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Coronavirus meme/panic/fear mongering general thread

Alternative way to do it:

Tourist: I saw your advert in the bolour supplement
Bounder: The what?
Tourist: The bolour supplement
Bounder: The colour supplement?
Tourist: Yes I'm sorry I can't say the letter 'B'
Bounder: C?
Tourist: Yes that's right. It's all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a spoolboy. I was attacked by a bat
Bounder: A cat?
Tourist: No a bat
Bounder: Can you say the letter 'K'
Tourist: Oh yes, Khaki, king, kettle, Kuwait, Keble Bollege Oxford
Bounder: Why don't you say the letter 'K' instead of the letter 'C'
Tourist: what you mean... spell bolour with a K
Bounder: Yes
Tourist: Kolour. Oh that's very good, I never thought of that what a silly bunt
 
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