So who's tried a Greggs vegan sausage roll/steak bake?

[isvicthere?]

I would gladly knock Piers Morgan’s teeth out one at a time for a Greggs vegan sausage roll.
In fact I’d do it for nothing!

 

[8ball]

Ok, been to Greggs, bought one of each, here’s the verdict:

i) The absence of glaze is notable both visually and by texture (see pic).

ii) The vegan pastry is more “cardboardy”. Has a satisfying crunch, but feels a lot more “artificial” than the regular pastry.

iii) There’s a lack of umaminess in the filling that they haven’t quite managed to compensate for, and it looks and feels kind of petri-dish in its origins, but it’s not a bad effort. The texture is somewhere between Frankfurter and pate. They need to find a way of replicating the texture of sphincter fragments.

iv) Just look at them. The vegan ones look a lot more uniform and inorganic, like radiation cladding for a warp core or something.

v) Slightly funny aftertaste, like some component of “sausage flavour” that lingers on longer than the other elements.

I think joustmaster has it right - it’s pretty good if you’re veggie or vegan and would like to be reminded of what sausage rolls were like, but otherwise has a little way to go.

I wanted to like it more. 6.8/10

 

[xenon]

i think i might have been ever so slightly taking the piss.

Ha. Fair enough.

Anyway I'll try one in the week.

Amazing, 10 pages about a sausage roll FFS.

 

[brogdale]

The cunt MP for Solihull thinks it's all a bit of a giggle.



Another name for the Grytviken steamer manifest.

 

[8ball]

The cunt MP for Solihull thinks it's all a bit of a giggle.

View attachment 157931

Another name for the Grytviken steamer manifest.

At least there’s not a knife and fork in shot.

It goes better with a Rioja anyway.

 

[friedaweed]

There's more digging involved in getting soya milk than cow's milk I guess.
Soya milk works the same as dairy when it comes to brushing it on pastry

Why do they call that stuff milk though Why not soya juice or jizz or something like that?

 

[friedaweed]

I wouldn't mind trying one of these now. It's been a very successful bit of marketing this by Greggs; and the apoplexy it seems to have induced has made me chuckle. I've only ever been to a Greggs once but I find myself warming to them. Even if Piers Morgan is in on it somehow.

We went twitching yesterday and we stopped at one on the way because the cafe we go to was closed. I had a baked bean, cheese and sausage pasty and a normal sausage roll. I wasn't that taken by the snorker roll but the pasty was actually really nice.

 

[Edie]

Ok, been to Greggs, bought one of each, here’s the verdict:

i) The absence of glaze is notable both visually and by texture (see pic).

ii) The vegan pastry is more “cardboardy”. Has a satisfying crunch, but feels a lot more “artificial” than the regular pastry.

iii) There’s a lack of umaminess in the filling that they haven’t quite managed to compensate for, and it looks and feels kind of petri-dish in its origins, but it’s not a bad effort. The texture is somewhere between Frankfurter and pate. They need to find a way of replicating the texture of sphincter fragments.

iv) Just look at them. The vegan ones look a lot more uniform and inorganic, like radiation cladding for a warp core or something.

v) Slightly funny aftertaste, like some component of “sausage flavour” that lingers on longer than the other elements.

I think joustmaster has it right - it’s pretty good if you’re veggie or vegan and would like to be reminded of what sausage rolls were like, but otherwise has a little way to go.

I wanted to like it more. 6.8/10

I am very impressed with this thorough review.

 

[8ball]

Why do they call that stuff milk though Why not soya juice or jizz or something like that?

Well, they’ve been doing it for around 800 years, so you should have got used to it by now.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Why do they call that stuff milk though Why not soya juice or jizz or something like that?

We have already established that it’s fine to call anything by whatever you like. From now on I shall call my blue fillet, broccoli.

 

[8ball]

We have already established that it’s fine to call anything by whatever you like. From now on I shall call my blue fillet, broccoli.

