This in spades. And don't be that guy who apologises after the event to the woman his friend's been hassling (for example), excusing his behaviour because he's drunk or has just split up with his GF or whatever. Tell your friend it's unacceptable at the time and explain exactly why. This sounds like a small thing but it's really common (and very annoying) and would IME go some small way to changing the overall atmosphere.
I can tell you how I cope, other women may differ.
Read this book if you want to get really depressed.
This advice is well-intentioned but I fear it's unrealistic, as anyone who's been arrested or had any hostile dealings with the police will know. 'Resisting arrested calmly' could just get you tazered and/or flung to the ground and handcuffed. It might be possible if among a group of people who're bystanders, but otherwise I doubt it. Similarly with no.2, quite likely they'd just grab your phone.
Nice you have the choice. I'd rather not experience it.
I think sometimes these men are 'othered' when people say things like, 'a real man doesn't beat up women,' because the venn diagram of 'people who beat up women' and 'men' has a pretty fucking big overlap, actually. But yeah, I do think it's about childhood, culture, role models, and of course the patriarchy makes a less than discreet appearance in all of these, but your post is quite positive actually, how can we change the culture? Women, especially feminists, have been trying since time immemorial. It's mainly like hitting your head against a wall, unfortunately. Just look at some of the threads here!
These are the questions that need a proper examination/investigation/studies. It's not happening, each horrific crime against women is seen as individual, rather than as part of a whole, a pattern, an entrenched behaviour, so nothing ultimately gets done about preventing it in the first place. It's obviously tied up with how men are raised, our society, toxic masculinity, patriarchy etc, it's not just one thing.
The book is more about how men get drawn into that world, at many different levels and what we should be doing to prevent it (at the moment fuck all). Basically men are radicalised in the same way as terrorists are but of course even though thousands of women die at the hands of men all the resources are put into counter terrorism. It sucks and shows just how low on the priority women actually are
I feel exactly the same. There ought to be a never-ending national programme to work on the root causes. But there's nothing. Nothing at all.
I am not the person with expertise in this area, plus there's no single way to approach this.
I know, having been arrested. And I wouldn’t have posted it had it not come from a woman’s organisation. But sadly, the cops aren’t going to change. So society is going to have to learn to stop trusting the police by default, and learn some tactics to use to do that. If even people (and I’m including men here) manage to phone their emergency contacts that would be an improvement.
'While police officers often patrol in pairs, whether on foot or in cars, this is not always the case. In 2018 the Met recorded 375,760 instances of “single crewing”.'
Police have experience of changing or losing evidence. Lots of experience
'While police officers often patrol in pairs, whether on foot or in cars, this is not always the case. In 2018 the Met recorded 375,760 instances of “single crewing”.'
Presumably includes arrests but I haven't read the doc linked to,
Women given mixed advice on checking police identity after Sarah Everard murder
Met says plainclothes officers will no longer patrol on their own as force admits it needs to do more to earn trustwww.theguardian.com
Hah, I'd just read that when I saw your post
. I was quite surprised as I thought they had to go out in pairs but evidently not.
Yes, I've seen it done. Long time ago. Plain clothes cop arresting an alleged drug dealer, was with a few friends at the time, weren't sure what was going on so we queried it. Can't recall if we'd asked to see his number / warrant card, but if so I expect he'd told us to piss off. These days you could take a photo, if he was in the process of an abduction maybe that would deter him?
