Son has been kicked out of University

[Clair De Lune]

Ask him if he ignored/didn't reply to any earlier communications from uni. If so it would be good to explore why and then correct that if they let him resit/submit work late. Its not unusual for a young person who has just become independent to use the head in sand approach and not want to let anyone know they're struggling due to shame, it can be a valuable lesson. All the very best to him. If he still loves what he's doing I'm sure he can appeal this but if he feels it's too much for him then there's no harm at looking for alternative courses.

 

[skyscraper101]

Best of luck for your son passenger

I have quite fond memories of being at Uni and living around Wembley in the early 2000s - I almost feel guilty to admit I found it so easy I was working two jobs, dealing with a difficult girlfriend, and dossing about on urban75 by the third year

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

They were very clear what the acceptable levels of work were and I just about made them to hang in till the end then leave with fook all

That’s the ticket

 

[passenger]

It is all up in the air, hopefully, we get given a second chance I have
not spoken to Harry in 2 days, just dreading this, was told there would
be an answer in 5 working days, from Monday It's started dawning on me now
whatever the outcome I will be as good a dad as I can

 

[Superdupastupor]

Double drop out here (in Scotland thank fuk- no fees for getting an education)

First time I was isolated, sharing a grande high vaulted volumoso room with some guy, we didn't speak.

I never wanted to go to uni- even though I self-taught myself to gain a qualification in order to get myself into a very selective course, but I ended up with modules in elec.eng, German literature, Spanish language, and some odd physics course. Not what I was aiming for and I didn't want to be there in the first place!

But there was a fucking harrowing family crisis going on so getting out of town seemed ok. I couldn't deal with it emotionally: there was a death of a granma and I didn't know if my brother was going l to die for about a year. My parents just wouldn't talk to me about what was going on or but for talk sake.

I decided after about 4 weeks that I was dropping out, but being away was away. I did the bare minimum to not rock the boat.

And I was 18, and a very early adopter of mephedrone. Probably half a key. I couldn't sleep on my left flank for many years afterwards as it was uncomfortable in the cardiovascular area.

And shame was the biggest driver of all.

The second time was more to my liking passing a year. Educating the educators in some instances. Not in a dickish way but I read probably 25 publications a month in and around the area of study, no socialising obvs.

But I was a precocious alcoholic. Had a depressive episode// the one's that prick up the ears of GPs. Who tbf we're excellent. I think with hindsight I was on and off depressed since early teens. There's not wrong wit me it's the world that's fucked- a principle that I have had to come to an accomodation with.

Shame and self-mu##. Alk cold-turkies

And now I teach. It's my vocation. Something I care deeply about.

passenger , I wrote this for me. Good luck, you care that's what counts.

 

[pinkmonkey]

6. Ooof...Just remembered the course is Computer Science...Hardest game in the world (imo) at Uni. Was like a course in Footbdll, Fruit Machines, UK Garage or AudioGalaxy for me...I.E Most of the enrollees would do it for fun. The computer lab was their Student Union bar. They could do the assignments in their sleep.

This made me LOL, my bro did conputer science at UMIST, he seemed to be there around 6 years wtf. He failed his first year, that’s all he ever told anyone. My dad had to bail him out constantly, I remember going to stay with him in his Young Ones student house. No work ever got done. We suspect he never graduated, because no one went to any graduation. BUT He always was a jammy sod and of course he landed the right way up. He now earns a shit ton and has about 200 people working for him. He helped create iplayer, worked for the BBC, Sky and is currently working for some American entertainment conglomerate. As you said earlier, uni in your 20’s doesn’t work for all of us. He’s always been better at teaching himself outside of an academic setting. I’m the same, I taught myself a lot of software since the start of the pandemic, but as an employee, I flunked every software course they sent me on, I absorb no information in that setting.

 

[Buddy Bradley]

....or it may be that he doesn't really want to go to uni.

We were discussing your son's predicament, and that was my daughter's take on it.
I remember the phone call from her, voice quivering, asking if I would upset if she quit uni and went back to her old job.

I was not disappointed, not all kids want to continue their schooling. She didn't, but went anyway......
She is now the head of her department.

That was me too. Loved uni life but wasn't feeling the course, so I didn't bother at all with exams, then went to America working on summer camps - there were 3000 miles between us when I had to tell my parents I wasn't going back, made the conversation a bit easier

 

[passenger]

Just a quick update we are still waiting for the uni to let us know if Harry can carry on
or not, we called them today,the person we spoke to said it was 50 / 50 split either way
so you can imagine the stress is building up, if does not work out Harry`s looking at
something called clearance, not sure what this means? tbh just hope they give him a
second chance.

 

[Raheem]

Clearing is the process of applying for course places that have not been filled. That could be at any institution, but probably not at the same one if they won't allow him to continue.

 

[l'Otters]

Do you mean clearing rather than clearance?

