Disastrous family seasonal attractions and the never to be forgotten Lapland New Forest Theme Park

[Lord Camomile]

This thread is bumped earlier and earlier every year

 

[skyscraper101]

I mean, Winter Wonderland is shite though isn't it. But not good shite with a promise of laplandesque snow kingdoms which actually turn out to be some drab warehouse with a bouncy castle and a broken ice rink. Just a a well organised yet overpriced fairground.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Two words:

Pontins. Grotto.

 

[Badgers]

Two words:

Pontins. Grotto.

Underrated post ^

https://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/lapland-new-forest.199177/#post-7056756

Underrated post ^

 

[Badgers]

Two words:

Pontins. Grotto.

Am tempted to contact Pontin's with a rough proposal

 

[DaveCinzano]

Am tempted to contact Pontin's with a rough proposal

Isn't that their budget Engagement Weekend package?

 

[Combustible]

Two words:

Pontins. Grotto.

The word is grotty

 

[Ground Elder]

I think there's a lot of potential this year - large well organised events cancelled and a load of Showmen in need of quick cash after a lost season. I'm dreaming of a shite Christmas

 

[T & P]

Two words:

Pontins. Grotto.

Gosh... I’d bet on Pontins’ hired Santa making Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Bad Santa look good...

 

[billy_bob]

The current situation just got me thinking how Covid might affect our annual schadenfreudean tradition. At first I thought Coronavirus will deprive us of any new Laplands this year. But now I reckon it might turn out to be a great source of new material. For instance, angry parents with Disappointed Children Left in Tears™ at not being allowed to sit on Santa's lap, but having to shout at him what they want for Chirstmas from 2m away.

Shouting is particularly risky behaviour because of increased particle transmission. More on-brand for 2020 would be to do it via Zoom.

 

[UrbaneFox]

Covid-19 could ruin this thread.

 

[Badgers]

Covid-19 could ruin this thread.

The worst thing about the whole pandemic

 

[DaveCinzano]

Covid-19 could ruin this thread.

In the same way the ricin industry tanked thanks to those carpetbagging novichok chancers

 

[billy_bob]

Covid-19 could ruin this thread.

In the same way the ricin industry tanked thanks to those carpetbagging novichok chancers

I bet Acme's sales of cherry bombs have gone through the floor since the rise of the Global War On Terror. And they used to be such harmless fun...

 

[Supine]

Hey kids, who wants to sit on father Christmases knee this year?

 

[neonwilderness]

It looks like there's still plenty of scope for some Christmas fail this year

Social Distance Santa & Elf Experience, Various Locations Glasgow | What's On Glasgow

This year, major attractions have been cancelled but Christmas has not and Santa is busy and so are his little elves planning a safe socially distanced experience for you and your family! What's On Glasgow - your guide to events in Glasgow!

www.whatsonglasgow.co.uk

Socially Distanced Christmas Experience - The Party Kingdom

Socially Distanced Essex Christmas Grotto. Favourite Xmas Characters with a sprinkle of Party Kingdom Magic! Book now 01245 327787 www.thepartykingdom.co.uk

thepartykingdom.co.uk

Santa is having Covid-19 training to keep Christmas safe

Changes include making grottos across the country socially distanced

www.somersetlive.co.uk

 

[Badgers]

 

[Mation]

It looks like there's still plenty of scope for some Christmas fail this year

Santa is having Covid-19 training to keep Christmas safe

Changes include making grottos across the country socially distanced

www.somersetlive.co.uk

View attachment 229111

I want to make some sort of gag about hand santaiser, but it's very difficult to say. (Probably why they're wearing gloves instead! )

 

[Badgers]

It looks like there's still plenty of scope for some Christmas fail this year

Social Distance Santa & Elf Experience, Various Locations Glasgow | What's On Glasgow

This year, major attractions have been cancelled but Christmas has not and Santa is busy and so are his little elves planning a safe socially distanced experience for you and your family! What's On Glasgow - your guide to events in Glasgow!

www.whatsonglasgow.co.uk

Socially Distanced Christmas Experience - The Party Kingdom

Socially Distanced Essex Christmas Grotto. Favourite Xmas Characters with a sprinkle of Party Kingdom Magic! Book now 01245 327787 www.thepartykingdom.co.uk

thepartykingdom.co.uk

Santa is having Covid-19 training to keep Christmas safe

Changes include making grottos across the country socially distanced

www.somersetlive.co.uk

View attachment 229111

Oh yes oh yes

'thepartykingdom.co.uk' sounds like a winner

Even though this year’s event is very different, it still includes:

• A quality present for each child (and baby ticket)
• A treat from the Elf Workshop, for each child to take home and enjoy (This is not included in a baby ticket)
• A short magic show, just for your family
• A generic chat with Father Christmas
• 2 snowballs, per child (this is not included in a baby ticket), to throw at each other for your own mini snowball fight in our Winter Wonderland, and to take home to carry on the fun!
• Seeing the Magical Owls
• Mother Christmas who will give you a lovely story for you to read to your kids once you are at home
• Making Christmas wishes with the Christmas Fairy
• Fun, games and singing all the way around the experience
• Our fabulous Elves, including the one and only, Trixie!

 

[Badgers]

£7.50 for a 'baby ticket'

#boom

 

[neonwilderness]

Oh yes oh yes

'thepartykingdom.co.uk' sounds like a winner

Sounds fucking awful

 

[Ground Elder]

I want to make some sort of gag about hand santaiser

save it for the crackers

 

[DaveCinzano]

'thepartykingdom.co.uk' sounds like a winner

100% the repurposing of a lapsed porn site URL

 

[Badgers]

100% the repurposing of a lapsed porn site URL

Probably less child friendly

 

[Pickman's model]

'Festival of Brexit' organisers launch application process

The festival’s boss, Martin Green, insists it is not about Brexit but about bringing people together

www.theguardian.com

This festival of Brexit will be the undoubted victor

 

[two sheds]

'Festival of Brexit' organisers launch application process

The festival’s boss, Martin Green, insists it is not about Brexit but about bringing people together

www.theguardian.com

This festival of Brexit will be the undoubted victor

Using the working title Festival UK * 2022 organisers have opened applications for teams who wish to be commissioned to come up with ideas for the event.

Surely we could come up with some world beating ideas

 

[Pickman's model]

This thread is bumped earlier and earlier every year

Easter eggs will be hitting supermarket shelves next week in another sign of the climate emergency affecting festivals

 

[Pickman's model]

Surely we could come up with some world beating ideas

Driving Boris Johnson and his foul cabal 'the cabinet' on foot from Newgate to Tyburn where they will be publicly turned into penguin pellets

 

[two sheds]

Everyone in the UK with glasses take them off and take a sponsored drive to Durham. All proceeds to the nearest A&I unit to treat the participant.

 

[pogofish]

This thread is bumped earlier and earlier every year

It is the only acceptable winterval thread to bump...!