Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Yeah, it's really fucked up. Worse outside London too. This mate got hit in the face with a smashed bottle walking down a road in Leicester a few years ago. WTF is wrong with some people
Fucking hell
Sexual street harassment in Brixton
- Thread starter S A Villarino
- Start date
Fucking hell
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
More a case of being dick by accident. Sorry if I offended you.I'm trying to work out whether you're being a dick or not
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
Opps, posting on my phone and I tend to lose track of who's who.
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wobbly
"a proper feminist would've slapped him in the face" - shut up brain
gawds I hate that. the attitude and the way we all internalise it. there's still a way a proper woman should behave, even when we've 'opted out' of the traditional behavior modes.
silverfish
Sprinkling glitter on turds
If I'm with my partner and someone touched her up whats a normal blokes "proper" response
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Ask you partner how she would want you to respond if this happened. Do that.
Massive cultural generalisations aside for a moment, I think it's a very dodgy and apologist argument to suggest that we shouldn't challenge sexism within certain cultures
This and a few other posts saying that some on here are apologists for not wanting to challenge harassment, etc, in particular cultures. I don't think anyone on here has excused sexist behaviour because it comes from a particular ethnic/cultural group. My concern is about the possible consequences of singling out any one community.
I prefer a man to butt out of it, and allow me to deal with it myself. I've NEVER told my partners when other blokes have come on to me, what's the point. Its very infantilsing, or whatever the word is.
Manter
Lunch Mob
I don't think we have singled out one community. And the very few who have have been very firmly slapped down
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wobbly
I know what response I would prefer. I don't however happen to have a telepathic awareness of what your partner might want. If you had considered the post you were replying to slightly more carefully, you would be well aware that I was not in favor of any kind of definition of what was or was not a 'proper' response by individuals facing harassment. That many of us have an internalised idea of what the proper response should be is a part of the problem.
so try asking her.
Manter
Lunch Mob
Come on and shouted at/grabbed in street are a bit different. I've told the Northerner about some stuff after the fact, he has seen some stuff happen. And how he responds or doesn't entirely depends on the context- in parts of the Middle East words said to me were sometimes a challenge to him, i.e. he needed to respond. So I taught him to swear in Arabic
Other times I need him to stick closer to me- e.g. a market in Tbilisi where I needed him to be obviously there so I could relax- every time he wandered off someone came and hissed in my ear. In Brixton, I can look after myself, and him punching a random wouldn't exactly help matters
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
I don't think that anyone on here is saying that sexual street harassment is the sole preserve of black men.The apologist posters have talked about the black community as if it's one homogenous group, quite the opposite of singling out. Many posters such as AS, mation and Violent panda have taken issue with that generalisation.
What is clear to me from my experience and this discussion is that sexual street harassment is done by men from all different backgrounds and not just the black ones.
boohoo
No.
sometimes of course casual shitty misogyny and shitty homophobia join hands and have a big old shitty wank, as proved by the man who recently followed me down the escalator at Brixton tube (shortly after I'd got a grade 2 haircut) to vocally enquire if I was a lesbian
When I had shaved hair, I remember a guy having the are you a lesbian chat. Then being pleased that I wasn't because that meant I would have children.
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
When I had shaved hair, I remember a guy having the are you a lesbian chat. Then being pleased that I wasn't because that meant I would have children.
His children?
kittyP
Pluviophile
Come on and shouted at/grabbed in street are a bit different. I've told the Northerner about some stuff after the fact, he has seen some stuff happen. And how he responds or doesn't entirely depends on the context- in parts of the Middle East words said to me were sometimes a challenge to him, i.e. he needed to respond. So I taught him to swear in Arabic
I don't tend to tell badgers until after the fact unless I am really freaking as I don't want him to get himself in to trouble.
I know it is true that they should respect whatever you want them to do or say about it but sometimes it is difficult when emotions are high, in the same way as I might find it difficult to control how I reacted if someone did something to him while I was there iywim?
