Ship porn

[Indeliblelink]

This would never of happened if they had used the same technology as in Cornwall.

 

[spitfire]

Haven't pressed send yet.

Yes. Entirely?

Done this now.

* awaits board invasion of centrist dads *

 

[teuchter]

None of the suggestions submitted to the Guardian on behalf of urban75

I have compiled our suggestions for the Graun. as follows.

Nuclear explosion under the ship. Also will create a new passing place. win/win.

Massive beavers to build a large dam around the ship to float it away (must not be combined with nuclear solution as risk of creating mutant beavers).

More salt in canal to increase buoyancy.

Dig bypass for ships.

Ask French Intelligence to "Deal with it".

Fill with helium/balloons.

Move boat.

Turn canal off and on again.

Fill hull with expanding foam.

Massive ice breaker take big run up to snap it like a twig. (May need some extra outboards for more "welly".


View attachment 260364

This is just embarrassing.

 

[spitfire]

None of the suggestions submitted to the Guardian on behalf of urban75

This is just embarrassing.

I've let you down, let myself down, let the whole school down.

 

[A380]

None of the suggestions submitted to the Guardian on behalf of urban75

This is just embarrassing.

I’m sure you have submitted ‘ ban all travel for anyone not as educated and refined as me, force the ignorant ( everyone not me or Melvyn Bragg on a good day) to live in dark hovels and eat locally produced lichen and wear homespun sack cloth thus removing the need for international shipping’...

 

[High Voltage]

Zapp Brannigan (a traffic engineer) once outlined to me a way potential terrorists could easily bring the entire country to pretty much a standstill with minimal effort . . .

 

[spitfire]

The driver just needs to get back in and just reverse what he did to get it in this position.

Aw I missed this one, sorry LynnDoyleCooper

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

PM me, and you ain't seen me. Roight?

 

[kebabking]

Ship jousting. This shit just gets better every day.

 

[spitfire]

Ship jousting. This shit just gets better every day.

"Because fuck you that's why" - Florence Spirit

 

[pesh]

Just let the air out the tyres.

 

[nogojones]

None of the suggestions submitted to the Guardian on behalf of urban75

This is just embarrassing.

If they'd used bicycles instead of big fuck off boats to move these containers, this sort of thing would never have happened in the first place

 

[klang]

If, as they say, the stuck ship is such a big problem for international trade, why don't they just move the ship to a less awkward location, thus making Suez fit for purpose again?

 

[Orang Utan]

Is it called the Evergreen or the Evergiven? Reports aren’t consistent

 

[cupid_stunt]

Ship jousting. This shit just gets better every day.

This is what happens when two mad captains play chicken.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Is it called the Evergreen or the Evergiven? Reports aren’t consistent

Ever Given, operated by the Evergreen shipping company.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I've let you down, let myself down, let the whole school down.

Has the Ever Given nicked your login?

 

[nogojones]

Ever Given, operated by the Evergreen shipping company.

on the other side of the hull it says "zero fucks"

 

[davesgcr]

Got it - get some engineers in to de-water the canal by building dams front and rear - get some shovel experts to dig out the silt.

Get Guy Gibson and some Lancaster planes in to destroy the dams. Job done - obviously after the shovel gangs are clear.

Sell the silt to Topcat for his garden project.

 

[mauvais]

Is it called the Evergreen or the Evergiven? Reports aren’t consistent

Evergreen is the shipping company, Ever Given is the name of the ship. Not sure why so many people are struggling with that.

 

[Orang Utan]

Evergreen is the shipping company, Ever Given is the name of the ship. Not sure why so many people are struggling with that.

It has Ever Green written on the side and Ever Given seems like a meme rather than an actual name

 

[planetgeli]

Ship jousting. This shit just gets better every day.

"Because fuck you that's why" - Florence Spirit

Fuck you and your renewable energy apparently.

The Florence Spirit was carrying a load of coal while the Alanis was carrying wind turbine parts.

 

[mauvais]

It has Ever Green written on the side and Ever Given seems like a meme rather than an actual name

When you're in the business of running a shitload of ships I guess naming them gets less fun, so they all tend to be called along the lines of Company Something - e.g. Ever Golden, Ever Globe, Exxon Valdez, Emma Maersk (this one's backwards) etc

 

[A380]

Perhaps it’s like how you get rid of a red wine stain by pouring white wine on it. They could get a big red container ship to crash alongside and that would remove the problem?

(n.b I’m not a naval architect)

 

[weltweit]

Hmm laborious, remove containers, one at a time, float ship off ground, replace containers one at a time, pay massive compensation bill to other traffic that was held up.

 

[planetgeli]

This just in from tugboatinstitute.com.

I think someone is taking the piss with a little edit.

Evergreen businesses are led by Purpose-driven leaders with the grit and resourcefulness to build and scale private, profitable, enduring, and market-leading businesses. that make a dent in the universe. Evergreen companies are the most important companies in our society. today and redefine success.

 

[Sprocket.]

It’s straightforward to refloat, but time consuming. Injection dredging teams, one each side of the grounded ship and remove the built up margins from beneath the ship. One team on the port bow and another on the starboard stern. And several weeks of pumping out the slurry and silt.
The idea of these huge ships is to reduce costs, but as ever there is never a problem until something like this happens. Deep water Horizon being an example from another industry.

 

[Brainaddict]

Can't they just jiggle it about a bit?

 

[klang]

They should put the foot mats under the tyres and reverse very slowly.

 

[Sprocket.]

Where’s Moses when you need him?