 

[Idris2002]

Just a quick update we are still waiting for the uni to let us know if Harry can carry on
or not, we called them today,the person we spoke to said it was 50 / 50 split either way
so you can imagine the stress is building up, if does not work out Harry`s looking at
something called clearance, not sure what this means? tbh just hope they give him a
second chance.

I was wondering what had happened with this one. When they say "it was 50/50 split either way" did they mean that he had a 50/50 chance of getting back in, or that the relevant decision makers were split on whether or not to let him back in?

Well, either way, I hope it works out for him. Just one thing I meant to say at an earlier point in this thread: if the worst happens, and he has to move back in with you, don't under any circumstances let him hole up in his bedroom playing video games.

 

[passenger]

Well really good news the uni has given him a second chance
that was really stressful for all of us,I really was worried about what might of
happened if not, Harry's mum is back from her holiday Saturday, so we can advance
more quickly, sorting the rest out thank god for mums...... thanks for all the
advice /help one happy dad.

 

[two sheds]

When I failed my second year it was actually good for me - I decided I was going to actually study the stuff I was supposed to.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

Well really good news the uni has given him a second chance
that was really stressful for all of us,I really was worried about what might of
happened if not, Harry's mum is back from her holiday Saturday, so we can advance
more quickly, sorting the rest out thank god for mums...... thanks for all the
advice /help one happy dad.

That’s really good news

Sorry I’m coming to this quite late, but was the original problem and its cause identified, with a plan put in place so it doesn’t happen again?

 

[two sheds]

^^ what I was trying to say

 

[passenger]

That’s really good news

Sorry I’m coming to this quite late, but was the original problem and its cause identified, with a plan put in place so it doesn’t happen again?

Yes I think the lesson has been learned, he goes in again this time
learning from the mistakes,it can not happen again and I
will do my very best to help him, as I always do.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

I very much hope that’s the case passenger

However, if it turns out that there’s an underlying issue or learning need there, particularly if he had any similar if lesser struggles at school, I hope the uni is able to pick them up quickly and offer appropriate support. I say this as someone who went through uni twice with an undiagnosed specific learning need.

 

[passenger]

Thank you Agent Sparrow I know where you're coming from.
As mentioned before his friends at uni tell me he is a good student but
tends to leave things until the last minute, and he tends to look
at life with rose-tinted glasses. H has never been out in the big world,he
keeps himself to himself, but uni has helped a lot.

 

[Space Girl]

My son is ina similar situation where he has failed two modules and we are presently on our second appeal otherwise he has to go back part time to redo those (with no funding for the course or accommodation costs etc)

The lesson we have learnt and one you need to keep on top of is that they have to pass there assessments, they get to resubmit them once if they fail first time round - if they don’t get the 120 points at the end of the year, they won’t progress to the next year - you can’t move to another uni either without having the right amount of points to progress to the next year

Funding wise you get the three years plus 1 just in case a year has to be resat

We have found my sons uni crap but the student union have been great so they can also help you if you need help in the future

He is also doing computer science specialising in cyber security and is crap at math but can do computer maths..

I am now going to be checking all of my sons assessments to make sure he stays on track

Hope it all works out for your so.

 

[passenger]

Please keep me informed Space Girl I need to learn more about
this assessments thing, so I can gauge his progress without being
too intrusive, I need to put my foot down a bit I never thought the
golden land of university would be so challenging.

 

[Space Girl]

Please keep me informed Space Girl I need to learn more about
this assessments thing, so I can gauge his progress without being
too intrusive, I need to put my foot down a bit I never thought the
golden land of university would be so challenging.

Yes defo will as it is a mystery and the unis don’t tell you anything- you can track their progress through the year so you do need to have reviews with your son every month and don’t listen to him when he says he doesn’t have the info as they have a dashboard that shows their progression

 

[equationgirl]

Please keep me informed Space Girl I need to learn more about
this assessments thing, so I can gauge his progress without being
too intrusive, I need to put my foot down a bit I never thought the
golden land of university would be so challenging.

As he's over the age of 18 he needs to give his express consent to allow the uni to share anything with you about his progress (or lack thereof). They're not going to ring you if they think there's an issue without him saying that's ok.

 

[Space Girl]

So an update
Student union couldn’t find the time to help with the appeal …
Went to registration and found out that as the two modules he has to re-do are 30 points and under, they do not charge for him to do these part time (great news) as they are only worth 30 points combines - not sure if this is the case for every uni
He will be doing part time one day a week for two semesters
He is in halls so we need to find out if he can pay just for two semesters or if he has to pay for the whole year and if they will be cool with that given he won’t be studying in the last semester
He is not going to appeal as he is stressing out and just wants to get it sorted
We will be pausing his student finance as we don’t want to use it for this part time year as we need it for the remaining two full time years he will need to do in 2023
I will have to pay his rent and food etc but at least I don’t have to pay for the uni study fees
He will also get a job as he is only studying one day a week

It’s been hard to work out what is what as no one explains the points, how many they have to get etc and the implications and costs etc if they fail