ETA: Also in the same was as if someone did something bad to anyone I knew.
boohoo
No.
His children?
yer it was an odd conversation.
Other odd ones is being tapped on the shoulder and told with my bottom I'd go far. And also being asked why I am so white....
5t3IIa
Registered User
The last time someone touched me on the street I wanted to go home and get my bf to beat the crap out of him..... for about a millisecond I was SO ANGRY and I wanted the bloke to get touched slightly harder than he'd touched me. But it was a millisecond and tbh was more about what a guttersnipe my ex was fuck alone knows. *ahem*
I was SO ANGRY and I wanted the bloke to get touched slightly harder than he'd touched me. But it was a millisecond and tbh was more about what a guttersnipe my ex was fuck alone knows. *ahem*
Manter
Lunch Mob
yeah, completely agree. The Northerner tends not to get 'punchy', fortunately, but I had an ex who would have really struggled not to get himself into trouble if he'd known about a couple of incidents at the time.
yet another thing we are supposed to take on- protecting and managing other's reactions!
boohoo
No.
Moving away from London to random stuff outside the city, I remember a guy in liverpool running up to us shouting suck my dick...
Though we did get some serious bother from a guy in a taxi queue who grabbed my butt and then didn't like it when we asked him to not do that. He shouted at me and my friend to go back to London where we came from ( although my friend is a scouser). This bloke was quite unpleasant.
Though we did get some serious bother from a guy in a taxi queue who grabbed my butt and then didn't like it when we asked him to not do that. He shouted at me and my friend to go back to London where we came from ( although my friend is a scouser). This bloke was quite unpleasant.
kittyP
Pluviophile
When I had shaved hair, I remember a guy having the are you a lesbian chat. Then being pleased that I wasn't because that meant I would have children.
A guy was once asking me to go home with him while trapped on a bus.
I told him I was married. He asked if I had children, I said "not that it's makes any difference but no", he couldn't fathom why if I didn't have children, I wouldn't go him with him.
I got off the bus early where it was more full of people but thankfully he stayed on.
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Ugh. I am now thinking about the dickhead ex and an incident on my 22nd birthday where he caught sight of a man having a good look ay my boobs. My ex had a proper go at me for it. Yep this is the same ex that said I brought incidents of sexual harassment on myself
5t3IIa
Registered User
Moving away from London to random stuff outside the city, I remember a guy in liverpool running up to us shouting suck my dick...
Though we did get some serious bother from a guy in a taxi queue who grabbed my butt and then didn't like it when we asked him to not do that. He shouted at me and my friend to go back to London where we came from ( although my friend is a scouser). This bloke was quite unpleasant.
But WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT? WHAT DO THEY WANT?
kittyP
Pluviophile
Badgers isn't punchy either but, if he went and had a word and the wanker got punchy, there isn't a lot you can do.
5t3IIa
Registered User
Ugh. I am now thinking about the dickhead ex and an incident on my 22nd birthday where he caught sight of a man having a good look ay my boobs. My ex had a proper go at me for it. Yep this is the same ex that said I brought incidents of sexual harassment on myself
Yes! Some guy
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Yes! Some guylookedglanced at me in the street. "Do you know him?" I was asked meaingfully "What? Know who?"
Innit. I hadn't even noticed. We *had* to go home after that, another occasion ruined by that twat.
5t3IIa
Registered User
I have got to blame myself for choosing to be with a dickhead and not throwing him back into the gutter where I found him
A female house mate years ago used to get crap every night on her way home from work when I was living in Clapton. So one night I went and confronted her tormenters, because I'd had a beer. They actually seemed a bit shocked that they were being pulled and didn't respond aggressively, much to my good fortune.
They actually seemed a bit shocked that they were being pulled and didn't respond aggressively, much to my good fortune.
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Scutta is normally quite good at diffusing aggression but when ive needed to say something it's normally been afterwards. Only said at the time when I've been a bit worried or not able to deal with it by myself.
