Weedy things you say (and sing) to cats

[Donna Ferentes]

There are lots and lots of these, and by the time I've finished you will probably feel quite ill, but let's start off with these three:

1. Spoken:

Kit, cat, kitty the cat, kitty the kitty the kitty the kitty the kit, cat, kitty the cat, kitty the kitty the cat.

2. Spoken:

Pussycat, pussycat, show us your paws.

3. Sung, to a tune of whose title I'm unsure - it starts off like Three Blind Mice but doesn't continue that way:

Food for cats
Food for cats
Lots of food
For cats who are good
And food for cats who are fat.

I can, and do, continue in much the same vein for hours, aided by the fortunate coincidence that cat rhymes with fat and that Alfred falls (with a thud) into the overlapping section of the appropriate Venn diagram.

Yourselves?

 

[RubyToogood]

I think it's just you, mate

 

[Donna Ferentes]

What do you say to yours then? "Pass the milk"?

 

[MightyAphrodite]

Pussycat, pussycat, show us your paws.

that has amused me to no end - its also very sweet

 

[SubZeroCat]

I sometimes speak French to cats, but whether I speak French or English I always use a cootchy coo type voice (but never with babies )

I say silly things like 'Yeees, who's the cutest little kitty? yes you are etc....' and I squeal and coo and almost purr with delight

I feel no shame!

 

[Idaho]

I tend to shout "GET OUT OF MY GARDEN YOU F*CKING VERMIN"

 

[Donna Ferentes]

I do French too! Nothing very sophisticated, just ici le chat qui marche, et ici le chat qui mange, that sort of thing.

 

[maomao]

There was a whole ouvre of songs composed for Ming who passed away in September. Some of these are being slowly adapted for our new cat Penny but I have found myself a little short on things to coo to her. I've missed Ming more since she came to live with us (not to say that she's not a splendid cat).

 

[jd]

When I was a small child my family generally spoke to animals in Welsh, and I still do a bit of that. I can't spell any of it at all, though, so you're out of luck there.

I do also sing to my cat, but I seem to have supressed all memory of the lyrics/tunes.

 

[passenger]

Daddys home, how are you, nice sleepys arr

then they moan like hell untill the foods on there plates, so i tell them

to wait in line, fatty gets his own super big bowl

 

[innit]

My cat has a million silly names depending on mood, she is my princess ballerina fairytoes with a lovely furry leotard.

I used to sing my other cat Temptation - by new order - the bit that goes "ooh you've got blue eyes, ooh you've got green eyes, ooh you've got grey eyes". Because his eyes were all funny, and because he didn't usually like me singing - he only liked that specific song.

 

[kea]

oo's a cutie wootie wittle puddy tat eh

 

[Private Storm]

Note to everyone with special 'songs' etc for their cats. They understand every single word and probably think you are slightly retarded.

 

[madzone]

roflpmp!!!
You lot are so fucking hard as nails on general and here you are in the 'lounge' singing to your cats!
Fucking Ace

 

[Idaho]

Daddys home

<shudder>

 

[jerseymonkey]

I tend to tell my cat that we're going to eat him for dinner in various guises: pussta with pussto, roast puss, etc. He doesn't seem to mind.

I also regularly sing to him and will happily change the lyrics of most songs to involve either miaowing or variations on the word puss. A particular favourite (any dubious insinuations unintended - merely due to it being my favourite song at the time) is Kelis's 'My puss puss brings all the boys to the yard'.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Upping the ante

Having decided, some time ago, that the short word cat was not nearly grandiose enough a title for one of these marvellous creatures to bear, I was trying to think of an alternative. However, on reflection, I could think of no more honourable thing to say about anybody or anything than that they were a cat.

Therefore I have taken to describing both Alfred and Guthrum as "a cat who is a cat".

 

[fishfingerer]

I shake my cat's paw and say in prince charles voice "and what do you do then?"

 

[kea]

"little kitty, little kitty" to the tune of the carol "little donkey"

 

[madzone]

"little kitty, little kitty" to the tune of the carol "little donkey"

You're scaring me now

 

[MarkMark]

I like to run into the living room, pretending to be one of the three musketeers, and shout Radleys name at the top of my voice, holding aloft an imaginary sword.. He looks at me, distainfully and unphased, as if I'm a right dickhead.

Bless him.

 

[kea]

You're scaring me now

that's my intention

 

[Donna Ferentes]

"little kitty, little kitty" to the tune of the carol "little donkey"

Don't be embarrassed, I did that at Xmas too.

Also:

We're off to see the kitty
The wonderful kitty the cat
He really is a bit of a kit
Although he's extremely fat.

 

[moose]

It's a bit more boisterous in my house - football chants aimed at our two, with appropriate synchronised pointing and hand gestures:

"Who's the ginger in the stripes?"

"You're not purring any more!"

"We'll keep the red cat flying high"

"He's fat, he's round, he bounces on the ground, Sparky cat, Sparky cat" etc.

and all your other terrace favourites

 

[aqua]

roflmao @ moose

 

[rubbershoes]

Our cat Percy has a theme tune instead of a birthday. To the tune of The Herbs
He’s Percy puss
He’s a puss called Perce
His tail he tries to get
But he’s never caught it yet

Sadly it’s both unoriginal and untrue


Mullet the dog also has a special song, though it isn’t actually a theme tune

To the tune of the Muppet Show and all based on real events

It’s time to steal a sausage
It’s time to chase the cat
It’s time to bark at nothing
On the Mullet show tonight

That verse came together quite easily but I haven’t managed a second one yet

 

[Wolfie]

....
I used to sing my other cat Temptation - by new order - the bit that goes "ooh you've got blue eyes, ooh you've got green eyes, ooh you've got grey eyes". Because his eyes were all funny, ....

That's funny I used to sing that to Shirl when I first met her for the same reason

(fuck - I'm in trouble now )

as for the cat - no singing but I do call him Perkins (or should that be Purrkins) as well as his official name - Hopper.

 

[jerseymonkey]

Having decided, some time ago, that the short word cat was not nearly grandiose enough a title for one of these marvellous creatures to bear, I was trying to think of an alternative. However, on reflection, I could think of no more honourable thing to say about anybody or anything than that they were a cat.

Therefore I have taken to describing both Alfred and Guthrum as "a cat who is a cat".

Oz is merely THE pusster, spoken in a games show host stylee, or occasionally puss the puss.

 

[rubbershoes]

Is the right thread to mention singing to traffic lights?

 

[LDR]

Missuz Scott employs baby talk with communicating with the cats. It drives me mad.

I talk to the cats in a very mature, matter-of-fact way.