They tend not to call it milk on the actual packaging. But as I said, you’re a good many centuries late to be whining about this now.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

They tend not to call it milk on the actual packaging. But as I said, you’re a good many centuries late to be whining about this now.

I ain’t whining. Whilst a committed carnist, I really don’t give a fuck what other choose to eat, or not. The angry vegan trope is quite funny though, as is the newly emerging gammon-gammon-eater.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Why do they call that stuff milk though Why not soya juice or jizz or something like that?

Often it's sold as 'soya drink' or something else without the word milk in it.

I'm sure you're equally furious about 'marsh mallows' which bear no relation to the plant of that name nor the traditional confection made from its root. And all the other products available under late capitalism which bear less-than-accurate names.

 

[friedaweed]

Well, they’ve been doing it for around 800 years, so you should have got used to it by now.

We live in the North West mate we don't have all these faddy eating practices around here. There was a short lived veggie restaurant on the high street but it's turned into a Greggs now I think.

Anyway I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone brushing soya milk on pastry before they bake something, in fact I think I've only ever seen soya milk in Holland and Barrett's fridge. Not seen it in a real persons' fridge. It is odd that they call it milk though

We have already established that it’s fine to call anything by whatever you like. From now on I shall call my blue fillet, broccoli.

Ooh in that case I'm really enjoying this knob feta and onion toasty.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

We live in the North West mate we don't have all these faddy eating practices around here. There was a short lived veggie restaurant on the high street but it's turned into a Greggs now I think.

Anyway I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone brushing soya milk on pastry before they bake something, in fact I think I've only ever seen soya milk in Holland and Barrett's fridge. Not seen it in a real persons' fridge. It is odd that they call it milk though




Ooh in that case I'm really enjoying this knob feta and onion toasty.

In my Covent Garden office they have ‘almond milk’ in the fridge

How do you milk a sodding almond???

 

[DotCommunist]

heh hehehe nut milk

 

[friedaweed]

Often it's sold as 'soya drink' or something else without the word milk in it.

I'm sure you're equally furious about 'marsh mallows' which bear no relation to the plant of that name nor the traditional confection made from its root. And all the other products available under late capitalism which bear less-than-accurate names.

Thanks, that's really interesting.

BTW I'm not furious, I'm not sure were you get that idea from, just passing time whilst eating my toastie and having a giggle with fellow muppets. Is it toasty or toastie?

 

[friedaweed]

heh hehehe nut milk

Aye and then there's that "Milk of the maid" that those filthy Germans neck

 

[friedaweed]

In my Covent Garden office they have ‘almond milk’ in the fridge

How do you milk a sodding almond???

We had an odd one at work who brought some of this in. We kicked her out of the tea kitty quicker than you could milk a walnut mate.

 

[The39thStep]

Why you asking me? I'm not vegan

As a dairy reducing veggie it is something I've thought about though. I wonder if the country did go vegan then maybe cows could be kept as part of crop rotation to fertilize the land for arable use. Not sure how this could be managed without slaughter though. Perhaps reintroduction of some natural predators?

I personally think a massive drop in meat and dairy consumption and a complete end to industrialised and factory farming would be a good step in the right direction

Its an interesting scenario. Most veg production could use compost or green manure based fertilisers tbh . With tractors etc we no longer need horses for ploughing and wouldnt need dogs for the sheep and goats.So probably an end to agrarian working animals . No need for pigs, cattle, chickens, etc. Pity cos I like looking at them in fields when I'm on a train.
We'd still need mass produced cereals, vegetables and fruit though.

 

[kalidarkone]

It's quorn sausage and the pastry will just be like pretty much all other mass produced pastry which has vegetable fat rather than butter. Their normal sausage rolls wont have butter either like.

I haven't got round to trying one yet but do want to! A friend reported that they are tasty but not as big as the normal ones.

Undigestable then!
As I have gotten older I find it really hard to digest Quorn. I've always had difficulty digesting Linda McCartney sausages.

 

[kalidarkone]

We had an odd one at work who brought some of this in. We kicked her out of the tea kitty quicker than you could milk a walnut mate.

