yesterday.

£3.70 for little bottle of Fanta.

Think that through for one minute. Ffs

 

[High Voltage]

Was at my beloved Millwall yesterday.

£3.70 for little bottle of Fanta.

Think that through for one minute. Ffs

On the plus side. They're now selling bottles at Millwall

 

[cupid_stunt]

I used to love wandering around Woolworths on the tail end of an acid trip, especially around the Christmas period when they had even more sparkly and brightly lit tat on display, still just under the influence for it to be fun but not so bad as to be a liability, and looking at very straight people in the final desperate throes of a pre-Christmas prezzy buying frenzy with the desperation starting to dawn that they'd left stuff too late ... again

When I first moved to Somerset, I was pleased the mushroom season started before the carnival season, those floats are stunning anyway, but seeing my first Taunton carnival tripping my nuts off on shrooms was extra special.

 

[BigMoaner]

On the plus side. They're now selling bottles at Millwall

They remove the lid

 

[BigMoaner]

Merry Christmas, sorry derail, carry on

 

[Numbers]

They remove the lid

Same at the Bees

 

[cupid_stunt]

Me and some pals once visited the Science Museum whilst dosed up on pink microdots. Thoroughly recommended (though maybe not for the other people there )

We did acid for a laser show set to Pink Floyd music at the Planetarium in Madame Tussauds, back in the 80s, I reckon most people in there were tripping.

I remember the guy before the show started saying something like, 'welcome to the Planetarium, we have four lasers and four colours, many people claim to see more than four lasers and four colours, if you see more than four lasers and four colours, enjoy your trip.'

 

[Orang Utan]

We did acid for a laser show set to Pink Floyd music at the Planetarium in Madame Tussauds, back in the 80s, I reckon most people in there were tripping.

I remember the guy before the show started saying something like, 'welcome to the Planetarium, we have four lasers and four colours, many people claim to see more than four lasers and four colours, if you see more than four lasers and four colours, enjoy your trip.'

There was an exhibition about light or something at the Science Museum and there was this giant kaleidoscope (real, not hallucinated) that you could walk inside and look above at the psychedelic light display. Ideal for the occasion. We had so much fun in it until a member of staff asked us to leave. We asked why as there was no one else there. The staff member contradicted us and pointed to a hitherto unnoticed gathering of alarmed small children and their horrified parents. They them told us that the exhibition was for under fives and that we were scaring the kids.

 

[Sweet FA]

Final derail from me.

The year Dave started early before we'd left the kids at the tents.



Fucksake Dave.

 

[kabbes]

Was at my beloved Millwall yesterday.

£3.70 for little bottle of Fanta.

Think that through for one minute. Ffs

I appreciate the sentiment but can’t help feeling that a win/win solution here is don’t buy Fanta…

 

[Orang Utan]

Fanta, AKA Nazi Pop

 

[moomoo]

Walked through the Brum Christmas market yesterday and was very underwhelmed. I think 85% of the stalls were Bier kellers, 10% were German sausage sellers/ other food stuffs and the last 5% were over priced gift items. Glad I hadn't made a conscious effort to head there and was just passing through.

We don’t bother anymore. It’s the same 4 stalls selling the same stuff being repeated. And too crowded and expensive.