Disastrous family seasonal attractions and the never to be forgotten Lapland New Forest Theme Park

[Badgers]

PM on way x

 

[iona]

Think I've mentioned this on here before but I ran into a couple of elves in superdrug where they were picking up their methadone one xmas

 

[cupid_stunt]

I got thinking, what is the 'life of an elf'?

Thank God for the internet...

A Day in the Life: What Elf Does at the North Pole

Have you ever wondered what Elf does all day at the magical North Pole? Being such good friends with all the little guys, we were able to speak to one Christmas Elf to find out!

www.elfforchristmas.co.uk

Sounds like a hard life, so fuck that!

 

[quiet guy]

Bet they'll be sizeist. Can't see much in the way for a 6ft 1inch and 18stone guy

 

[ElizabethofYork]

Bet they'll be sizeist. Can't see much in the way for a 6ft 1inch and 18stone guy

Santa?

 

[quiet guy]

Not enough of a beard and wouldn't fancy wearing a false one for a lengthy period of time

 

[quiet guy]

This is the way forward for all new projects

The new mantra for these vanity projects "Build it shit and they will come"

 

[Badgers]

The new mantra for these vanity projects "Build it shit and they will come"

The British way

 

[Saul Goodman]

The British way

It wasn't always the case. I think British Leyland were the forerunners in this field.

 

[two sheds]

The new mantra for these vanity projects "Build it shit and they will come"

Not so new - I worked for GEC

 

[Chilli.s]

TBH that'll look very good on anyone's linkdin, fully trained elf

 

[UrbaneFox]

Bet they'll be sizeist. Can't see much in the way for a 6ft 1inch and 18stone guy

Mrs Santa? Trans Santa?

 

[Epona]

Not enough of a beard and wouldn't fancy wearing a false one for a lengthy period of time

Yeah - lots of people have to wear work uniforms that they don't like.

 

[skyscraper101]

Thorpe Park slammed for '100+ minute queues', 'actors who don't seem bothered'

 

[Elpenor]

Thorpe Park slammed for '100+ minute queues', 'actors who don't seem bothered'

A further story reveals:

Three sisters were left “in tears“ after only getting on two rides in 13 hours on a visit to Thorpe Park having spent more than £150.
CJ, 25, Shelby, 24, and Milan, 22, visited the theme park in Chertsey on Saturday

I felt bad until I realised they were adults!

 

[skyscraper101]

"Sarah Maloney responded: "Snap! The only 2 actors my daughter came across said they were “off duty”."

 

[Elpenor]

Obviously not method actors

 

[two sheds]

or perhaps they were

 

[weepiper]

There isn't a shit Halloween theme park thread so this seems to be the best place to put this, from North Berwick in East Lothian



It's like Passchendaele. Apparently the car park is rammed

 

[Pickman's model]

.

 

[TopCat]

There isn't a shit Halloween theme park thread so this seems to be the best place to put this, from North Berwick in East Lothian

View attachment 294892View attachment 294893

It's like Passchendaele. Apparently the car park is rammed

It appears to be a large patch of mud that had had manky pumpkins scattered upon it. They are not growing there and never have. I really like it. The second pic with the wet morose figure with the wheelbarrow, it made me feel happier about my life. Inspiring. 9/10.

 

[TopCat]

I enlarged the pumpkin patch second pic. It appears to have one of the comedy head in a hole photo boards at the back ala the seaside. Is the first one a scary clown?

 

[TopCat]

Can someone use skillz and make it bigger/clearer?

I had a go. This scary.

 

[Pickman's model]

PM on way x

The telegram the penguins want to read

 

[platinumsage]

Can someone use skillz and make it bigger/clearer?

I had a go. This scary. View attachment 294933

This is from nicer times before the nasty public trampled everywhere:

​

 

[quiet guy]

There isn't a shit Halloween theme park thread so this seems to be the best place to put this, from North Berwick in East Lothian

View attachment 294892View attachment 294893

It's like Passchendaele. Apparently the car park is rammed

How many of your Scottish pounds is this fantastic experience?

 

[neonwilderness]

Fury erupts over Doncaster Christmas market dubbed 'Britain's worst' and 'full of tat'

Fury has erupted over a ‘shambolic’ Doncaster Christmas market event described as ‘misleading,’ ‘full of tat’ and ‘Britain’s worst’ after people travelled from across the country for a festive fayre – only to be met with a handful of stalls.

www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk

And those that actually made it were left disappointed after discovering a handful of stalls, barely any food or drink and traders ‘standing in the dark on a muddy field.’

“I wish we hadn't bothered, there was about seven stalls and none which interested us. There was no food or drink stalls inside or out. Waste of time.”

“Wouldn't let her manage a p*** up in a brewery,” wrote another. “She is totally rubbish. Needs a good kick up the back side.”

“Promised my children we were going to a Christmas market with rides, sweety stalls and Santa……..what the hell, waste of my time and fuel….about four stalls and Santa sat on a stage inside club very upset children,”

“We were there five mins. Almost in pitch black in middle of a field. Oh and Santa sat in the sports club,”

“Absolutely thrilling - travelling miles for fake designer clothes and a bunch of mud on a field,”

“Fox fur coats, fake designer crap, tacky s**** and a bouncy castle. No food? Nowhere for a cuppa tea? What a waste of time and fuel.”

 

[cupid_stunt]

That'll teach them for going to a bloody Christmas Market at the start of November.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Fury erupts over Doncaster Christmas market dubbed 'Britain's worst' and 'full of tat'

Fury has erupted over a ‘shambolic’ Doncaster Christmas market event described as ‘misleading,’ ‘full of tat’ and ‘Britain’s worst’ after people travelled from across the country for a festive fayre – only to be met with a handful of stalls.

www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk

That sounds brilliant

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

One upset visitor added: “Poor selection of stalls...

Christ, Chanel and Versace not good enough for the denizens of Doncaster now