I work in a hospital. I noticed that we now do soya milk which is good.

 

[friedaweed]

I work in a hospital. I noticed that we now do soya milk which is good.

It's fackin mingin in tea though matey innit

 

[kalidarkone]

What would happen to all the cows if we didn't drink the milk, eat the flesh , use the leather etc ?

Methane factory?

 

[NoXion]

I've been deliberately avoiding this thread as I didn't want my judgement to be clouded by any pre-conceived notions. Since it's been a while since I've had a Gregg's sausage roll I decided to buy one of their bog-standard ones as well, which I will be eating first.


First sausage roll (pork, I assume):

This seems like your standard sausage roll. Crumbly pastry that leaves crumbs everywhere. That cheap-tasting kind of sausage meat that feels like it's been bulked up a lot with bread or something along those lines. Eating this reminds me that sausage rolls are frequently rather crap. Like so many others. 5/10


Second sausage roll (Quorn, apparently):

Washing down the last of the previous sausage roll with some Desperados beer, I take my first bite into the vegan option. Texture is different! Not better or worse, just different. But what is this flavour? Let's take another bite. I think it's trying to imitate sausage meat. Seems a bit salty? In fact I'd say that the saltiness only thing I don't like about it, the pastry is less crumbly which I consider to be a point in its favour. 6/10


Steak & Cheese roll (obvious enough):

I bought this one to see how the available meaty alternatives stack up. First bite... Nice! This one is probably objectively saltier than the last one, but I'm a total fiend for cheese. Beef is decent i.e. you can actually tell it's meat and there are no chewy or gristly lumps, which is the best one can hope for in these kind of situations. I bet this is the one with the most calories, it sures tastes like it. I like it, although I reckon I'd have trouble eating more than one or two of these in one sitting. 7/10


Fourth sausage roll (Quorn again, Christian?):

But here's a critical test; can the vegan alternative stack up in a second tasting? On the one hand, I've eaten a whole bunch of stuff now and should be less hungry. But on the other, I'm more than three-quarters through my Desperados. First bite, round two! Seems a bit less salty this time. Maybe they could tweak the flavour a bit? If the flavour of this sausage roll could be translated into sound, I'd say it would have a bit too much treble. Needs some additional bass to round it out. 6/10 sustained score!


My conclusion:

A decent first effort, but they really need to bring more definition to the flavour than salt alone can provide. I mean, this stuff is made from mycoprotein, it can't be that hard to give it a nice kind of mushroomy flavour to make it stand out.

 

[kalidarkone]

It's fackin mingin in tea though matey innit

I really like it in tea. Not coffee though- that's got to be full fat cow juice.....although I have (this will blow your mind friedaweed ) used oatly barista ( a milk made from oats) which is fucking amazing and the only non dairy milk I've been able to tolerate in coffee.

Anyway for various reasons there are reasons why people can't have dairy products or gluten. The hospital is slowly realising this.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Thanks, that's really interesting.

BTW I'm not furious, I'm not sure were you get that idea from, just passing time whilst eating my toastie and having a giggle with fellow muppets. Is it toasty or toastie?

Toasty is an adjective, as in 'toasty warm'. Toastie is the noun.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I've always had difficulty digesting Linda McCartney sausages.

I would imagine bangers made from her would not be strictly vegan anyway. Plus they’d probably be a bit gamey by now.

 

[friedaweed]

Toasty is an adjective, as in 'toasty warm'. Toastie is the noun.

I thought so. Someone needs to shoot windows spell checker

 

[friedaweed]

I really like it in tea. Not coffee though- that's got to be full fat cow juice.....although I have (this will blow your mind friedaweed ) used oatly barista ( a milk made from oats) which is fucking amazing and the only non dairy milk I've been able to tolerate in coffee.

Anyway for various reasons there are reasons why people can't have dairy products or gluten. The hospital is slowly realising this.

I always use oats in my beer brewing because you get a really nice thick mouth feel to the beer. I can see why it could make a decent substitute. I might have to investigate this