I would say as a big lesson learnt - if they fail their assessment and the feedback isn’t clear, insist on clear instructions as to what they failed on and why and what they need to do to improve as this is vital when it comes to resubmitting the work
Also if there are issues that could impact their studies make sure the uni knows as if you don’t tell them, they won’t permit is as a reason for failing

 

[Edie]

So an update
Student union couldn’t find the time to help with the appeal …
Went to registration and found out that as the two modules he has to re-do are 30 points and under, they do not charge for him to do these part time (great news) as they are only worth 30 points combines - not sure if this is the case for every uni
He will be doing part time one day a week for two semesters
He is in halls so we need to find out if he can pay just for two semesters or if he has to pay for the whole year and if they will be cool with that given he won’t be studying in the last semester
He is not going to appeal as he is stressing out and just wants to get it sorted
We will be pausing his student finance as we don’t want to use it for this part time year as we need it for the remaining two full time years he will need to do in 2023
I will have to pay his rent and food etc but at least I don’t have to pay for the uni study fees
He will also get a job as he is only studying one day a week

It’s been hard to work out what is what as no one explains the points, how many they have to get etc and the implications and costs etc if they fail

I would say as a big lesson learnt - if they fail their assessment and the feedback isn’t clear, insist on clear instructions as to what they failed on and why and what they need to do to improve as this is vital when it comes to resubmitting the work
Also if there are issues that could impact their studies make sure the uni knows as if you don’t tell them, they won’t permit is as a reason for failing

My youngest is wanting to do either CS or cyber security and is also crap at maths Can I ask if it was the maths your lad struggled with? And if you’re able to tell me (PM if you want!) which Uni and course I’d be mega grateful.

My fear is him doing CS (rather than cyber security) and failing the maths.

 

[mango5]

Plenty of us on here can give views from the inside, so to speak. I have students in this situation every year. As you rightly point out, every university is different. I'm interested in student experiences or more accurately your summaries and quandaries. Thank you.

 

[equationgirl]

My youngest is wanting to do either CS or cyber security and is also crap at maths Can I ask if it was the maths your lad struggled with? And if you’re able to tell me (PM if you want!) which Uni and course I’d be mega grateful.

My fear is him doing CS (rather than cyber security) and failing the maths.

Even if he struggles, there is a lot of help available, extra sessions if staff can do it, tutorials, hell even a few hours of private tutoring near exam time. Your lad is bright, but it's his call what he does. I personally think he'd get more out of a cyber security course than a comp sci one.

 

[equationgirl]

Also remember this is the chance for students to learn independence and find their own voice. They need to be asking questions about why they're getting the marks they're getting. How/where can they improve? What feedback can they look at?

 

[Space Girl]

My youngest is wanting to do either CS or cyber security and is also crap at maths Can I ask if it was the maths your lad struggled with? And if you’re able to tell me (PM if you want!) which Uni and course I’d be mega grateful.

My fear is him doing CS (rather than cyber security) and failing the maths.

He failed at maths all through school and I had a tutor for him - he failed his gcse and then went to collage to do computer studies and also do his maths and English - Covid came along and they literally passed him even though he didn’t take the exam - I don’t think he would ever have passed tbh - he was however fine with computer maths particularly binary stuff because it’s all about patterns, nothing really to do with maths
He didn’t have enough ucas points to start his degree so went and did a foundation course at uni that preps them for their degree, it had nothing to do with cs, it was all different subjects, which he struggled with too but it did set him up on how to do assessments etc
He then went to go into his degree where his first year is cs and then the rest is where they can specialise and he is focusing on cyber security
, but he has to go and resit the two modules fo no Cybersecurity security for his yet
He is in Winchester uni

He also does bug bounties which you might want to look into for your son just to see if he is any good - websites like hacker one are good places to use

 

[Edie]

He failed at maths all through school and I had a tutor for him - he failed his gcse and then went to collage to do computer studies and also do his maths and English - Covid came along and they literally passed him even though he didn’t take the exam - I don’t think he would ever have passed tbh - he was however fine with computer maths particularly binary stuff because it’s all about patterns, nothing really to do with maths
He didn’t have enough ucas points to start his degree so went and did a foundation course at uni that preps them for their degree, it had nothing to do with cs, it was all different subjects, which he struggled with too but it did set him up on how to do assessments etc
He then went to go into his degree where his first year is cs and then the rest is where they can specialise and he is focusing on cyber security
, but he has to go and resit the two modules fo no Cybersecurity security for his yet
He is in Winchester uni

He also does bug bounties which you might want to look into for your son just to see if he is any good - websites like hacker one are good places to use

Ta. No idea what bug bounties are. My lad seems to capture flags. No idea what that is either #old

 

[Space Girl]

Ta. No idea what bug bounties are. My lad seems to capture flags. No idea what that is either #old

If he is doing the flag captures then he should move onto bug bounties
It’s where they check websites for bugs or vulnerabilities for companies - if they find big ones they can get paid
My son got £350 from marks Spencer’s recently but all via hacker one which is a website that deals with bug bounties - that’s basically all I know as too old to be interested