The Kiss Your Arse Goodbye Thread

[cupid_stunt]

Margaret Killjoy

What a perfect name for such a discussion.

 

[hitmouse]

What a perfect name for such a discussion.

Yes, I suspect that may be a deliberate nom de plume and not actually the offspring of a proud Mr and Mrs Killjoy.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I assumed so.

 

[steeplejack]

If there's a four minute warning I'll sit quietly & listen to some nice music with my wife. We live in the middle of our city so we're dead anyway. I'd rather get it over with than try and survive in a nuclear winter on a diet of axle grease and some out-of-date scampi fries.

The good news is is that the rich, well padded, well fed sociopaths won't have much left to extract profit from when 30 days are up and they emerge from their bunkers. The people they exploit will all be dead or dying and they will have to do everything for themsevles- assuming their remaining staff don;t have them shot out of hand.

To be honest I preferred it when this forum was full of petty bickering about moderating decisions and who was DJ ing on Friday nights.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I probably don't need to worry about it. I'm within the blast range of US Strategic Command. I'll probably be ash floating down on Ohio before I even get a warning.

 

[Lord Camomile]

scampi fries

No-one told me there'd be scampi fries.

Starting to feel a little more optimistic about the whole thing, now.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

While I'm sure the current state of leadership in the West has no desire to move into a bunker and subsist on a diet of cold beans for the foreseeable future, I wouldn't entirely discount the possibility that some combination of arrogance, stupidity and plain bad luck might find them stumbling in that direction.

I've been doing some reading this morning about bug-out bags. The details I mentioned in my previous post are OK if you can remain in place, but if one is required to move quickly from home, then a decently-outfitted scram bag could prove to be vital.

I do have a bugout bag. More importantly, my car is a "bag of holding." Anything you can ever want can usually be found in it.

 

[Sasaferrato]

This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes, again

 

[Lord Camomile]

If there's a four minute warning

before I even get a warning.

I've been wondering, actually, what is the kind of warning we could expect these days?

Good to know if I should set off at a sprint or long-distance pace...

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I've been wondering, actually, what is the kind of warning we could expect these days?

Good to know if I should set off at a sprint or long-distance pace...

I think it depends on where you are. If you're away from a first strike zone and large population centers, you'll probably get a warning. I'm close to a prime, first strike target, so I may not.

 

[Sprocket.]

As long as me, Mrs S and the dogs are all together we decided long ago we couldn’t give two monkeys if the world turned to ash.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I'm not dying without a struggle. Fuck fatalism, I'll rather take a chance at failing, than just give up and be doomed for certain.

I'd like to survive just long enough to eliminate all of the "lone wolf" survivalists who think they're going to be kings after SHTF.

 

[Ax^]

if it going to happen better be this week only down I paignton till Friday

arsehole end of a country so hopefully away from a strike zone

 

[Sasaferrato]

There's a nuclear power plant at Hartlepool so it will be the marauding, mutated radioactive monkeys that will be the biggest problem.

I though you had hanged them?

 

[moochedit]

Has New Zealand lifted their covid entry restrictions yet?

 

[Sasaferrato]

I probably don't need to worry about it. I'm within the blast range of US Strategic Command. I'll probably be ash floating down on Ohio before I even get a warning.

If it happens, the best way to go really.

Nowhere will be safe. It isn't that long since Welsh lamb was declared safe after the fallout from Chernobyl.

 

[NoXion]

I'd like to survive just long enough to eliminate all of the "lone wolf" survivalists who think they're going to be kings after SHTF.

I'm pretty sure those dudes would be among the first to bite it once the megadeaths are out of the way. The reasons for that have pretty much everything to do with social reasons, as argued in this article.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Right, if I remember my basic principles of survival, they go something like this order:

1. Will. You must first actually want to survive. Without this, everything else falls apart. I can see that some of you have already failed this first hurdle, and civilisation hasn't even collapsed yet. Shakes head. Never mind. The new order of the world will have to do without, I guess.

2. Shelter. Somewhere to protect you from the elements. In the case of a nuclear exchange, shelter is especially important if one is to weather the initial fallout period. In such circumstances, it is imperative that you remain indoors and limit physical activity, so preparation is key. I already have a place and I doubt that anyone will be collecting rent, but it might be helpful to scout out a second location before everything goes to shit, just in case.

