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Should parents be able to post up pictures of their kids without permission?

editor

editor

hiraethified
Interesting conundrum here. I'm glad social media wasn't around when I was a small child.

Why do people find 'sharenting' upsetting?
Ironically, children aren't technically allowed to register with most social media services until they are 13 anyway - which means some rule-abiding teenagers get a shock when they finally get online.

Konrad Iturbe, a 19-year-old software developer in Spain, says he had a "big awakening" when he realised his parents had been posting photos of him online.

"My mother had Instagram before I even had a phone - so I wasn't aware that photos of me had been published," he told the BBC.

"I really don't like photos of me online anyway - I don't even post photos of myself on my Instagram account - so when I followed my mother and saw them on her profile, I told her to 'take this down, I've not given you permission'."

Konrad says his mother understood his concerns and acted quickly to deal with the issue - as he says all parents should.

He says discovering the pictures it felt like a "breach of privacy". It particularly bothered him because there were photos of him as a young child, and his mother's Instagram account was open to the public.

"I didn't want photos of my youth shared, it's a very intimate thing," he says, adding that he is also worried about "facial recognition algorithms" and people being able to "start tracing me when I'm older".

Sonia Bokhari, a 14-year-old in the US, had a similar experience when she first joined Twitter and Facebook.

Writing in Fast Company magazine, she says: "When I saw the pictures that she [her mother] had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed.

"There, for anyone to see on her public Facebook account, were all of the embarrassing moments from my childhood: the letter I wrote to the tooth fairy when I was five years old, pictures of me crying when I was a toddler, and even vacation pictures of me when I was 12 and 13 that I had no knowledge of."
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'Mum! Stop sharing photos of me online!'
 
I think all you can do is comply with your child's wishes. Mine don't really mind the ones of when they were little being on there but have specifically asked me not to post them without telling them. And no recent ones. Which is fair enough, really. I mean, there are plenty of pics of me that I don't want them to post either!

(Fwiw my son live streams on instagram quite often and most of his live streams end with my voice saying 'will you give me that fucking phone and stop acting like a dick?!'. And then I get embarrassed when I realise his phone's still on. :rolleyes: I bet Joe Sugg never has this problem. Times really are a-changin').
 
Oh well this is a tricky one. On the one hand, no. But on the other hand, still no.

Your kids are not your fucking property. Even if you think they're too young to have rights or privacy or anything, they will grow up some day and all the shit you posted without their consent will still be there.
 
It is an issue.

I made a book for family distribution of 80 pictures of my son from age 1 to about 14. I don't post those pictures online and the books only went to close family.

But I have some which are more than just a snapshot of son, and those I sometime share in my camera club, which has a limited viewership.

It is quite rare that I will put pictures of him on the open Internet through. Although I have done it once or twice.

I took photos of him today which he knows might end up on display at the camera club, he was quite relaxed about it.
 
For a while I was the informal family photographer for a group of our friends, I didn't post any pictures of their kids online, but I did share some with my camera club.
 
I have to say if I was born a lot later and instagram or facebook was around in my parents' time and they posted loads of pictures of me when i was younger... When I grew up I would be very unhappy about it. I think parents should think a bit more before they post pics of their kids, sorry if anyone does that.
 
Facebook is just another phenomenon altogether.

I have called out friends for the photos they have posted there.
 
I can post pics of my eldest son willy nilly because he absolutely loves the attention. My daughter has to pre-approve pics of her and it’s rare I’m allowed to post one of my youngest.

With regards to the little ones, I always ask mum’s permission before I post a pic.
 
moomoo said:
I can post pics of my eldest son willy nilly because he absolutely loves the attention. My daughter has to pre-approve pics of her and it’s rare I’m allowed to post one of my youngest.

With regards to the little ones, I always ask mum’s permission before I post a pic.
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I think you are right moomoo, a lot depends on the subjects opinions on it.
 
And I suppose it might depend if you have your fb permissions tied down, friends only for example limits the public viewing of the images.

When someone views a profile in LinkedIn, there is evidence someone has been there, even if they come anonymously, but in fb there is no evidence who has been browsing.
 
Pictures of kids posted online are the equivalent of getting photo albums out when someone visits. I didn't like that much as a kid so yeah some kids must hate their parents posting them online for all and sundry to see and comment on.

I personally am not that bothered by people posting pics of their kids, regardless of how often, I enjoy the pics mostly...I do admit to being irritated by the humble-brag obviously embellished stories people tell about themselves/their kids online... It's just so fucking pointless, obviously competitive and dishonest. I have muted more than one person's feed for that reason.
 
I don’t have a problem with it. I always ask other people before I post pics of their kids but I’m happy posting my own.

Can’t see an issue with it tbh. *shrugs*
 
S☼I said:
Don't believe you or Spooky have kids. I may be wrong. What's your Hot Take on this issue, regarding those parents who DO put up pics of their kids?
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Then you're fucking wrong, but congrats for posting up the most trite of arguments.
 
editor said:
Like I said in the opening post: "it's a conundrum."
I wouldn't like to be an 18 year old with hundreds of pictures of me in my young teens freely available on line and I think its something that parents should talk to their kids about, particularly as they go into adolescence.
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How freely available is freely available?
Parents I guess are proud of their kids, and the unexceptional but also amazing stuff they get up to. I know what Frank means about kids not being property of parents, but posting pics isn't claiming ownership.
I think it'd be a bit weird if you never posted photos of your kids anywhere until they were of an age to be able to express their permission and understand privacy in the detail required to make that judgement.

I mean Urban has a dedicated kids photos thread - is there really a genuine argument against people being able to decide using their own judgement that posting photos of their own children is ok on that thread, or for their friends on Facebook or wherever?
 
I've only ever posted one photo of my kids, it was me and the two of them just after the youngest was born. I think it's up to them what they want online and it's not my call to put them online.
I don't think 13 is old enough for informed consent about what kind of digital footprint kids start leaving either FWIW but I don't I'm restricting social media accounts to an older age is possible
 
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