maomao
普費斯
Why the fuck should she?
RIP Sarah Everard, who went missing from Brixton in March 2021
- Thread starter trashpony
- Start date
colacubes
Mr Hot Cookie
Elpenor
Dancing as fast as I can
I have access to lots of peoples private information such as phone number, address etc as part of my job - and, in a previous job, this extended to having access to the salary details of close friends whose employers were clients of my employer.
The thought of misusing that to harass individuals is completely against my own principles. Should be the same for the cops too, although clearly it isn’t given the sorry low threshold of acceptable behaviour we see all too frequently.
The thought of misusing that to harass individuals is completely against my own principles. Should be the same for the cops too, although clearly it isn’t given the sorry low threshold of acceptable behaviour we see all too frequently.
AnnO'Neemus
Is so vanilla
I think it is a disciplinary offence for cops to access their databases/systems for reasons other than in the course of their duties. But it probably happens way more than is investigated/results in disciplinary action.
Elpenor
Dancing as fast as I can
I’m sure it would be, and no doubt searches on IT systems can be tracked, but there’d be no such audit of handwritten notes.
LeytonCatLady
Well-Known Member
Because that doesn't solve the problem long term. I agree there's no shame in choosing to take a break from Tinder or Twitter or whatever if the trolls are getting you down, but that has to be up to the person getting the abuse. Harassing her off Tinder is what these bullies want!
dessiato
🇪🇸 españa te quiero
She shouldn't have to nor need to. But if it stops her getting shit then why wouldn't she? I would.
Thora
Differently Ethical
You can't just stop doing something every time you get harassed. You still have to live your life.
dessiato
🇪🇸 españa te quiero
Unfortunately that's true. As I've said in other posts, she shouldn't need or have to.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
you can swipe right on someone so you come up on their feed. Those cops didn’t need to say anything to intimidate Stevenson, just appear in uniform in their profile pics or notify that they’re cops in their written profiles, as described in the BBC article
existentialist
Tired and unemotional
I imagine that 99% of people getting similar harassment do just shut down the account and walk away. The fact that she has chosen to stand her ground, and speak up about it, means that yet another example of abusive, misogynistic (and not in a Diminic Raab way) behaviour by police officers is known to us.
Whatever her reasons for not backing down, she deserves credit and support for being prepared to stand firm and call this shit out. Whether it achieves anything, of course, is a completely different matter - it is clear to me that this government is hell bent on marginalising any and all examples of police misogyny, and at best treating it as a series of isolated individual cases, rather than an embedded structural problem.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
aye, she has a right to a love life!
existentialist
Tired and unemotional
Or the passing of someone's name around on a WhatsApp group
dessiato
🇪🇸 españa te quiero
I agree with you, which is why I said "If she's being bothered then some sort of action/investigation needs to be undertaken."
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
which means her making a complaint and going through a whole rigmarole about it, taking up her time and with a fairly certain result, ie that any officer deemed to have been harassing her will be given 'words of advice' or similar. and no doubt many of the men who've behaved like this won't have any action taken against them following any complaint. which would be a very poor return for another period of stress.
i can see why she might not want to go through all that. i hope you can too.
dessiato
🇪🇸 españa te quiero
I can, and I do.
Any and every woman should be free to go anywhere she wants, any time she wants, and wearing anything she wants. Sadly this is not the world in which we live, yet.
If everyone stood up and protested/complained hopefully, sooner rather than later, we would live in that world.
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
Regarding the misogyny hate crime, am I right in thinking Johnson and now Raab are trying to paint it as the call is just being a woman hater should be a crime, rather than committing a crime because you hate women makes it a more serious offence than just committing it willy-nilly, in the same way that crimes can be racially aggravated and so on?
8ball
Decolonise colons!
Would that include woman-hating women?
I suspect Raab doesn't know what the fuck he's on about.
Justice Secretary Dominic Raab has been accused of failing to understand the meaning of the word misogyny in an interview about violence against women.
Speaking to the BBC, he said "insults and misogyny is absolutely wrong whether it's a man against a woman or a woman against a man".
Conservative conference: Dominic Raab criticised for misogyny comments
The justice secretary is accused of not understanding the definition of prejudice against women.
www.bbc.co.uk
I don’t know if I hold with that. I think we all have some responsibility to recognise that if we dress in a particularly provocative or revealing way, you will attract attention. That is the point, after all. I don’t think it gives the green light for sexual harassment or assault.
But I don’t think we are, or should be, free to wear anything we want at any given time. We have a responsibility to consider the effect of what we are wearing on others.
LeytonCatLady
Well-Known Member
Exactly. I've mentioned before, on this thread and others, how I go out when I want, go to a pub on my own if I want and don't rely on other people to be with me just because it's after dark. If a friend offers to walk me home, I accept but I don't rely on that happening to the point where I can't do stuff if they're not around. And yes, I know it worries my friends and family that I do that, but I refuse to depend on other people. Partly because, like Thora and Orang Utan said, you have to live/love your life, but also as a form of protest/complaint about restrictions women are pressured to put ourselves under. Yes, maybe what I'm doing does ignore reality, but then again, I don't want it to be reality that even in the 21st century, women can't do stuff. It shouldn't be. I strongly reject that idea! Our foremothers did not fight for us to have the vote, equal pay and equal opportunities just so we can still be told what to do and where we should or shouldn't go at night. There are bad people out there, but that shouldn't be used as an excuse for keeping women insecure and dependent. Men also get assaulted, mugged, stabbed etc. but they don't get victim-blamed for being out after dark, and women shouldn't either.
By the way dessiato , you come across as a good kind bloke and I think you're probably looking at the situation with a protective eye because you don't like to see women getting hurt. I understand that, and appreciate you listening to our explanations as to why it's not that simple.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
I'm not sure where the bar is here. If you like to adorn yourself in garb covered in racial slurs or spinning blades, then I get that...
Or getting your bits out in certain situations etc.
Otherwise, I think so long as there isn't some kind of health/safety issue, then while some we obviously know some social sanctions and judgement may occur for wildly inappropriate clothing, being harassed and/or attacked, and/or blame being re-apportioned in such cases - that shouldn't remotely be part of the equation.
Last edited:
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
Why close her account when the police on Tinder are piling up their own evidence of their misconduct? Give a (police)man enough rope and he'll hang himself.
LeytonCatLady
Well-Known Member
I laughed, but it's actually a very good point. That's why they advise you not to delete abusive emails, but rather create a separate folder you can redirect them, so you've got the evidence if it's needed but you don't need to read it.
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
She doesn't necessarily need to complain formally...the press coverage has already done a good job of showing up the Met. Well done her.
purenarcotic
Conveniently Pocket Sized
Can you give a specific example? Genuinely trying to understand what you mean. Do you mean it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to wear a mini skirt if I was going to visit a synagogue or something?
bimble
floofy
i agree with you. It's a difficult one to talk about.
My ideas are impacted by the fact that I've done quite a bit of travel, some to do with work, often in places where for example women never show their legs at all, or their shoulders etc, depending. If you were to turn up in a strappy vest and short shorts and expect to be treated with any kind of respect by anybody, men or women, because 'its my right to wear whatever i want', you'd be (imo) a fool. And even though we like to imagine that its entirely different here nobody cares or nobody judges or reacts or whatever, thats just not how things work.
The most important bit though is, as you say, that nothing a person wears is any kind of green light for harassment or assault. That's the bit that matters.