3. Water. The very stuff of life. Got a good idea for this one. So since there's going to be a pre-amble before the nukes start flying, the plumbing won't fail immediately, which should give me time to run one final bath. Yep, I'm filling that sucker with as much fresh cold water as it can hold. Water purification tablets sound like a good thing to stockpile.

4. Food. Essential to keep you going. When the pandemic started, my stockpile of non-perishable food consisted of a couple of cans of corned beef and a Fray Bentos pie or two. Stock which I did not rotate. Oh dear. But since then, I've picked up the habit of having an entire cupboard full of cans, which I keep topped up and rotate via consumption.

Now those are the basics I half-remember from various survival books and whatnot, but I think in the aftermath of a nuclear exchange, there should be a fifth addition:

5. Community/continuity - no man is an island. We humans are social creatures, our strength as survivors is greatest when we cooperate. So by using the opportunity provided by the first four, I should endeavour to link up with other survivors and pool our efforts towards our mutual survival as well as towards the eventual re-establishment of civilisation.


These are the kinds of things I will keep in mind to help me, because I'm a survivor with the will to keep on living, not some soppy wannabe starving artist taking the opportunity to mope about uselessly before expiring, or whatever other kind of worthless drama llama.

You'll also want some source of warmth.

 

[RainbowTown]

Coming to a screen near you, any day soon.............

 

[moochedit]

You'll also want some source of warmth.

Don't worry about that. The nukes will create plenty of heat

 

[NoXion]

Don't worry about that. The nukes will create plenty of heat

I'll just burn the belongings of those who gave up without even trying. They'll be too dead to mind much.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I'm pretty sure those dudes would be among the first to bite it once the megadeaths are out of the way. The reasons for that have pretty much everything to do with social reasons, as argued in this article.

I've talked to a lot of these people and I think they tend to own all the gear, but don't know how to use any of it. Sometimes the gear they have is something that someone designed who just wants to sell you shit. Most of what they have is untested in the field and could fail on them when it is.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Coming to a screen near you, any day soon.............

Well, that was cheerful.

 

[NoXion]

I've talked to a lot of these people and I think they tend to own all the gear, but don't know how to use any of it. Often the gear they do have is untested in the field and could fail on them when it is.

When I started into looking into this kind of thing, it became quickly apparent that stock rotation during the good times will be essential to improve one's chances. Keeping up that kind of schedule seems to me to be the real challenge.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

When I started into looking into this kind of thing, it became quickly apparent that stock rotation during the good times will be essential to improve one's chances. Keeping up that kind of schedule seems to me to be the real challenge.

I also tend to think that having practical knowledge and access to a social network is worth more in the long run. The lone wolves tend to be short on both.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I am increasingly thinking NoXion is tobyjug, or his son.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

This is why Musk and Bezos and that want space travel, once they're sure they can fuck off to their sci-fi new lives there really won't be anything stopping them let it all rip.

Unfortunately subsiding in space requires thousands of support staff on the ground. I imagine a slow death in space could perhaps be worse than in a bunker. Prettier views though.

 

[Smokeandsteam]

To be honest I preferred it when this forum was full of petty bickering about moderating decisions and who was DJ ing on Friday nights.

Will we still be able to post on Urban 75 during the nuclear winter? If so I’ll start a thread titled ‘Vladimir Putin’s time is up’ and we can continue the rucking on that thread.

 

[T & P]

Coming to a screen near you, any day soon.............

Well, they expect us to do quite a few chores in ten-odd minutes…

 

[NoXion]

I am increasingly thinking NoXion is tobyjug, or his son.

Is it really all that to weird for me to think about the preparations one could make (preparations which can be useful in more scenarios than just a nuclear exchange), instead of engaging in maudlin masturbatory navel-gazing?

Will we still be able to post on Urban 75 during the nuclear winter? If so I’ll start a thread titled ‘Vladimir Putin’s time is up’ and we can continue the rucking on that thread.

If I remember correctly, survivability in a nuclear exchange was part of the design spec for ARPAnet, which is the predecessor to the modern internet. Not sure how much of its modern incarnation would survive, but the lack of centralisation still applies to a significant degree.